What makes a good neighbor?

[ml2620]

We just moved to a new town and now that the weather is warming up, we are desperate to meet and get the know the neighbors.

What do you think is a good way to meet our new neighors - most immediately around us are elderly, but further down the road are some families with kids (we are currently childless)?

What do you think we can do to establish a good relationship with them?

[2ndGenGranola]

Well based on my neighbors I can tell you what not to do!!

I've noticed the guy like to talk about the yard a lot. Before our good neighbor moved he and DH would hang over the fence and talk about grass, fertilizer, seeds, mowers... I talked the the wife about paint, kids, hobbies, garage sales...

[Momto2Boyz]

I think it depends on how outgoing you are. If you are really ambitious, you could have a BBQ and invite your neighbors. Or a little less ambitious, you could just wait until they are outside and go and say hello.

One thing that I have learned is that I never wait around for neighbors to come and meet me. I have always gone and said hello first, especially if they have kids. Stopping over with the kids while they are outside is a great way to break the ice! Introduce the kids first, then if they seem nice, you can always suggest a play date!

[Thevail]

I usually say "hi", or "I just love the ----- you have in your yard" a few times in passing first (We're always out walking or on our bikes anyway)

Then have a barbecue ..

Then I ask if they need anything since I'm going to the store anyway (nearest neighbors only, or one's you see as you get in the car)

Then I go for the pot luck..(but eat something first..good neighbors are not always good cooks!)

[old_lady_in_the_shoe]

I think the biggest "deal" about being a good neighbor is just taking the time to actually "introduce" yourself...once that happens, you have opened the door. And once the door is open they get a good view of you (and family) and feel like it is ok to "talk" to you or invite you over and viseversa. Just be yourself and go say "hi"!

[FrugalMomof3]

I agree, just say Hi and introduce yourself. Then have the BBQ.

[spyzvixxen]

I'm pretty shy or should I say cautious. I would start by walking around the neighborhood and just maybe start off by waving & saying hi.

[cissylu]

If there out side I would go over and Introduce myself.

[Michelle]

I think it depends on how outgoing you are. If you are really ambitious, you could have a BBQ and invite your neighbors. Or a little less ambitious, you could just wait until they are outside and go and say hello.

One thing that I have learned is that I never wait around for neighbors to come and meet me. I have always gone and said hello first, especially if they have kids. Stopping over with the kids while they are outside is a great way to break the ice! Introduce the kids first, then if they seem nice, you can always suggest a play date!

:agree:

I'd say good neighbors are friendly who aren't too nosy. Ones who mind their own business but are willing to lend a hand if they see/know you need help. I don't talk too much to my next door neighbor (or any of my neighbors really--we all just keep to ourselves for the most part), but he drives a plow for work, and he often plows the street before the town plows come by (they usually take forever since we're on a dead end, quiet street). We say hi and wave, but that's about it.

[2ndGenGranola]

Ah! You reminded me - when we still had "good" neighbors next door we would shovel their walk on the few days it snowed. While neither were up in years the man did have some sort of issue with his walking and the woman had her hands full doing the heavy chores.

[CrazyCat]

I think a good neighbor is one you trust. One you can call on for help~or perhaps to watch your house...feed your pets...or just kabitz about things.
I could go on and on..but I'm short of time.

[mombottoo]

Just say hi and introduce yourself when you see someone out puttering around. I am the kind of neighbor who doesn't really socialize with my neighbors. The only neighbors we consider friends are the couple that lives right next door...the rest we are friendly with, but only to the extent that we keep an eye on their houses when they are gone, loan them tools/etc if they need something and would do them a favor if it wasn't too over the top...other than that we pretty much mind our own business and expect our neighbors to do the same.

[freebs]

My opinion is just wait till they come over. I just moved and i am not going to go introduce my self to the neighbors cuz i really dont care who my neighbors are. i stick to myself and i like it that way, so i know that maybe they dont want to know.

[MyMelody]

We are the youngest people in our neighborhood, which is somewhat stand-offish. Additionally, we're an interracial couple, which is difficult for older people in my area to understand sometimes. We don't have kids, which limits our interactions, but then, few others around us do, either. Most everyone else is retired and I rarelyever see them on their porches or in the yard. There's some houses whose owners I've NEVER seen -- just their hired lawn service out mowing or raking! When we lost our cat, we went door to door meeting people for the first time, and with exception of about 2 houses, people either did not open their doors or were pretty cold. Our next door neighbor is DH's coworker, but she hasn't moved in yet due to remodeling (which has been ongoing for almost 2 years). I hope she and I can do some things together once she's finally settled. The only way we'll get neighbors who are within a couple decades of our ages will be for the older ones to sell or pass away. Not trying to be morbid or insensitive, just realistic.

I guess if I had to describe a good neighbor, I'd say he or she would be:
friendly, helpful, not nosy/invasive, and considerate (no loud noises early in the morning or late at night).

[jamie79]

good fences make good neighbors