how did or do you do it all?

[lauraashley2006]

So my husband is starting school at the end of august. He is working on his counseling degree. He wants to work with troubled teens. I am starting back school in Oct. for my nursing degree. We have no family here and cant afford to not both work full time. my question is, is there anyone here who is or has gone through the same thing and if so how did you get through it? We have a 3 year old and between having different schedules, working around daycare, and work schedules, I feel like my head is spinning around in circles. I know itll be worth it and I am going back at the same time as him bc i only have a year and half left then he could go part time. I know we will manage i just want to know that there are other people out there that have gone through the same thing

[Guest57]

Just looking at your scenario makes my head spin...my biggest concern is for your child...if you're both working AND going to school, what becomes of your little one? Daycare all the time? Time with parents who are busy studying or too tired to really be involved? I commend you for your efforts, but can't ONE OF YOU postpone school until the other one is finished? This child needs to be spending quality time with at least one of you. I hope I don't offend you, but I'm a preschool teacher and I've seen it so many times that the child has to 'wait' while the parents are getting their lives in order (i.e. working longer hours to make ends meet, going to school to get a better job, working and going to school, etc.) My heart goes out to all of you as you try and work this hectic life out for yourselves...and I am praying for you!! HUGS~

[Grainlady]

Sounds like when hubby was going to University. I worked a manufacturing job that was 3-weeks on, 1-2 weeks off, but I made more money there than being a sales clerk or working fast-food, and it gave me some home time with our young daughter. Luckily we had great child-care provider who could work with this schedule.

Hubby worked several jobs. Starting at 4 a.m. he cleaned a hamburger drive-in (364-days a year - off Christmas) and a loan office before he went to school. He was a lunch monitor at an elementary school during the noon hour. In the afternoon he cleaned at the local high school after 3 p.m. and an early-learning center. In the summer the school system hired him full-time to work in maintance in all the schools - painting and all kinds of things - plus his 2 cleaning jobs in the morning. All while taking 19-21 hours in Arthitecture AND we only had one car and NO mass-transit system. By the time he graduated he was very qualified for a janitorial position ANYWHERE!!! (LOL)

It was tough - even short-term.

[MaryCarney]

I've done similar early in life, and it is really, really hard.

However, since your degree is nursing, and you are so close, I would really advise YOU finishing while he maybe just goes part-time (or ONLINE???).

You will make a good income as soon as you pass NCLEX, and if you work at a university hospital will probably be able to get reduced tuition for him.

[Luckybustert]

Hubby and I both worked full time and went to school. He stopped going to school after awhile, but I continued on until I got my degree (he already had one and was working on a second). It was extremely stressful, and the sleep deprivation played havoc with my health. We had very little time to spend together, virtually no social life, and the house was always a chaotic mess. It was difficult, and I'm really not sure I could have done it if we'd also had children to take care of. I'm very glad I hung in there and got my degree, but it was one very long and arduous process.

[frugalwarrior]

Your child is only little once. Can't youspend more time w/ him instead??

[mauimagic]

REally admire your goals and drive to complete them!! I went back for my second degree when I was 49, teaching special ed. full time, with a 9 YO and DH. Could not have done it without the support and dedication of our tiny family (we also have no other family on island).

Also as a preschool teacher I agree with JM - one goes to school now, one waitsor goes online. I preach 'family and health' come first to whoever will listen - and, truthfully, both will suffer if you follow your plan IMO.

You can do it all, perhaps not at all the same time.

Please let us know how you're doing whatever you decide!!

[cissylu]

I agree with JM. your child will belittle only once.

[Karen1]

I did it all when younger, I could...I sure had the energy.

Now I am 48 and have a 4 year old daughter (one and only)

We own a working farm and Tony works a full time job and so did I--along wtih our farm. When Nicole was born, I quit my day job. I concentrate on the farm and her. We do quite well for income from the farm and the balance is fab with Nicole having her Mom around.

It is so hard.


My advice.....don't sweat any of the small stuff. When you have free time do not clean the house spotless, don't worry about mowing, all that stuff, play with the kid!! Work, get your education and then keep the kid as no. 1 priority right after that....and all other free time you have and drop the stupid stuff! Let the dust bunny stay under the bed a while longer and enjoy your little one..HA HA

It will be hard, life usually is that way!

[frugalfranny]

All I can say is go with what is RIGHT FOR YOU........thinking about all the angles......including the child. It is a really tough choice and will be tough duty. If you want it bad enough you will get through it.

I was a single parent......going to school full time.....working full time for 2 1/2 years of the schooling (took summer classes too, but a lighter load)) and 'existing' on about 3 to 5 hours sleep a night. No family help at all. Coffee was my mainstay. Looking back, I truly don't know how I did it.......if you want it enough.....you just do it!!

As for the child........quality is better than quantity... so you have to allow for that. Your child is young enough that the adjustment might be less......mine was a teenager and I had h*** to pay for doing it.

Good luck to WHATEVER you decide to do...........

[AmyBoz]

Laura, what works for one family may not work for another. If this is the system that is going to work for you, then do it. I know that there are a lot of factors that go into these decisions. Sometimes, people don't feel complete until they've finished something like a degree, and so even if they are home, they aren't giving their all, because there is somewhere else they'd rather be.

It sounds to me like you and dh planned this all out and have a plan in place. Yep, it sounds like it is going to be tough, but I'm sure that it will be fine in the end. I'd follow the advice of frugalfanny and go for quality family time. My dh and I work full-time and our kids are in daycare, and you know what? They are happy, well-adjusted kids. When we are together, we are together. So, like fanny said, hang out with the fam instead of cleaning. The mess will always be there after your little pumpkin goes to sleep.

Best of luck to you!

[Debbie-cat]

I did it and I was 400 miles from my son! It is difficult but the best piece of advice I can give you is to BE ORGANIZED!!! Don't slack once in that department. I would have never been able to do all that I did without my daily planner with me every second of every day. Classes, assignments, work schedule, son's appointments, bills due dates...everything was in that book. It saved my life a few times. Good luck!

[lauraashley2006]

As usual, I always get great responses when i post a question on here. I love it. For the record, no one offended me by any means. To me, its always nice to have an outside opinion. Someone lookin in from the outside is a good perspective. However, also for the record, my daughter now, and when school starts, will only be in daycare a total of 12 hours a week. The only reason it is even that much is because my husband schedule and mine overlap by about 2 1/2 hours on sat and sun. We have always intentionally made our schedules where she isnt in daycare very much bc we just cant afford it. However after much consideration, I have decided that Im not gonna take any classes for a while. I already have an assoicates degree and am working in the field that I have a degree in. My husband supported me to the fullest throughout that entire experience, and I feel as though I need to do the same for him. Plus I want to have another baby. (I got a MAJOR case of baby fever right now) So I really appreciate everyones answers and thank you for taking time out to respond to my answer.........