Need Help Please!

[deltadawn]

Hi,

I am getting ready to start a major overhaul of my life; losing weight, getting out of debt, starting an ef.

I have been reading this board for days and am amazed at how everyone is so organized and disciplined when it comes to these things.

I get overwhelmed when I try and think of everything I need to do and inturn it stresses me and I eat and spend money. It has turned into a vicious cycle for most of my life.

I am going to be 40 next month and I want change!!

I can handle the weight-loss issue on my own, since, I have been battling that most of my life as well. I just need help with the money situation.

Where do I start? What are the steps after? What has worked for you?

I thank you so much in advance and wish you a very nice day!!

[rachelj]

Dave Ramsey is one that most of us on this board really like and respect. Go to your library and check out his books Total Money Makeover and/or Financial Peace.

Welcome and Good luck!

Take it one step at a time!

[itsahumanzoo]

Write it down! Make a big long list of everything you want to do. Then, go through and for each item, write how long you think would be a reasonable time to get it done. If you give yourself a time line, it will help you not be so overwhelmed.

[lotsadebt]

Take it one step at a time. I first took a good long hard look at my expenses. Find out what is going where. Are you paying for services that you really don't need, could do yourself if you learned. Cut out the unnessasary take that saved money and apply it to a goal. Stop reckless spending first.!

I give myself one bill at a time. Go over your phone/cell bills, cable etc. Could you buy a cheaper plan do the research, is a competator cheaper?

I liked to break it up into one small thing at a time they do add up.

[Contrary Housewife]

Well, none of us started out organized and disciplined, and some of us still have problems with it. The important part is that you TRY and make the changes. Set yourself some small achievable goals. Most of the financial plans have steps you can follow, one at a time. Nobody expects you to change overnight.

Once you get the ball rolling it will be easier to keep it moving.

[deltadawn]

Thank you so much! The goal for today is to write it all down along with my strengths and weaknesses. I do have a couple strengths already; bake my own bread, muffins, cookies, etc., LOVE to cook from scratch, eat out once month, am very motivated, just need direction (hence the post).

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

[NewLeaf]

Pick one thing to start with. I am just a newbie, but I have already learned a great deal here. The thing I started with was my grocery/household spending. The very first thing I did was decide to make my own laundry detergent because that is one of the most expensive items I have to buy ea. month. Then that led to other small things I am trying. I am currently trying to cut my grocery bill and learn how to coupon and stockpile.

Just look around the forums and pick one small thing to start with.

[Spirit Deer]

Break it down! If it's too overwhelming to think of doing something in total, then start with some small part of the total. Like if you want your kitchen to be more organized but you can't seem to get started, start with just one drawer or cabinet, even one shelf in a cabinet. Do that one thing and it will help you be motivated to keep moving. Go through the whole house that way, and eventually it'll all be organized.

Get some cardboard boxes and sort things into them according to the room they go into as you organize your first small area. Then put each box in the appropriate room. Don't put the boxed things away for now, but stay focused on the little area you're starting with. Keep doing that and eventually everything will be in the proper room. Then you will know what you have and what kinds of containers you need to store it in. As you sort, also keep a box for things you want to sell or donate. If you're donating, as soon as a box is full put it in the car so you don't forget to get rid of it. Don't shove it in a corner promising yourself you'll do it some other time. Use the same technique within the same room as you organize. If you find something in a kitchen drawer that should be somewhere else in the kitchen, move it into the proper space. Don't start organizing the second space even if the item doesn't fit, just put it where it belongs. You'll get to it when you get to organizing that space.

Make yourself work at organizing a half hour per day. It's amazing what you can get done in a half hour as long as you are focused.

Do the same with money. Organize your grocery spending as one part. Organize monthly bills as another. Etc.

Find other stress relievers besides eating and spending. Remember those are only going to make you feel slightly better temporarily, and then you'll feel really bad later for eating/spending when it's not really what you wanted and doesn't help the stress, only adds to it.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm not really organized and certainly not disciplined! However, I've been making small changes for a long time, so I have pockets of organization and certain areas where I'm fairly well disciplined. My pop up camper is highly organized, but my sewing room is a disaster. My cast iron is all very organized in the kitchen as is my pantry, but inside the cabinets still need a ton of work. It's a process, not something you can do once and be done with it forever, just like losing weight and maintaining the loss. (My sewing room was once highly organized, too, and by the end of the month, I hope to make it so again.)

If you try to do it all at once, you will most likely fail and then feel bad about yourself. Take things slowly and you won't be as likely to burn out.

I'm feeling good today because I cleaned out the storage shelves in my bathroom today, organized everything, added some new storage, threw out the old medicines, and now have everything in that area so it's easy to find and we now will know what we have and what we need to buy. The floor still needs to be mopped, the shower cleaned, etc, but I still feel good because I've made progress. It'll all eventually be done, but if I tried to do it all at once I would just get frustrated. So instead I just picked one area and got that taken care of. For now.

[Judi Dial]

Dave Ramsey is a good place to start. Also try what Julia Cameron calls "money in/money out" that is, tracking every penny you spend/get and see where it's going. Try it for a month.

Finally, don't forget the most important step: celebrate your victories and savor the accomplishments. It doesn't have to be a champagne dinner (and likely never will be) but you need to give yourself pats on the back for meeting goals and relishing your accomplishments. (FV is great about providing some of that, we'll cheer you on and celebrate with you!)

IHTH!
Judi

[deltadawn]

I just sat down and wrote an outline of my 3 major goals, who knew that the outline lessons in grade school were so important? LOL

I am going to start tracking today. I have a folder that I found and am going to make it the finance bible.

I feeling better already. Thank you for all of the great advice and support!

[madhen]

I am new at all of this, as well, but I have learned one lesson: you can't fix it if you don't know what is broke. The two best things I've done to get a handle on my finances are to: document ALL my credit card/mortgage debt and document ALL my spending. It is amazing how much money I wasted without actually realizing it, and knowing that, I can start to cut back a little every month, until I find that happy medium between want and need. And by documenting my debts, I have a real, concrete, number to work with and to chip down to zero!

[QM]

...I can handle the weight-loss issue on my own, since, I have been battling that most of my life as well...

If interested, there is a wonderful weight loss challenge that you're welcome to join. It's a lot of fun and there are a lot of great people on the same weight loss journey as yourself. Check out the Frugal Village thread "2009 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge" at [ame="http://www.frugalvillage.com/forums/showthread.php?t=113948"]2009 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge - Frugal Village Forums[/ame] Just jump right in; you don't have to read the whole thread to know what's going on.

[nic4549]

LOL; For a teacher, I'm the most unorganized person ever. I agree with all of the others, one step at a time. I have been doing to debt reduction thing for 10 months and about to pay off the only credit card. It has not been easy. My motivation, is what the end result will be. Envision yourself 40 months from now and think how good it will feel. That should be your motivation.
I also visit this website 4-5 times per week. I am constantly reminded that I need to try harder. I don't really have a firm hold on this, just one step at a time.
I would greatly encourage you to read the Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. He is practical and down to earth. We are with you every step of the way.

[Starlight9803]

I agree with the others - take it one step at a time. Trying to do it all in one fell swoop just leads to stress and eventually burn out. Pick one thing to help save money, when you are comfortable with that, start on the next thing, and so on.

[fixer]

You have received good advice. Pick one thing to concentrate on. Once you feel comfortable with that item, move on to another. It is a lifelong process you are embarking on. Oh by the way, have fun along the way. Life is too short not to.