When does frugal living

**Patty A** · 12-12-2008, 10:26 AM

change to becoming a cheap a$$?

I have had a couple people ask me the last while what the difference between being frugal and being cheap was? I found the question to be stupid as I don't see that being frugal and being cheap the same at all!

I see being frugal as a way to help my family and I have "more", peace of mind, contentment, fun, and as a game somewhat to see where we can really save.
On the other hand, I see being cheap as a that hurts others in one way or another.

Example, being frugal is saving money on the food bill.
Being cheap is like going out to eat, complain after you have eaten the meal just to get your money back.

I hope this makes sense, but I wonder where frugal ends and cheap begins?

**MamaTreadler** · 12-12-2008, 11:07 AM

I think this will be something that changes from house to house because we all have different needs. Someone may look at my frugal ways and because their perspective is coming from a different mindset they could interperet it as being cheap. When in reality they don't know about say, a medical bill that needs paying or my husband's gas money being more than most people's because of his job, etc. All they see is the frugal mindset and lifestyle and they call it being cheap. But in reality if I adhered to their way of spending, our necessities would not be taken care of.

Did I make any sense? Don't think that came out too clearly...

**fixer** · 12-12-2008, 11:19 AM

I think it comes down to state of mind. Being frugal gives you a sense of well- being, security and happiness with where you are. On the other hand, most cheap people I know are not very happy at all. They seem to think every is out to cheat them and are dissatisfied with their life. From the outside it may look the same,the difference is on the inside.

**rainbowgc** · 12-12-2008, 11:25 AM

My own interpetation is:
Frugal: using money wisely to provide for yourself and family
Cheap: imposing on others, to save money i.e. stiffing the waitress, borrowing and not paying back, a sense of entitlement based on family or personal needs

**frugal.lass** · 12-12-2008, 11:47 AM

I think part of the problem lies with our consumerist society. Most of our society is brainwashed into thinking we always need the newest of everything and that spending money equals being happy. That same brainwashing tells them that NOT spending money is bad. Unfortunately, very few people analyze how much they've bought into that mindset so when they see people being frugal, they only see it in a negative light.

I don't think anyone who has ever questioned me is trying to be insulting unless its because they themselves are in trouble and are getting defensive. They really just do NOT understand frugality. A slightly insulting analogy (but the best one I can come up with at the moment) would be to think of toddlers...if they want something, they want it now, they can't differentiate between needs and wants and get frustrated quickly with something that doesn't satisfy them immediately. You would never say a toddler was stupid for acting that way, you would understand that they are just exhibiting typical behaviour that will change as they mature. Unfortunately, most of our society has yet to mature (and shows little desire to).

**happydog** · 12-12-2008, 11:57 AM

In terms of money management, I equate "being cheap" with being a Scrooge-like miser. When hoarding money becomes the entire focus, rather than a tool to reach a larger goal, and when other people suffer because of it, that's what I call being cheap.

Conversely, to me, being frugal implies making wise choices to maximize resources. You can still be very generous, but careful with your money. The gift of volunteering and time spent with someone can be far more precious than gifts that money can buy.

**PaulaMM** · 12-12-2008, 12:13 PM

Frugal is using/not using money to it's best advantage for the benefit of yourself, your family and enviroment. Cheap is hoarding money, no matter the cost or consequences.

When I think of cheap, I always think of gift giving. You can give a well thought out gift, and it not cost a dime and be considered frugal. If you go to the dollar store, buy something to give because it's inexpensive, without considering it's worth to the recipient, it's cheap.

**justpeachy92** · 12-12-2008, 12:48 PM

I agree that being frugal is a mindset, it is one choosing to to make wise choices as to how they spend their money. I don't agree with the idea of a cheap person being one that hoards money, as I can think of several people I know personally that don't have money to hoard. Though these people make choices that doesn't just effect them, but society as a whole.I know a person who is proud that she never buys straws, napkins, condiments, plasticware, and other such items. She doesn't buy these because she will go into fastfood type restaurants and fill her purse up. Causing such businesses to raise their prices.

**Greebo** · 12-12-2008, 01:50 PM

Frugal: Not giving xmas gifts to every tom dick and harry you know.

Cheap: Not giving them to ME

**UUMomof3** · 12-12-2008, 02:23 PM

Cheap is saving for a rainy day, but when that rainy day comes you still can't let loose of the purse strings because all you can see is the expense.

Frugal is saving for a rainy day, and when that rainy day comes using those savings wisely and enjoying them completely.

Cheap sees the savings, frugal sees the rainy day.

**wanderlusting** · 12-13-2008, 06:15 AM

I see living frugal as saving in some areas to splurge in other areas. Like DH and I don't go out to eat often so we can spend more money on whole foods to cook at home.

Cheap people are willing to put money over people whereas frugal people put relationships above money.

Like Justpeachy said- cheap people go by the motto "If it's free, then it's for me". I've seen people whose DH was and E-7 or E-8 (they get paid VERY decently) and they worked at the commissary for $14/hour and still apply for Christmas assisstance to get toys for their kids and food vouchers.