What in the heck are they thinking ? Some people are just plain rude.

**KC43099** · 07-26-2008, 09:19 PM

Ok I am going to vent here. When I was growing up my mother really empahsized watching what you say. Thanks so much Mom !

However it seems that lately people have been saying to me and asking me such rude things. It is unbelievable ? What ever happened to the basics like: "Think about what you are going to say before you say it." Also, "Treat others the way you want to be treated."

For example, I am dealing with breast cancer. I have a friend who calls me and lets me know whenever someone has died. It doesn't matter if I know the person or not. I had to tell her finally that she should tell me things like that on a need to know basis. Some people I wonder what in the heck are they thinking ?

Also, especially when I was first diagnosed, people would proceed to tell me everyone in their family who had died of cancer. Like I really need to know that. Again I ask what the heck are they thinking ?

This is simple stuff here. When someone is going through what I am dealing with, the last thing they want to hear is about someone dying. Although my faith is really strong, I am still human. In the back of my mind the thought of the"D" word lingers from time to time. That is the last thing I want to hear come out of someones mouth. I would rather thay not say a word to me at all iinstead of the "D" word. You could not pay me to say that to a person with cancer. Talk about "Stuck on stupid and sliding on silly."

I even had a person to ask me if I was still having my period. Mind you this person is not my doctor. Things like that are personal and I would never ask someone a thing like that unless they bought it up first.

Maybe I need to refrain from talking on the phone excpet for a select few people like my Mom who knows how to treat others. My Mom is such a sweet and classy lady, and she always knows what to say and when to say nothing at all.

Here is the straw that broke the camels back ! I have a child with autism, and one day another so called friend called me and told me some ugly things her mother said about my child. I was so hurt !!!They both know what my family is going through. She and her mother know our situation. My daughter's speech is limited , but she is working really hard and making progress. She did not ask for this to be. For someone to have the nerve to talk about my precious child. I was in such shock, I couldn't believe her mom said such things, and I also was in shock that she was telling me this. After a few choice words, I literally got sick. A person can talk about me all day, but don't mess with my baby !!!!! I love my daughter so much !!!!!!!!

I am trying to deal with this in a Christian manner. I know that I have to talk to people, but they say such idiotic things. As I stated earlier, we(people) really need to get back to the basics that we were taught as children. What ever happened to the golden rules ? Again, "What the heck are they thinking?"

**jamie79** · 07-26-2008, 09:36 PM

First I want to say how sorry I am that you have cancer.
People are unbelievable. For someone to ask if your still having your period is just shocking to me. I know you said your Christian but I couldnt keep myself from letting them have it with both barrells.

**Jamauk** · 07-26-2008, 09:38 PM

I agree that as a society we've adopted the attitude that "anything goes"

I am raising my children with good ole fashioned, traditional manners. My boys open doors for girls (they are 5 & 3), the 5 year old is learning to offer me his arm when we walk down the street, he recognizes that Daddy always walks on the outside of the sidewalk when we take walks and he's learning (quickly)

that if you can't say something nice you are expected to keep your mouth shut!

**dcompton** · 07-26-2008, 09:46 PM

They weren't thinking at all. Or, on the cancer front, perhaps are just clumsily (very clumsily) trying to connect with you. But there is never an excuse for such hurtful behavior. People who have not been through what you have will never really understand. People react in different ways -- when I was in chemo hearing of other deaths did not bother me. But we can never assume that one person's reaction is the same for all. We all need to be sensitive to the individual we're speaking with and try to know where the boundaries are and stay away from the painful areas. I hope your friends will come to a better understanding of your needs and be more of a support than a source of pain.

**Jskell911** · 07-26-2008, 10:01 PM

I am so sorry that these people you are dealing with are so completely clueless! Where has tact gone? Geez.... And I can so appreciate how you felt hearing that about your child. People really need to keep their mouths closed if all they are going to do is insert their own foot on the way of making others feel like garbage.

**baxjul** · 07-26-2008, 10:13 PM

I completely understand. I went through breast cancer, and it is amazing what people say. My favorite was, when I was bald from the chemo, people would always say rude things.

Good luck, and God Bless!

**cissylu** · 07-26-2008, 11:26 PM

so sorry this is happening! and your friend hello watch what you say.

**DJ1972** · 07-26-2008, 11:28 PM

That's the whole problem, people don't think before they speak. Not trying to over-step any boundaries, but wanted to recommend a book to you.[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Uplift-Secrets-Sisterhood-Breast-Survivors/dp/0743431375/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217129137&sr=8-4"]Amazon.com: Uplift : Secrets from the Sisterhood of Breast Cancer Survivors: Barbara Delinsky: Books[/ame]

**KC43099** · 07-27-2008, 02:50 AM

Thank you so much. I did let her have it and I think it was three barrells. HEE HEE HEE !!!!!

**KC43099** · 07-27-2008, 02:51 AM

Thank you ! What a sweetie you are !

**KC43099** · 07-27-2008, 02:57 AM

Originally Posted by baxjul

I completely understand. I went through breast cancer, and it is amazing what people say. My favorite was, when I was bald from the chemo, people would always say rude things.

Good luck, and God Bless!

I am sorry you went through the same thing, but I am glad that you are ok. Wow people would actually say something like that to you ! "ARE YOU KIDDING ME !!! "OMG !!!!"

**KC43099** · 07-27-2008, 02:59 AM

Originally Posted by cissylu

so sorry this is happening! and your friend hello watch what you say.

Thanks ! I know right !!!!

**KC43099** · 07-27-2008, 03:02 AM

Originally Posted by Jskell911

I am so sorry that these people you are dealing with are so completely clueless! Where has tact gone? Geez.... And I can so appreciate how you felt hearing that about your child. People really need to keep their mouths closed if all they are going to do is insert their own foot on the way of making others feel like garbage.

Thank you so much for understanding. I love your ribbon !!!!

**KC43099** · 07-27-2008, 03:10 AM

Originally Posted by jamie79

First I want to say how sorry I am that you have cancer.
People are unbelievable. For someone to ask if your still having your period is just shocking to me. I know you said your Christian but I couldnt keep myself from letting them have it with both barrells.

Thanks so much ! I did let her have it with three barrells" HEE ! HEE !

**KC43099** · 07-27-2008, 03:13 AM

Originally Posted by Jamauk

I agree that as a society we've adopted the attitude that "anything goes"

I am raising my children with good ole fashioned, traditional manners. My boys open doors for girls (they are 5 & 3), the 5 year old is learning to offer me his arm when we walk down the street, he recognizes that Daddy always walks on the outside of the sidewalk when we take walks and he's learning (quickly)

that if you can't say something nice you are expected to keep your mouth shut!

You really take the time to teach your boys how to be gentlemen. Home is where it starts. What jewels they are going to be to their wives some day !!! "You go MOMMY"