Have you had to educate others about your frugal choices?

[MomK]

My question is whether those of us who are choosing to live frugally feel that they have to educate others?

I find myself explaining to others, for example, that going out to eat lunch with them is not in my budget.

On the other hand, I have wonderful friends who understand me and my choices, and we get the biggest kick out of comparing our thrift store finds!

What's your experience??

[The Muse]

If someone asks for tips, I'll gladly share them, but much like politics and religion, I don't preach frugality unless someone asks. I think a lot of people might find it off putting.

If I'm invited to lunch and it's not in my budget, I just say, "no thank you, I've brought lunch" and leave it at that.

[NotYet]

Sort of... I tend to over explain why I can't go out with friends or explain that yes, a dollar movie and 'value menu' Taco Bell is to a real date! LOL And I do brag when I find stuff on the cheap.But I don't beat anyone over the head with it but my partner... But, thankfully, he's tight with the purse strings too so he 'gets' it.

[MisaLady]

I generally don't, but then I don't say "I can't afford it" because most of my friends would feel obligated (or maybe just want to) to pick up the tab for me. That would be so... awkward. But, then again, a lot of my friends are frugal, as well.

[daughter of pearl]

That's a darn good question...I tend to just avoid the topic with friends I know who are spendthrifts...they don't get it, and I don't really need them to...for people who I feel are supportive, I will be a bit more open about it...

Things I have the most difficulty with are the "let's go for a drink after work" crowd...I try to sneak out so they don't catch me...I guess at some point I'll have to "put oon my big girl panties" and deal with them, but right now, it is too much of a temptation...

[Momto2Boyz]

The majority of our friends know that we are frugal and we've "converted" many of them. We don't preach frugality to people, and I try to be nice when I explain things to them. If we have a friend invite us out for dinner and we don't want to spend the money, I just explain that we are saving for something and not spending extra...then I extend an invitation for them to have dinner with us at our house.

I usually try to explain it nicely, then offer a low cost or free alternative...that way we aren't losing any of our friends, sicne we can't go out with them! But as I said...most of our friends are frugal and we rarely are invited out to a restaurant for dinner anymore...usually it is potlucks at friends houses!

[GM97]

I gave my boss a 20% discount coupon from TCP. She used it yesterday and gave me a hug and thanked me several times today because she saved a lot. I frequently mention to my officemates the deal that I got from this store and they are surprise how I got those deals. I told them I don't buy anything that is not on sale and I use coupons all the time. They like listening to my stories and eventually come back and ask me if I have coupons that I'm not using. It doesn't hurt to save

[ladykemma2]

last month i went on a trip to utah with my best friend. we went "halfies" on gas and hotels and everything.

i have been on a tight budget since the divorce. We have been doing inexpensive activities and lunches, which has been good for both of us.

the trip went overbudget and my friend, aware of my financial situation, offered to pay for the overage. I said, thanks, not necessary because i have been able to save 7000 dollars in an emergency fund since the divorce was final, that I was "OK for the trip". I was able to continue to pay my share til we got home.

she got all quiet. she said "how did you do that?" I said "have you heard of the dave ramsey program? ...(told her about it)... I sock away 536 dollars every two weeks and live on the rest".

somewhere along the line during the road trip i was able to put dave on the radio. she liked it. she lives on a twice my salary but paycheck to paycheck with credit card debt.

she is the one i hope to influence towards frugality. she is older than me so i have to tread lightly.

now, i worry because she might think I'm being "cheap" with my choice of inexpensive chinese restaurants and such. now that she knows i sock money away each paycheck.

we are going to can and pickle next week, it would be a good opportunity to have dave's radio archives going while we work. in the background.

[cheapskate 49]

I try and educate folk whenever I can it doesn't bother me if I'm thought of as cheap but if I'm eating out or on a vacation with someone I'll always pay my share, I'm never cheap at anothers expense.

[DonnainME]

If people are interested, I tell them. Most people just way "Wow, I wish I had the time to do that". I tell them they do, they just have to chose to do this.

[Izzy0906]

I have some friends that just don't get it. My single friends with no kids and major major debt. Don't understand why I say no WEEKLY to going to a bar with a cover charge to see her boyfriends band play (I've seen them once already) and get a babysitter in order to do it.

Then I have my frugal close friend. We share tips and are helping each other best we can. She's a new mom and part time flight attendant, her husband switched from one airline to another (losing 2/3's yes 2/3's of his income). They make as much as I do. They are a little better off though since they are not in NJ. But we both compare deals, if see a sale here on something she needs and it's not near her, she sends me money to buy her a stock of it and when she visits (every 2 months, they fly free for lifetime) We exchange what we have collected.

[xtena]

Does my seven year old daughter count?

I was guilty of 'spoiling' her when she was younger, buying too many toys and books and craft kits and things out of guilt because I could only have one child, and because we didn't/don't have kids her age in the neighborhood, and she wasn't in daycare and didn't 'click' with any kids in kindergarten so she didn't have many 'friends' until this year.

But money and things don't equal happiness, and now we seek happiness in non-material ways, or at least we try, but it is an adjustment for her. Sometimes I feel guilty denying her things we can well afford. The latest example is a $20 school yearbook - she's in year around school which ends Friday and the yearbook 'party' is this afternoon and she can't go without a yearback but apparently most kids in her class have them. Grrr. I HATE how schools have taken a rite of passage for graduating seniors and pimped it down to the level of elementary school, just to earn a few bucks, and the poor kids, and 'frugal' kids whose parents didn't spring for a book are made to feel 'punished' and 'left out'.

I almost caved in and bought one, but they had actually run out, so I guess she can use that as an excuse rather than the fact that her tightwad mother didn't want to spend the money on something that would literally start gathering dust on her bookshelf tomorrow. We talked about it, and how we could save the money to buy something nicer (but we didn't specify what) and I also talked about how some kids in her school are having to move from their homes because their parents can't afford to pay for their houses, but it's hard for a seven year old to understand foreclosure, debt and bad choices and that you shouldn't alway buy something just because you want it and think everyone else has it.

Sigh.

[Jellybeanz]

Nah, nobody cares. They say "hey, lets do such and such" I say no i can't do it because I'm watching my spending. Then its inevitable a few will not understand, or think I just don't want to, or offer to pay. I decline, and that's that.

I truly feel like if someone wanted to know they'd ask or bring up frugality to me in some form, but to date, in real life, nobody has except perhaps to complain they are broke and can't pay rent then next thing I know they are out eating at the Mexican restaurant, downing margueritas ! LOL

I don't even TRY.I used to when someone would complain after blowing their money but it never worked sooo.. these days, I figure our thinking must be so far apart it wouldn't even make sense to them. But I truly do find it hard to hear of someone's hardships so I just send a silent wish they'll get a lightbulb moment one day and learn to plan ahead beyond today needs.

[Starlight9803]

I usually don't explain myself, but every once in awhile someone (usually a family member) will make a comment on why I don't go out to eat often, don't buy myself new clothes all the time, etc and I do say that we are trying to save up money and pay off debt. Usually that is all that is needed, though I have noticed that sometimes people actually seem MAD that I don't spend money willy-nilly like they may do. It's strange, but maybe they figure if I was doing it, it "excuses" them doing it? I don't know.

[LeeCee]

I have a friend who is always asking me for tips on saving money. she can't believe how much money I save.Then she goes ahead and spends alot of money on things she does'nt have to.It's very aggravating and I will not be bothered trying to help her anymore.