Frugal rehersal dinner ideas

**jas** · 04-08-2010, 05:19 PM

My ds is getting married in a year and the rehersal dinner is the grooms families responsability. I know I have a long time before that night rolls around, but I am a planner and like to know, as much as possible, well in advance what happening.

I know it can run the gamut from fancy restaraunt to backyard BBQ. Just wanted to know what others have done or plan on doing. I am frugal and on a budget so The fancy restaraunt is not the direction we will be going.

Also at the reception even though it is not typically the grooms family that pays my ex-husband is a Chef and will be doing the food either for cost or that may be his gift. Depending on the cost of food and paid help I may contribute to that as well and I can't put out a fancy dinner the night before and also with the reception dinner.

I will be paying for all the beverages at the reception, non-alcholol and alcholol. Thinking along the lines of beer, champange fountain, coffee, and sodas and one or two signature drinks.

I am also doing the Candy Bar. This will be what the favors will be for people to fill a bag with different candy to take home.

This is by no means a Platinum wedding budget, but all involved want it to be nice for them. The costs will be split between the bride and groom, brides mom and stepdad, brides grandparents, grooms dad, and my husband and I.

TIA

**nuisance26** · 04-08-2010, 05:28 PM

~Have you asked your son and future DIL what they would prefer? My in-laws didn't ask me but I suggested ordering a bunch of pizzas and just hanging out. That freaked them out and they insisted on something 10X fancier than my actual wedding. *sigh*
A lot of couples just want something quick and easy that won't take away from their experience the next day. Ask and see. It is ultimately up to you but you may be able to match their ideal dinner in a very frugal way.~

**Libby** · 04-08-2010, 05:30 PM

I think you should have a talk with your DS and soon to be DDIL to see what they were thinking. You may be thinking of something more elaborate and they're thinking of a backyard BBQ.

My gf had an elaborate wedding planned yet a nice rehearsal dinner at the local Jack Astor's big box chain restaurant. They wanted a sit down meal but nothing extravagant b/c that was the next nights game plan.

A few other gf's had a backyard BBQ; pot luck picnic in the local park and lastly a backyard homemade hors d'oeuvre party.

The important part is y'all know what you need to do on the big day and that you get some QT bonding time the night before with some tasty food

Enjoy yourself!

**Contrary Housewife** · 04-08-2010, 05:43 PM

Since our families were small we had dinner at a local BBQ restaurant. It was a nice, modestly priced family place. The atmosphere was relaxed and nobody had to worry about playing host(ess).

What you plan depends on how many people you have. Dinner out for 6-8 might be manageable. For 20, not so much.

**jas** · 04-08-2010, 06:13 PM

My ds and future dil are very agreeable and sensible people. The food at the reception is of way more importance than the rehersal dinner to them. Pizza or wings would be fine with them she is a very picky eater nothing fancy at all. Even though my ex is a chef he knows the food will not have to be some exotic thing. She would be fine with heavy appetizer type things or even BBQ then. It really should be a refelction of what they really like to eat not just stuff to impress. Ds has a much broader like of food. He wants her to be happy and if that means chicken fingers so be it. Hope that will not be the case. Other than the wedding vows he want the party part to the best part.

**Precious26** · 04-08-2010, 06:31 PM

I got married in 2008 and my mother in law asked me what we wanted to do I just told her do what you think would be suitable for our occasion. She ordered three or four platters from the local Italian Market (No we are not Italian lol) the cost was maybe 150 dollars for the bridal party and both families which was rather inexpensive. We also had wine included my parents had a great time we weren't expecting anything fancy because of the fact that our wedding was quite elaborate. It was intimate and absolutely enjoyed by all.

**shoiji** · 04-08-2010, 06:46 PM

Since it doesn't sound as if your dil or ds wants anything elaborate how about asking them if having their favorite homecooked foods at the rehersal dinner. Grant it you should ask them what they want. But it would be a fun way to get everyone talking.

**jas** · 04-08-2010, 06:48 PM

Thanks guys for all the advise keep the suggestions coming I like them all!

The main thing is I want all the suggestions and time I can get with this. I really want to be able to have the cash and NOT take on any new debt over this. I am not going to get sparkels in my eyes at all the dazzleing high-end choices. Well, I might get dazzeled, but not enough to go into debt over paying for it.

**monkeywrangler71** · 04-08-2010, 07:03 PM

How big is their wedding party? There really shouldn't be a lot of people at the rehearsal dinner should there?

Keep in mind how busy you expect to be the rest of the weekend. If it's a small party, you might find it's worth paying a little extra to have it at a (reasonably priced) restaurant, so that you can save your energy for the next day. You don't want to be up half the night before the wedding, cleaning up after a party.

A lot of restaurants will give you an option of ordering from a fixed menu for a party, so you can limit your guests to a few well-priced options and not have to worry about anyone ordering the lobster.

**jas** · 04-08-2010, 07:09 PM

Not exactly sure on the size yet. I guess it depends on all who you have to include in it. Of course all of the wedding party, and thier SO's. Most things say any out of town guests. Some may not want to come as they will be with other family not in the wedding rehersal.

What do others do? Who do they include?

**Holly** · 04-08-2010, 07:29 PM

We had a nice sit down dinner at the rehersah dinner.
Cost around $300.00 for all wedding party, their spouses .
I cooked until noon for the wedding then got to the place and changed quickly - wedding was at 2.
Be glad your ex is cooking and you can enjoy.
Congradulations to your son.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 04-08-2010, 07:35 PM

You can either do a pot luck dinner or something like spaghetti with meatballs, a side salad and dinner rolls.

**sunshine** · 04-08-2010, 08:07 PM

For my nephew's wedding - we had to travel 1/2 way across the country for the wedding. My brother and his wife, did cold cut sandwiches, chips, cookies from Sam's. . . and soda, tea, lemonade.

For my son's wedding - the wedding party was mostly college students. I fixed a roaster full of spaghetti, had tossed salad, garlic bread and texas cake. I served tea, lemonade - and it was good (we had the rehearsal dinner in the church basement)

**ruderring** · 04-08-2010, 11:41 PM

When we got married we had a BBQ. It was really fun and my aunts and uncles were in charge of cooking for us and it was all ready when we arrived to the rehearsal dinner.
My brother in laws were both married within a week of each other and my mother in law ordered pizzas for one and decided she couldn't afford that for the second son so she made homemade salads and had ham and turkey sandwiches. I wasn't invited to either even though my husband was in both of their weddings so sometimes even spouses are not invited. So, be sure to check and see how many guests will be invited and then you can go from there. Good luck and have fun with the planning. Ultimately keep in mind what they want but by no means put yourself into debt. I am sure you will have great fun. Congrats to you all.

**nuisance26** · 04-09-2010, 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by jas

Not exactly sure on the size yet. I guess it depends on all who you have to include in it. Of course all of the wedding party, and thier SO's. Most things say any out of town guests. Some may not want to come as they will be with other family not in the wedding rehersal.

What do others do? Who do they include?

~My in-laws included the minister and his wife. So we had all the participants and the only out of state guests were my brother and his wife and DH's grandparents. It was about 20 people.~