Frugal or Tacky?

**itsahumanzoo** · 06-19-2008, 04:43 PM

I need to get a wedding gift for my cousin's wedding. Now, I'm already paying around $150 for gas round trip to get there, $60 for a night in a Motel6, and food and drink for us on the way there and back and while we're not at the wedding. (I'm packing food though, no fast food!) Taking all that into consideration and my bank is already broke!

Now I have to get this guy a gift too?!?!?!

They're not registered at Bed Bath and Beyond, but I was thinking of looking up their registry elsewhere, picking something out and going down to BB&B and buying it with a 20% off coupon. I'll just leave the gift receipt out, they can return it without a receipt there anyway.

Is that tacky to use a coupon? I just can't spend that much!

*EDIT* Pretty much everything on the registry is purchased except for things I can't afford! UGH

I found a $60 toaster that they want. After discount and tax it comes to $51...I was thinking $40 max.

**rsbs** · 06-19-2008, 04:46 PM

How can getting more for your money be tacky?
Gifts are GIFTS, not something anyone should look down their nose at, in my opinion.
I say frugal, for sure!

**earthymom** · 06-19-2008, 04:47 PM

Using a coupon is not tacky. When you leave the receipt though, make sure it is a "gift receipt" so it doesn't show the price or the discount.

**Kitten20** · 06-19-2008, 04:49 PM

Go for it, imo. I don't think it is tacky at all.

**Michelle** · 06-19-2008, 04:49 PM

Definitely not tacky to use a coupon. Heck, I do it all the time.

**Momto2Boyz** · 06-19-2008, 04:51 PM

I think the general rule is...when the registry is almost empty...you can shop anywhere for whatever you like. They already have the things on their registry that they wanted, so now you can use your creativity and find something else.

Rsbs is right, a gift is a gift. I'm sure they'll love no matter what you get for them!

**itsahumanzoo** · 06-19-2008, 04:54 PM

That hardest thing is that I haven't seen my cousin in about 10 years. I don't ever talk to him and I have never met his wife-to-be so I have no idea what to get them in my budget range.

I almost just want to get them a $25 gift card to one of the places they're registered at and stick it in a card! I just can't afford a $50 gift!

**champagnium** · 06-19-2008, 04:56 PM

I'd say get something else, somewhere else so you're under the budget you planned. I don't think anyone makes a registry expecting that everyone MUST ONLY purchase gifts off of it. Registries just try to help stop duplication...so you don't end up like me last month..the proud owner of 5, yepper, FIVE fondue sets

Get something meaningful...it doesn't matter how much it is.

**stinkbug** · 06-19-2008, 05:03 PM

One of my favorite wedding gifts we received was a nice 8 X 10 frame that was engraved with our wedding date and names. We didn't register anywhere, but 13 years later, this frame with our wedding photo is still on our dresser. This was from friends of my dh that I had never even met...and I don't think it was overly expessive.

**jettsmom** · 06-19-2008, 05:08 PM

I use the coupons all the time for gifts. The cheaper I can get it, the better. If it's on their registry, they don't need a receipt to return it.

**chevy_chick95** · 06-19-2008, 05:09 PM

i don't think its tacky. i think wedding gifts are rude to ask for anyway. the bride and groom are expecting to much with presents (money wise)

**Dancing Lotus** · 06-19-2008, 05:21 PM

I got a friend a 20 dollar gift and they loved it. Things remembered has a silver wedding certificate holder that you can have engraved. My total cost was 20 and I know they really liked it because they make a point of telling me how nice it was that it was something personal.

**acidcookie** · 06-19-2008, 05:25 PM

Not tacky at all! How would they know? And why would you not save the money you can! But I think you could also go with something else in your budget. I know the feeling. I spend something like $500 to fly to Miami and stay in the wedding hotel to play the music for a friend's ceremony. Frankly, I didn't also buy them a gift. I think my effort in practicing and performing their ceremony music was gift enough!

**FrugalWitch** · 06-19-2008, 05:31 PM

Ummm, if you haven't seen him in 10 years why waste money going to the wedding? It would be much more frugal to buy the gift and just mail it.

You are much nicer than me. If there's been a multi-year gap all I send is a card. But that's just me and my personal aversion to feeling shaken down for "obligatory" gifts.

But, no it's not tacky to use a coupon. It is tacky to expect gifts from people you have minimal contact with. Heck, I'll go out on a limb and say it's tacky to expect gifts at all. Gifts should be a nice, but not obligatory extra.

**mbell0817** · 06-19-2008, 05:42 PM

I personally wouldn't attempt a trip for a wedding of someone I haven't seen in years. I'm too lazy and cheap.

So, I think you're being a great cousin by just showing up! But to answer your question, I don't think it's tacky to use a coupon. That's the only reason I ever use the 20% coupon for BB&B.

I also think a $25 gift card is great and a very appropriate amt. I received a lot of those at our wedding 3 yrs ago. (You could try a gift card for Target or something - they can use it on anything, including food, lol)

Also, I distinctly remember a lot of our friends not getting us anything, especially since they had to travel far to get there. I never thought twice about it - I was just happy they could make it!