Thinking of having another lil one

**mom23boyz** · 04-03-2008, 07:34 PM

So heres my story in a nutshell. I have 3 boys almost 13,almost 12 and the baby almost 11 when baby was about 2 hubby had a vasectomy(pretty much against my wishes but anyways) so jump ahead to today...he has decided my years of wanting and wishing for another lil one may not be such a bad idea. He wants me to show him how financially we can do it before we take the next step..the reversal.I think I am going to look at and consider cloth diapers vs disposable. I will definetly nurse and may qualify for WIC again but not sure. Can anyone give me a rough $$ amt of formula and disposable diapers(each)? TIA

**Darlene** · 04-03-2008, 07:58 PM

I cannot answer this the way I want to. Just suffice to say I am glad you have 3 healthy children and to want more without supporting them fully on your own is not fair to others. Just my honest heartfelt opinion. Qualify for this or that doesn't matter. Want to share more love, volunteer. It will mean so much to so many.

To find yourself in a situation where you need help is one thing to me and I understand that. But to go into a situation with eyes wide open and choose to just do it anyway to me is another.

Oh , want to add, I wanted another so very much... but dh pointed out that we couldn't afford another. He was right.
Darlene, proud Mom of 2.

**mom23boyz** · 04-03-2008, 08:26 PM

I just want to say I have alwayssss supported my kids on my own. I have never been on AFDC nor any other welfare programs. Even when we really needed the help we didn't get it. WIC is done thru the hopital where I work and as far as I'm concerned anyone who HAS a job should be eligible for WIC not if they are on welfare. Just my opinion.I think I am sorry I even asked this question. I really only mentioned it before someone else did. Off to work I go

**Hannahs mom** · 04-03-2008, 09:29 PM

I went to cloth diapers in January for times when I'm home. DD stays with her grandmas when I'm at work. I started out with 2 packs of Gerber vinyl pants (12 total), two sets (total of 24) of Gerber 3ply flat fold diapers, and 4 baby pins. I got all of this at Walmart and spent about 34 dollars. After a couple of days I decided that I wanted more absorbency so I went to target and bought a pack of 12 Gerber 6 ply. These are much better. With the 3 ply I just add some soft leftover fabric in, kind of like a pad. This works well too. I have enjoyed my conversion to cloth and plan to do the same with any other children I might have. Disposals usually run 18-26 cents a piece from Walmart brands - Pampers.

Formula is very costly. The last I can remember the Walmart/Sam;s/Target brands were around 14.00 and that lasted maybe 5-6 days. IMHO, breastfeeding is the most natural and healthy way to feed a baby. But, not all mothers can nurse even if they've nursed before.

Babies are wonderful and I think that the majority of women always have the feeling of wanting another child. If you and hubby decide to try again, just make sure that you do have all the financials thought out, such as cost of the reversal, maternity leave, childcare, new baby's insurance, the 50/50 chance that the baby might not be healthy and might need extra hospitalizations, etc. as well as the cost as the child (as well as your older 3) become older.
Just remember to consider the worst case scenarios- loss of job or whatever that may be for you and your DH.
Good luck in deciding what's best for your family - this is a heavy decision for anyone to make.

**FrugalMomof3** · 04-03-2008, 10:04 PM

I think it's great you want to have another child, I am all for it BUT with the recession on it's way (or already here as some may say) I think it would be better if you paid off all debts beforehand.

As for forumla, if you are breastfeeding, I would just suggest pumping as babies that are breastfed need to be fed more often then babies who are bottle fed.

You should apply for WIC whether you decide to bottle fed or breastfed, there are also programs out there that can help with cloth diapers and baby stuff. Good Shepard and food banks have other services besides giving food, so you might want to check that out.

**Darlene** · 04-04-2008, 06:48 AM

I could have worded things nicer in my first reply, for that I apologize.

**TheRootedNomad** · 04-04-2008, 07:19 AM

Even though you plan to breast feed you may want to run the numbers for the more/most expensive brands of formula, (Better over prepared than under)as some babies have a hard time even with formulas and can only use specific ones. Luckily most aren't but I'd run the high-end numbers.

**kaykwilts** · 04-04-2008, 07:46 AM

The cost for the reversal of your husband's vasectomy can be very expensive and it's not always effective. Have you first checked out what the reversal will cost?

**mom23boyz** · 04-04-2008, 11:22 AM

Originally Posted by kaykwilts

The cost for the reversal of your husband's vasectomy can be very expensive and it's not always effective. Have you first checked out what the reversal will cost?

Yes I have that information with a highly recommended dr that several nurses at work have and are using. Its a bit costly. All of these things will have to be considered veryyyy carefully.Tahnks all for the input even you Darlene

**Jerseygirl** · 04-04-2008, 01:52 PM

I found that since Emily just turned one, I spent approx. $4,500 on her this year(not including day care costs, that would add another $10,000). My entire maternity leave was covered by sick and vacation days that I have been saving so there was no loss there.This is formula (she was breast exclusive for 8 weeks, but I had to rent a pump because she would not latch, then needed to suppliment as I didn't make enough for the hungry pup) formula with checks/coupons etc. baby food from 4-8 mos then she started on table food almost exclusively, $25 copay each month for ped visits, copay on meds (2 times with colds) disposable diapers all with coupons, some basics like socks and shoes, creams, etc. but I had huge baby showers and have lots of clothes stored so it does not include any real clothes purchases or furniture/blankets/sheets/toys etc.Also, her insurance is part of dh's package at work so currently that isn't any extra.
It is an expensive undertaking,thankfully she is a low maintainance kid, but there have been a lot of unexpected things, like the nebulizer the insurance refused to cover - a dr visit, nebulizer and 3 med copays in one day was a $200 day when I was still on maternity leave. Remember those days when you make your decision.
Have you considered foster care? It might help with the desire to Mommy the little ones, with all of the costs covered while providing a really needed home for a baby who needs.
Best wishes.

**MOMMYDEAREST** · 04-04-2008, 01:55 PM

Have you talked to the dr about the reversal? My husband and I thought about having it done, but the specialist told us......each year that passes after the vesectomy, your chances of becoming pregnant drop 10% by each year that passes. didn't you say your youngest was 11? And vesectomies are not convered by insurance. Good luck & best wishes!!