How are you frugal with bridal showers/wedding gifts when they have a registry?

[ForMiri]

I'm wondering how to not look cheap for bridal shower gifts and wedding gifts when most people are cutting checks for $100-$150. and buying off the registry? I really want to make homemade stuff, but everyone wants a brand new this or that...

[marjorie]

I try to make an heirloom this or that. For my nephew (first to get married of 6 nieces and nephews) I made an unusually large afghan. I think it ended up measuring something like 8' x 7' or something. It was large enough that my 7' tall nephew and his wife could snuggle together as they are fond of doing, under the same afghan. It went over extremely well, cost me about $50 and she priced similar items in NYC at $300-$500.. and liked it even better. On the other hand, for Christmas that year I had little to spend and went to www.bonners.com and bought them a wedding ornament with a bride and groom with their hair colors etc. It was my most frugal big hit for them. HTH

[perSue]

are you able to ask the bride/groom if you could make something useful for them (ie, wedding blanket/quilt, scrapbook if one is a family member, etc)?

i'd ask first... then if they say they would prefer something from the registry, choose one sorta pricey item, or a few less expensive ones.

in the past, i've bought several "smaller" gifts - but i also choose the more useful of gifts as well. if someone really wants that brand new dining set or even fancy espresso maker, let them buy it themselves.
but basic things like towels, utensils, oven mitts, etc... see if you can make some, or if they prefer, buy 'em & ship.

it all depends on who the gifts are for... and how they'll react to a "homemade" vs purchased gift... and how you're related to them (be it family or friend).

HTH

[sunshine]

I agree-- you have to make something to WOW them. I made a family cookbook from heirloom recipes from everyone on our side of the family, for my nieces bridal shower. I emailed, phoned and wrote to everyone I could. . . got recipes, pictures, hand written notes and letters. . . scanned them into a computer program, printed it out and took it to Kinko's and had it bound. I made note cards with the website of the book, for anyone else that wanted to print it out. It was the hit of the shower!

[Edna_E]

I think registries are useful for people who do not know either of the couple well, but prefer not to use them unless I'm stumped. I also operate on the principle that anyone who knows me well enough to expect a significant gift ALSO know me well enough to know that my funds are limited far more than my creativity - so they can expect something unusual that may have a serious time/effort investment but not cost alot - like a booklet of "gift certificates" for a day of housecleaning, a few evenings of babysitting, a few delivered home-cooked meals, etc. for a baby shower (usually much appreciated). Bridal showers require a LOT more personal approach - so I might put together a neat basket with smell-goodies and fabric that coordinates with registry colors to line it for someone whose preferences in scents I know or a home-made cookbook with photographs and explicit instructions and a small collection of spices and herbs for someone with little cooking experience who has expressed concern over her ability to learn, in other words I try hard to match to the person rather than worry about the other people who may be there - and when I catch myself being unable to drop my concern over the other people, then I don't attend because I realize that my concern is a sign that I don't think I have much in common with them. This approach does not fit everyone - but it does fit me, and might be of use to you.

[ravenmaniac]

There is no law that says you have to buy off a gift registry. I feel most people cherish a handmade gift more. Put your talents and thoughtfulness to work. I'm sure a nice handmade gift would be appreciated and shown off for years to come. (A towel or wash cloth will turn into a rag.)

[Thevail]

I usually do something personal for the bridal shower..and just go with the registry for the wedding.

I know it seems unfrugal, but I usually stick with the lower end of the registry prices. I just remember having people at my wedding that "went rogue" from the registry and bought things that were on the registry but got them somewhere else. That's fine, but that was a lot of blenders and toasters...

So if you're not going to go with the registry, the trick is to get something that isn't on the registry at all. It really cuts down on duplicates which are a nightmare for the bride afterwards...

"Honey,can you remember who gave us the third toaster?? I'm trying to keep it straight for the thank you cards."

And trying to return things when you don't necessarily have the right reciept with the right gift is hair raising.

The other trick is to get the couple a gift card for the store where they're registered. Usually you get 20% off when you buy things you registered for after the wedding. That way you can complete the flatware set, or the dinner plate set, etc.

[Judi Dial]

I don't know if this will work, or not. Act as if the event hadn't happened and ask them AFTERWARDS what they need.

My neighbor's oldest got married, private small wedding last Jan., we weren't invited, no prob. The "public" wedding was last Oct., we still weren't invited, still no prob. They just had their first child. So I ask my neighbor, what do they need/want?

The answer, "They don't know yet; I'll let you know."

So, ok, I'll spend $100 or maybe more on the baby gift, but I didn't give them anything for the engagement or two weddings, so I think they're due!

My dad's standard gift to young marrieds was TV trays...usually you don't have a lot of furniture yet. DH had a friend whose standard gift was a fire extingusiher, something needed but practically never bought for years. (He was scared to death he'd get a dozen of them when he married...but he didn't get any!)

