Do you know how YOUR Family and Friends are doing??

**Thevail** · 02-10-2009, 11:16 PM

In this economic crisis, a lot of older peopel are really suffering.
Do you know that all the family and friends you have are actually as Ok as they say they are?

This seems like a strange question, but today proved to me it's one that maybe we should be asking ourselves.

I have an Uncle who lives on the other side of the state. He's always had a little money, and while he lived frugally he never really had to worry. Which was a good thing as he has very serious diabetes which he has had since he was a kid. So since he had a heart attack a few years ago, he's been living on his investment income. He was doing just fine....

Until all his investments went the way the rest of the market has. Now he has almost no income at all, very expensive medical insurance which he has to pay out of pocket, and can't find a job (who can?).

I only found out about his financial problems because I called today and his phone was disconnected. So I called a cousin to see if he'd lost it or what. Only to be told that his power was also about to be turned off. She couldn't help him either, because she lost her job two months ago.

A nearly sixty year old, heart patient/diabetic with no way to contact help and no heat...

You might want to give your relatives a call and see how everyone is doing.

BTW..his phone is back on now, and tomorrow we'll pay his power bill too, fortunately we've got a bit in savings.

**fixer** · 02-10-2009, 11:46 PM

This is a very good idea. I just saw where a plant was laying off that someone we know with to work for. It is awkward asking if things are okay. We do not keep up with people as well as we should. We need to stay in touch so it is not just when someone gets married, has a child or dies that we are in touch.

**danni** · 02-10-2009, 11:53 PM

All my family is good except my mom. She's not in trouble yet but if things get worse she will need help. She is going to live with my sister for awhile and be a nanny for the kids. It helps them both out then. I would gladly have her live here but just don't have any extra room.

**redeme** · 02-11-2009, 12:05 AM

I've checked in recently with both of my parents. They are doing okay so far. I'm the one right now without an income...so, they call to check up on me.

Other than that, I touch base with my kids and friends to seeing how things are going, work, family life, etc. Since I'm not working I have time to do things I normally wouldn't be able to help with, that can save them some money, too.

**mamamia** · 02-11-2009, 02:56 AM

That is so scary and sad. Ya know, it could be anyone of us anytime. I know you were happy to help him out, and it really was kind of you to do so. No doubt well appreciated too! But it makes me wonder though how many are out there with nobody to turn to.

Some of my family is having it's ups and downs, but holding on, some only by a mere thread. Two of my brothers are still in NYC, both having well paid city jobs and lots of real-estate. They weren't very affected by the housing drop like I was here in FL. So, so far so good. Hope it stays that way, and hoping for better times ahead for your uncle!

Theresa

**Momto2Boyz** · 02-11-2009, 07:09 AM

Have someone in the family help him check with the utility companies. Most of them have "hardship" programs meant for those who have illness and low-income. If he got onto one of these programs, at least they would not shut off his power or gas, if he got behind. Worst they would be able to do is put him on a payment plan! And, here in Illinois, there are programs to assist the elderly, they actually get discounted rates on thier utilities.

Maybe you can help him set some of these things up! Glad to hear that you were at least able to help him out a little.

I know my parents are doing ok. My grandmother, who has always had plenty of money from investments, seems to be doing ok too. From what my mom says, she had everything in the market and took it out a few years ago, and put it into more secure investments (she is 82, so I think she figured better safe than sorry at this point).

**freebs** · 02-11-2009, 07:30 AM

my parents are doing ok, their home is paid for, no car payments and no credit card debt. So they are still floating. Now my inlaws are a different story. Credit card debt out the waazoo and a car payment. Their home is paid for but their gas has been shut off and so has there phone. I wont help them as they did this to themselves. They eat out everday, spend tons of money at sams that is an hour drive each way to get too. They wont see doctors that are any closer tha 2 hrs away so i dont really feel that sorry for them.I have 3 brothers that i havent talked to in over 3 years so i guess i dont really care how they are doing.

**Patty A** · 02-11-2009, 07:38 AM

Thevail, thanks so much for pointing this out. I know a lot of people are really struggling, and we all should be checking on people. Its sad that our older people are suffering this kind of hardship, we need to carefully watch out for them. Many don't have family that live close by, and we should all take responsibility to look out for our family neighbors, and friends that many be struggling. When they say they are fine, peak around a little and make sure they have food, heat, and water. They may be saying things are fine while they are doing without something they really need just so no one will know.
Thanks again, its really important that we check in with the people around us.
Your an awesome family to pull together and help out your uncle. I know you didn't do it for the pat on the back, but it sure would be a better world if we all could help out like you did!

**perSue** · 02-11-2009, 08:13 AM

that's a really good question...
it's so easy to focus on ourselves now... but i havent asked, but with my family, they brag how well they're always doing (compared to me), so i just assume they're doing fine...

but i have asked some friends, and some are doing ok, most are getting by with what they've got and nothing more.

**C@rol** · 02-11-2009, 08:20 AM

This is a wonderful question. Thanks!
I just touched base with all of my family and friends last week. Some I called, some called me asking "How are you? Is everything okay?" and so far none them have been touched to badly by all of this.

My mother you have to really press because she's the type who could be bleeding to death and she'll say "I'm okay, everythings fine" so I have to call my sisters and get the real story. My family lives in another state and they seam to be sticking together and trying to get through all this. We will certainly need each other to get through this very trying time.

And...

to FV!

**lmbaker520** · 02-11-2009, 08:36 AM

I am so glad that you were able to help your family out. I think that it is so important that we look out for each other and help out in any way that we can. I know that my immediate familiy is doing okay at this point. My sister is very open with things and I do my parents accounting so I am aware of where they stand. I am not going to say that they are super comfortable, but they are at least getting by at this point.

If things get really tough for us, I feel that the best way that I will be able to help out my family is through my stockpile. As I have mentioned before, I live alone but I do not just stockpile for myself. I use the extra money to stockpile for my Parents and Sister's family too. I won't be able to really provide a lot of money if needed, but I can at least help out with some food and neccessities.

**CrazyCat** · 02-11-2009, 08:57 AM

Great post~My ideal world is people helping people. I think that's so inportant these days.

In our town...last year we had an older couple that refused all offers of help~wouldn't go to the food bank...or ask for any assistance. this all came out after they found her froze to death in the house...heat had been shut off~~ it was a sad sad thing to happen. I don't know how it could have happened.

The help is available...but some people are too proud to ask for it.

**mombottoo** · 02-11-2009, 09:24 AM

Extended family like my aunts & uncles, no. But, I do know how my kids are doing, my dad, my sisters & their families.

I know what you mean about investments though, we lost over 25% of our investment value last year alone. The kicker is we lost almost 50% of that 25% the last quarter...hopefully the markets will right themselves and we will regain ground before we have to tap that avenue of funds.

**joyofsix** · 02-11-2009, 09:29 AM

My dad is a tough old b****. He is fine. He has VA insurance which is a huge blessing. My brother works for a firm that is ancillary to the auto industry so he and SIL are worried. She works for the post office. My BIL and SIL in MI are the ones we really worry about. He owns his own construction business. With all of MI in the tank no one has money to hire him.

**fernykins** · 02-11-2009, 10:23 AM

Yes I know how most of my family is doing.........They are just hanging on...... There is only one sister that I don't know about and don't really care....... My kids are doing ok........ I have 1 living with me and his family and ddil brother........ I have found you do what you have to do..... To help family and do what you can to help friends and neighbors without putting yourself at risk.......
Fern