What do I keep?

[Jilly50]

My father passed away a few weeks ago at age 78. My mother died in 2005. We have been blessed to have quickly sold the old house but we are in the process of cleaning it out. How does one sort through 50 years of family and home? What do you keep and what do you toss? For me, its mostly pictures. Its really hard and I'm sad. Thanks and blessings to all!

[kittykatstrong]

My grandpa passed away last year and it was hard clearing the house out. We keep mostly pictures and a few other things. But I kept a part of the carpet. It had a bunch of diff. sized squares and my sister and I would take old bottle caps from beers and line them up to make rooms for our dolls. Everytime I look at that reminder it brings back the house, the room, the fun we had as little girls. It sounds silly but that is all I really wanted to keep.

[jdr250]

When my father passed away last year, we kept all of the pictures and his cassettes (he was a professional singer) and I took a beautiful mask wall hanging. I may have liked to take a few other things as momento's but my brother went into the house and stole all of his electronics and jewelry but that is a completely different story. But I will say Charma is a bit*h because 4 weeks later his house burned to the ground so I guess when you're in a red cross shelter you don't need all those electronics.
When my aunt who raised me passed away, I took a bunch of her country decor and decorated my bathroom with it now everytime I walk into my bathroom I can look at all the stuff and smile. Oh and we each took one of her shirts, they still smelled like her.
I'm sorry for your loss.

[Darlene]

I'm sorry you lost your Dad. :hug:
Save the sentimental stuff and see if what you have left could be of benefit to salvation army, homeless shelters etc. Knowing that it all found a good home will help lesson the hurt.
Take good care.

[McD]

I'm sorry for your loss Jilly. I've never been in your position and I can't imagine how hard it must be.

If it were me, I would start one room at a time. Start out in the room without a lot of sentimental things, like the kitchen or the bathroom. Take things that you won't use (like towels or dishes and silverware) to Goodwill or Salvation Army so that your father's things will continue helping others.

I wouldn't get rid of any pictures of anything like that right now. You are still grieving and you don't want to get rid of anything that you might kick yourself over later.

Do you have kids? If so, you could keep something special for them of their grampas.

Anyway, I hope you get through this okay.

[AmyBoz]

I think you've gotten a lot of great advice here. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

[Dancing Lotus]

My husband has a wooden box that contains some things that belonged to his Dad. It's got his glasses, a hat and some other odds and ends. He also has a small Buddha statue that his Dad used to rub the belly on. It's tiny but that's probably the thing he treasures the most. That's all he felt he needed. It think it 's best to just keep a few things that really mean something.
I'm sorry for your loss.

[perSue]

Really it's up to you.
pictures are a great place to start.
is there antique furniture in the family? if you dont want it, get it appraised & sell for the right price (in honour of your family).
any knicknacks you remember seeing/having as a child that bring warm memories... a couple specific ones??
Drawings, handmade items, homemade items that speak to you?

Do you have siblings? They could help, if so.

Were there handwritten recipes? I'd keep those.
Maybe a few letters that have special info (ie, wedding announcments).
If there's a favourite "thing" (appliance, knicknack, whatever), keep it as "art" for around the house... an example is an old butter churn - we dont use it, but it's beautiful and has been in our family for generations!

It's a hard thing to do. So take your time so you feel like you were able to make the right decision for everything.

Don't forget, charity shops will take some used things as well (many give tax write off's for you as well).

Good luck & take your time.

[FrugalMomof3]

I am sorry for your loss but I would keep pictures and other things that are sentimental to you. This could mean a blanket/quilts or even a knick knack.

[Patty A]

I know how hard this is, I lost my mom in 1984 and my dad the following year in 1985. It is hard to go though a life time of memories, and deciding what to keep and what has to go isn't easy. Just remember, keep the things that seem to "speak" a memory to you. And be sure you save for your children. I would even ask them (if they are old enough) what they would like to keep as a memory of your dad. It is surprising what the kids really feel a connection too, and its nice that they get to keep the things that are special to them.
Please know you are in my thoughts, I know how hard this is going to be for you. Take your time, and if in doubt keep it. You can always give it away later on but you can't get it back if you have already given it away.
So sorry for you loss!

[MysticEagle]

You've gotten wonderful advice so I would just like to add my sympathies for your loss.

[Natalie]

I have an afghan that my grandmother (dad's mom) crocheted. It's got peachy/salmon panels, put together with white. No one else wanted it, and I said I liked it, so I've got it. I've also got her china. Mom & Dad have my grandfather's (mom's dad) coat rack/stand that he made, and also the shoe stretcher thing he invented (this thing stretches not just left and right at the ball of the foot, but also from ball to toe).

There maybe some things you'll never really use (Mom never uses the milk can that her dad would always kick -- there's a story there), but it decorates the stairs, holding some artificial sunflowers in the bend of the stair.

Okay, here's the story:

Grandpa would always bring in a milk can of milk for Grandma to use/put away after he'd milked the cows. He'd bring that can in, then go right back out. Later, he'd come in and tap ("kick") the can to see if she'd emptied it yet. We'd tell Grandpa that he "kicked the bucket" every day.

There's stories in things, and maybe some little thing will eventually just bring little smiles and memories every time you see it. (((Hugs)))

[Contrary Housewife]

When my FIL passed away a few years ago we had to do the same thing. My BIL has recently divorced, so he came and took the furniture and household goods he wanted since he had pretty much nothing at the time. Most of the remaining we took to the Salvation Army.

What we kept were the personal momentoes from his life, his military stuff, family bible, photos, etc. There were a few nice pieces of furniture, not antiques, but things we could use in our own home that we kept. The rest was ordinary and not our style and we had a big yard sale later.

A lot of the small knick-nacks and such I just boxed up and stuck in the garage. If it is too much to deal with you might try this. My husband has gone through a few of them recently (it's been 3 years) and decided what to keep and what to take to the charity shop. It was just too emotional at the time, trying to decide, along with all the work we had to do to clear his apt and his estate paperwork.

[Laurie in Bradenton]

As you are asking this question I am remaking drawers full of costume jewlery from my grandmother into Christmas Ornaments for my sisters, son and neieces.
She collected tons of the stuff from yard sales, tag sales and rummage sales. When she pasted in April we had 2 dresser drawers full. I took it home in a garbage bag unsure of what to do with it at that time then saw the magazine article and have gone from there. My ponit is if your not sure what to do with something right now take it home and stick it in a corner of the attic or basement for a few monthes.
Like many other I took home piles of photo albums. We all got together over a weekend and did nothing but page throught these. Each person taking photos that ment something to them. The rest I am scanning to our family history page at Ancestry.com. Had a distance cousin come out of the woodwork and thank me for a picture of his mom who is long gone that he'd never seen.
Along with your close memories watch for those items that speak to you of long gone relatives. My great grandmother was a lacemaker and there are a few lace dolies that my gandmother kept of hers. I now have them on my bookcase.
My biggest piece of advise is don't act in haste to be rid of something you may want next week. Take your time even if it means moving things.

Laurie in Bradenton

[Pemberleyan]

I am so sorry about your loss. I think you've gotten some great advice, so I'll just say take one day at a time and don't discard things in haste.