You Know You're A Prepper If....

[pollypurebred39]

Some of these are so funny! Add to it if want.

You have a cookbook all about Spam.

Your dog has more Emergency Rations than 95% of the U.S. population.

The local supermarket manager knows to go ahead and open up the back dock doors when he sees you on a shopping trip.

Your home and property are more secure and better lit than Fort Knox or Area 51.

All the local restaurants know to save you all their 5-gallon buckets on Mondays and Thursdays.

You welcome a “mild” El Nino storm because you know its going to fill your cistern.

When people ask about all those colorful maps on your walls, you tell them that you are planning a “Fishing Expedition”.

You can recognize the sound of a generator from four blocks away, but you also can tell the brand, horsepower and kilowatts per hour that it is putting out.

You stock up on kerosene and firewood in 102 degree summer heat.

Your scanner includes the frequencies of every law enforcement agency within 100 miles, including the ones that don’t officially exist.

Those maps on your wall have every bridge marked in red, with an alternate path marked around it.

You have a key fob that says, “What Would John Wayne Do?”

You can’t put your groceries in the trunk of the car because its already jammed full with emergency kits, first aid supplies, and fully-stocked BOBs.

You know the news three days before it hits the mass media.

You have back-up plans for your back-up plans.

You’ve ever bought antibiotics for human use through a vet or grains for human consumption through a feed store.

You’ve got more than one grain mill.

You’ve ever wondered how you might filter the used water from your washing machine to make it fit for human consumption.

You have a kerosene lamp in every room.

Your living room coffee table is actually a board with pretty cloth over it to disguise your food storage underneath.
Your box springs are Rubber Maid containers filled with rice and beans.

You save dryer lint to make fire starters.

You know the shelf life of tuna fish, but don’t know how long you’ve had that open jar of mayo in the fridge.

Your basement walls are insulated with crates of toilet paper, from floor to ceiling, all the way around.

Other people are saving money for new furniture or vacations, but you are desperately saving to get solar panels put on your house.

You were excited beyond all reason when they came out with cheddar cheese in a can.

You can engage in a spirited debate on chemical vs. sawdust toilets for hours on end.

You’ve ever considered buying an above-ground pool for water storage purposes.

You know what things like ‘TSHTF’, ‘BOB’, ‘GOOD’, and ‘TEOTWAWKI’ mean and routinely use them in conversations.

You have different grades of BOB’s. And re-stock them twice a year.


You know the names, family histories, locations, and degree of readiness of over a thousand fellow doomers on the internet, but you’ve never met your neighbors.

The best radio in the house is a wind-up.

You have better items in storage than you use everyday.

If the SHTF, you would eat better than you eat now.

Your significant other gave you a sleeping bag rated at -15 degrees for Christmas, and you were moved beyond words.

You’ve sewn secret mini-BOBs into the bottom of your children’s school backpacks.

Local food pantries have come to depend on donations from your larder when you rotate stock in the spring and fall.

You have enough army surplus equipment to open a store.

The local army surplus store owner knows you by your first name.

When you fill up when your gas tank, it’s already 3/4 full.

You call Rubber Maid for wholesale prices.

You have several cases of baby wipes and your kids are all grown.

You start panicking when you are down to 50 rolls of toilet paper.

You keep a small notebook to write down any edible plants you happen to see along the road.

You shop yard sales, store sales, and markdown racks for bartering goods .

You own a hand-operated clothes washer and a non-electric carpet sweeper.

You have at least two of every size of Dutch oven (the ones with the legs on the bottom), and 20 bags of charcoal, although you have a gas grill.

You have rain barrels at each corner of your house although you have a city water hookup, and a Big Berkey to purify the water.

You have sapphire lights, survival whistle, and a Swiss Army knife on every family member’s keychain.

The people in line at Costco ask if you run a store or restaurant.

You require a shovel to rotate all your preps properly.

You no longer go to the doctor’s because you can either fix it yourself, make it at home, or know and understand the physicians desk reference better than he does, and can get the goods at the vets or pet store for MUCH less money anyway.

You know that GPS has nothing to do with the economy.

You track your preps on a computer spreadsheet for easy reordering, but have hard copies in a 3-ring binder, ‘just in case’.

You’ve thought about where the hordes can be stopped before entering town.

You start evaluating people according to ‘skill sets’.

You view the nearest conservation area as a potential grocery store if TSHTF.

You have enough pasta stockpiled in your basement to carbo-load all the runners in the New York marathon.

You know that you have 36 gallons of extra drinking water in the hot water tank and your 2 toilet tanks.

You know which bugs are edible.

You have a hand pump on your well.

You have #10 cans of ‘stuff’ that the labels fell off of, but you won’t throw it out or open it because it, ‘may be needed later’, even though you haven’t a clue as to the contents.


You’ve numbered the deer romping in the yard by their order of consumption.


You must move 50 cases of food for the plumber to get to that leaky pipe, and you have your own hand truck in the basement to do it.


