Help! I am scared to have this baby!

lucy979 · 08-10-2003, 03:45 AM

Ok, I have given birth before. I know what to expect and pretty much what is normal. But this time I am having this baby in Germany with a German doctor at a German hospital. I am not quite sure what to expect at the hospital. I know they do alot of things different here. For instance, Germans don't normally believe in episiotomies (sp?). I had one with dd and it was fine. I don't want to tear.

Also, I don't want to be in all that pain afterwards! I know, I am such a baby! But I guess now that I know what it will feel like after I just am not looking forward to it.

Anybody else feel this way about their labor? I just can't get over these feelings of apprehension. Thanks!

Daphne · 08-10-2003, 07:31 AM

Well I have never had a baby before but you will be ok!! I'll be praying for you!!! Hang in there....before you know it you are going to have a beautiful child!!

Darlene · 08-10-2003, 08:21 AM

Laci, I think a tour of where you are going to have the baby and talking to other ladies would give you some info that should help alleviate your fears & make you more comfortable by knowing what to expect. Don't hesitate to tell your doctor of your concerns either.

Nice time to have a baby~ my birthday is the 2nd.

heavensent_7 · 08-10-2003, 08:47 AM

I just wanted to say I was cut with my first and tore with my second and the second healed faster and didn't hurt so badly.

Also everybody says the second is quicker (mine was) my best friends was longer.

People have SO many stories (that scared the hell out of me) but each pregnancy, birth and baby are different.

I was more scared with my 5th than with any of the others and I didn't even know why

I would never tell anybody what it is like to have a baby because quite honestly I don't know - If I had another I'm sure it would be different again.

The way you feel is ok - and you know yourself, when they give you your beautiful new child everything else doesn't matter anymore - My first experience to be honest was awful - I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know the hospital or ANY of the doctors, I panic and everything went wrong (in my opinion lol) it should of put me off for LIFE - but I had another FIVE pregnancys LMAO!

Everything will be fine and the more you can relax the easier it will be for you and your baby - relaxing doesn't come easy to me, but you can 'learn' it.

Whatever happens though - you will have a beautiful new baby and THEN all the problems begin

Try to relax and look forward to meeting your child - I'm thinking of you. xxx

AmyMCGS · 08-10-2003, 10:39 AM

I think anxiety is normal even if you were having the baby in the exact same place with the same doctors... that's my observation based on watching my friends recently! You just never know how each labor will progress.

I agree with Darlene, if you can arrange a tour that might really help.

Best wishes.... and remember that no matter how you get there, the end result is worth it!

Heather · 08-10-2003, 10:43 AM

I think the tour is a great idea too and discussing with your doctor your feelings.

Thinking about you and praying that you will find peace in your decisions.

lucy979 · 08-10-2003, 10:46 AM

Thanks guys! I have a class at the clinic on post Monday so hopefully they will give me some info about the hospital. I'll let you know.

captclearance · 08-10-2003, 10:57 AM

Laci, like Bev, I was cut with the first and tore with the other two, the tear did heal faster and was less painful. They don't usually cut here in the states anymore either...... You'll be fine, they have been having babies all over the world... Germany has modern medical facilities too ! It's natural to be afraid...... You'll both be fine ! I hope the class helps you feel better ! {{{{HUGS}}}}

Mom23boys · 08-10-2003, 11:09 AM

I think the tour idea is a great idea and talking to your doctor about your concerns is too.

I think aniexty is normal as well. I was nervous about all 3 of my deliveries. They all progressed so different.

I will be praying for you.

mylittle4 · 08-10-2003, 12:05 PM

Same her with the cut and tear. My tear healed faster. Also keep in mind that the need for an episiotomy greatly decreases with the second child. It is scary to give birth rather it be your first or your fourth. getting a tour of the hospital will definatly help I think. Take everyone's advice and try to relax everything will be ok but I would be worrieed about you if you weren't scared it is perfectly normal. I am sure you remember that last month of pregnancy you will want that kid OUT german hospital or not!

aylasmommy · 08-10-2003, 12:21 PM

I was also scared with my second delivery. The pain afterwards wasn't all that bad at all. The only thing that really hurt afterwards was some of the uterus contractions while it was shrinking but it wasn't any worse than some period cramps.

I'm so exctied for you, it's such a wonderful time, I know it's scary but it'll pass and soon you'll have a tiny bundle of joy in your arms and you'll have forgotton all about the labor in a few months

vecollins · 08-10-2003, 02:04 PM

I agree with the others about trying to arrange a tour of the facility... that would probably help you feel better.....Also, try to relax and not think too much about it, everything will be fine!!!!!

jleaf · 08-10-2003, 06:15 PM

I agree with every one, talk to your Dr. also let the nurse know when you gi in, Tell them how important it is to you.

simplemom · 08-10-2003, 07:42 PM

(((hugs)))Lucy.

Yes, do explain to your dr your fears and how you wish your birth to be. Talking will reassure you. I wish you a memorable and beautiful birth...

guest2 · 08-10-2003, 08:00 PM

You've gotten some great advice here from all these lovely ladies. Communication with your doctor is the key and the tour of the hospital will also help to put you at ease. I pray that your delivery is a quick and easy one and your healing time in minimal.