Judi

[AmyBoz]

We tend to be generous with weddings and babies. These are the most important events of a persons life, and so we look at the registries and find the most practical items that we know we have used over the years and then spend the money on that. You could also buy the least expensive thing on the registry. I find that, for the most part, people register for what they really need, with the exception of some people who go crazy and register for everything under the sun. However, you could look at the list and find the practicalities there.

[heartofmine]

I always buy a gift butI do what I can afford. I'm not trying to impress anyone. Heck I'd like to have half of what they have on their registery's and if I can't afford it for myself I sure can't afford it for them. My dh and I were tickled to death with anything we got when we got married 25 years ago. Sure I got 3 toasters but hey...they do wear out. LOL ..and I was able to return one for what we really needed. My most treasures items were the homemade gifts that someone put a lot of love and thought into. I love my quilts.

[Pemberleyan]

I usually buy a set of pillow cases (not on registry) and machine-embroider a monogram on each one in a nice font. Perhaps you have a friend who could do this embroidery for you. I think it makes a nice gift.

[MyMelody]

I tend to go more on the frugal side -- maybe $40 at most. If several items are "related" on a registry, (like knives and a cutting board, or potholders, towels, mitts, or baby health/wellness), I try to buy them as a set for the couple. I do what I can afford and what will be useful/helpful, and don't worry about the rest.

Here are some gifts I've given:

-- A new laundry basket filled with cleaning supplies, aluminum foil, plastic wrap, sandwich baggies, paper plates, and other household basics that tend to be forgotten when a new couple sets up house (the couple I did this for loved it and said it helped a lot their first week). I threaded some curling ribbon through the holes in the basket to fancy it up.

-- A nice stainless steel colander as the "basket," filled with potholders, oven mitts, dishtowels (used these as the "tissue paper"), a utensil set, and salt/pepper shakers (everything but the colander can come from Dollar Tree). I also include a few easy casserole recipes, like tater tot casserole, baked pasta, etc.

-- For babies, I almost always give a big package of diapers, a couple sets of onesies in varying sizes, and something practical like a thermometer, gas drops, etc. And a disposable camera, especially for folks who don't have a digital yet.

[ml2620]

DH and I were married in 2007 so all this wedding stuff is still fresh in my memory - but it's also been long enough that I know what I actually used!

I love so many of these ideas!

Some of my favorite and most used/cherished wedding gifts were - a friend took pictures at our afternoon wedding, ran home and developed them and put them together in a little book she delivered bright and early the next morning. The usual wait on "professional" pictures is like 3-6 weeks, so it was wonderful to have the book to show people and relive the moment right away. It was so great we didn't bother with the high priced wedding album.

Another friend (her husband, actually) made us a month's worth of dinner music CD's. At least 4 times a week, we do the whole table cloth, candles, properly set table with dinner music type dinners - so this was perfect for us.

Another friend gave me one of her own paintings. It was a long time senitmental favorite, I just cried when I received it. She also made us a set of matching pajamas that are kind of fun and goofy.

My sister in law gave me a home made recipie book, another sister in law gave us framed copies of some old family pictures (from when they were little and some of his father and grandmother when they were small).

A neighbor filled our freezer with home made frozen dinners (lasagna, assembled stir fry mixes and sauces, marined meats and chicken). Those meals sure made the honeymoon last a little longer when we returned.

To be honest, most of the stuff on our registry is in it's original packaging in our basement. We shouldn't have requested a china set or serving trays, we just aren't that kind of people. I feel guilty, but I am already considering putting them on e-bay.

Hope this helps. This made me realize I am so blessed to have such wonderful and creative friends and family members.

[Momto2Boyz]

We have a variety of rules when it comes to wedding gifts. Normally, it depends on who the bride and groom are. We spend less on friends and a bit more on family. I also spend less on a wedding gift, if I also have to purchase a shower gift, bachelorette party gift and/or an engagement party gift.

I only give homemade gifts for weddings if I know the couple will appreciate it and I can think of something really great. My brother is getting married in Sept. and I'm making a scrapbook of their lives. It starts out with them being born and working up with significant events until they met. Up to that point, they each have the page opposite each other. Then, they join together in the pictures, and it's just turned out really neat!

[Laurie in Bradenton]

I agree if you can talk to the bride do so. Althought I've run into young folks who have no idea of what they need or want.
Homemade cookbooks are always welcome, especially for those who can't boil water. Include a few basic easy recipes. My new daughter-in-law didn't know how to make jello so we started out really basic. Include a few emtpy pages for her to include notes and photos of her lst Thanksgiving meal, Christmas meal, etc...
How about a homemade tree shirt for their first Christmas. Add a pair of stockings and an ornament. Perhaps a tree topper.
Went to a shower a few monthes ago where one of the gifts was a white trashcan for the bathroom. In it was a bottle of asprin, bottle of achol, bottle of hygren proxiode, box of bandaids, bottle of pepto. Looked like someone had gone down the asile at CVS and put in a bottle of all those everyday things no one remembers. What a hit!

Laurie in Bradenton