You own more pairs of hiking boots than casual and dress shoes combined.


You have more 55 gallon blue water drums than family members.

You have a backup generator for your backup generator, which is a backup for your solar energy system.

You go to McDonalds and ask for one order of fries with 25 packs of ketchup and mustard.

You have ever given SPAM as a serious gift.

You’ve made bug-out cargo packs for your dogs.

You’re on your fifth vacuum sealer, but you keep at least one of the worn out ones because you can still seal up plastic bags with it.

You haven’t bought dried fruit in years, but you buy fresh bananas, apples, peaches and pears by the case and have three dehydrators.


You have duplicates of all your electronics gear, solar panels and generator parts in your EMP-shielded fallout shelter.

You have set aside space for your live chickens in the fallout shelter.

When the power goes out in your neighborhood, all the neighbor’s kids come over to your place to watch TV on generator power.

You must open the door to your pantry very carefully for fear of a canned goods avalanche.

You’ve learned to make twine from plant fibers to be used for snares because you fear that all of your preps and hard work will be confiscated by FEMA troops or destroyed by earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear blasts, ravening hordes of feral sheeple or reptiloids from ‘Planet X’

[Daisygirl]

I love this!!! Here are some from our neck of the woods:

You choose your home based on "ease of defense".

Your kids would never dream of throwing away a 2 liter pop bottle because you save them and fill them with drinking water.

You know precisely how long your stored food would last for your family because your spreadsheet tells you this.

You can quickly calculate how many servings of milk can be made from the econo size bag of dry milk.

You have the ability to make a loaf of bread from scratch on a charcoal barbecue.

[gmarie]

I mostly have no idea what you are talking about, but I am intrigued. DH and I could survive for a few weeks with the "supplies" we have on hand. Interesting post!

[joyofsix]

Your bedside table is a giant box of tp with a tablecloth thrown over it. Just sayin'

[HappyMama]

Ahem.....might have picked a few of these sayings up over the years not that I am a prepper...LOL My family was in hysterics with this by the way.

Oh and tip....you never leave your exit plans on the wall for eyes to see you put in your BOB....um.... ahem....I mean not that I am a prepper or anything......LOL


you save any plastic bag that makes its way into your home

you're the person buying empy 6 gallon paint cans and gas cans at the yard sale

the people at Goodwill know you by name

you know how to darn a sock...and do

you swoon when your birthday gift from DH is a hand cranked (fill in the blank)

your neighbors wonder what the heck you do with all the citrus you've gotten permission to pluck from their trees

you live in a city, but have more than 5 rain barrels...hooked together...with a hidden pipe into your house.

you didn't say 'huh?" at the original title of this post!

you eat your daylilles for supper!

you look forward to the power going out to see how your plans are working!

you enjoy a trip to the outhouse!

you would rather eat home-cooked than fast food!

you know where your food comes from!

you can care-a-less about the latest egg recall cause your eggs came from the henhouse!

you ask the neighbors for their horse manure!

the local walmart thinks you're making moonshine with all that sugar you're buying!

you don't have to go to the store every day to pick up something for dinner!

the items on your Christmas wish list come from Lehmans!

Your son sends out text msgs to all your friends and neighbors telling them that if they see your truck heading down the road at a high rate of speed, to WATCH OUT because "mom's on a misson for Mason Jars at the estate auction, and you better NOT get in her way"!

You only buy usable or fixable "antiques", and actually DO use them on a daily or weekly basis.

You buy a second wringer washer as a backup to the first wringer washer that is a back up to your modern day washer.

People ask what you want for Christmas, and you tell them mason jars, more heavy aprons, another darning egg, or another dairy cow in milk, or milk shares at the local farm

You have a treadle sewing machine as a back up for your other THREE back up sewing machines which are back ups for your first sewing machine.

You have something drying/canning/pickling/jellying almost every day of the week.

You buy winter clothes/blankets used on EBay in June and July, and gardening supplies and incubator parts in January.

I'll probably think of some more to add later on. Great thread!!!

[NikoSan999]

I love it! These are so cool!

[momof42003]

Too funny and mostly too true!! Thanks for sharing...

[wanderlusting]

Awesome list! Daisygirl- I'm curious about your recipe for bread made on a grill!

[joyofsix]

I've never thought I was a prep per but....

[pollypurebred39]

LOL, me either.

All of your "you know you're a prepper if" are so funny! It's like some kind of secret sisterhood going on here.

[IndigoMom]

What about if your kids really don't understand why your neighbors find it strange they're picking dandelion blossoms "at their age" when it's so obvious to them they're to be frittered or turned into jelly.<-- happened to my kids. They were shocked everyone doesn't eat them, lol.

[Ramona]

pollypurebred39,

You, ma'am, are a stone cold riot!

[Ramona]

HappyMama,

You are also my hero(ine) .

[jas]

Great thread! I wish I had all of them down!

[Luckybustert]

You have a cookbook all about Spam.

And we have the cases of Spam to go with it!