Teens and Picking Colleges

**happymomof4** · 04-17-2010, 08:36 PM

How much say did you have with picking colleges for your high school student?

I am on my 4th child and looking for schools. Just wondering if you let the whole process up to your kid or did you do most of the picking and planning of schools.

It is funny watching other families at these open house's and the questions that they ask and things they say.

**ubumartin** · 04-17-2010, 09:37 PM

I am on my 3rd out of 4 going to college. We pretty much stuck to Massachusetts state schools for financial reasons. They knew where we could afford to send them and help them financially. My husband has done a lot to save over the years for them. They will have some school loans but for the most part it will amount to a little more than the cost of one year about 20,000 each child. They are all living on campus so that increased the amount but I wanted them to have the experience of living at college. They are good students (the older 2 and hopefully the one starting will do fine also.) They also work for their spending money and car insurance and help with buying books.

**krbshappy71** · 04-17-2010, 10:05 PM

I offered to my kids to live at home for free, with a car provided, as long as they were going to school or working full time. Or a split between the two scenarios, as long as it adds up to doing something full time. We are fortunate to live very close to a very good college and I also suggested they start off at the community college in town for their basic credits first. (for Freshman year they will have to stay on campus but living at home would save them money thereafter)

They researched other colleges on their own.

**Neeley** · 04-17-2010, 10:53 PM

DD and DH have been researching colleges and universities for over a year now. DD is in her junior year and soon will be applying to several. She is leaning towards Bryn Mawr, U of Penn, Wofford and a couple of others. Chances are she is going out of state. And not just out of state, but out of the south (we live in the deep south).

It is not up to DH and I to pick her college. That is a choice she will ultimately make. She knows what her options are and that we are here to assist her if she needs help. This summer we plan to take a few road trips and visit some campuses that interest her the most.

**mauimagic** · 04-18-2010, 03:02 AM

Our DD started looking her sophomore year. The only thing we told her was that she could not go to school in the islands, she had to go to college on the mainland. The summer after her sophomore year, she and I toured the west coast starting in Washington and then down through Oregon through California. She had a list of colleges and off we went.

After her junior year, we took a trip to the "East Coast" - starting in St. Louis, then on the Pennsylvania, Connecticut, and Massachusetts visiting colleges she was interested in there. She narrowed it down to two and was invited back her senior year (all expenses paid by the schools - including airfare!) to spend a weekend getting to know the schools better. Unfortunately it was the same weekend!!

Her decision to make definitely - it was hard to force her to go to the mainland, but she defintely needed that experience. Although we have visited all over the mainland, it's not the same as living there.

**joyofsix** · 04-18-2010, 08:22 AM

My dd is a senior now. I let her take care of it all, applications, visits, etc. Dh and I told her she could live here rent free and have use of a car but that was pretty much our contribution. She got accepted into her first choice little private Christian college with a scholarship. She'll be commuting 70 miles round trip but that's pretty much the commute to any college from where we live. She turned down the loans and will be working and using her savings and has applied for other scholarships. I'm thinking I'll let all the rest do it all themselves too. They are adults (or nearly) afterall. I would help if asked though.

**MyMelody** · 04-18-2010, 11:59 AM

I can't speak as a parent, but for myself, I'd narrowed it down to a private Christian college or my hometown state university my senior year of high school. The decider for me was when the state university offered to a full academic scholarship to pay tuition, room and board, books, plus a semesterly stipend, while the private school would have required me to take out loans of at least $4K/year to cover what my scholarship there did not (and it was a departmental scholarship, so if I'd ever changed majors, I would have lost it). Even at that young age, I knew I didn't want to be in $16K debt at minimum (not counting living expenses, etc) after just one degree, so common sense won out for me.

**JessieMom** · 04-18-2010, 02:46 PM

We left the decision up to DS. We offerred to let him stay here rent free and we would pay his tuition, books, and vehicle expenses if he went to the local community college. The college is part of a state university so any credits he obtains there are transferrable. We explained that we could only afford the tuition & books at the community college & if he chose to go somewhere else we would support him emotionally but would only be able to financially contribute what we would have pd to the community college. He weighed the options & decided he would take whatever he could locally first. He's been doing well in his first year.
DS#2 is leaning more toward a tech school so I probably won't have to worry about it with him. DD will have the same choice as DS#1 -we are putting away enough to pay for community college & she can use that money toward where ever she wants to go.

**KathleenCG** · 04-18-2010, 03:15 PM

Neeley- No Bama or War Eagle, I guess? lol Bryn Mawr is a good school, one of the Seven Sisters, as you know. I went to Barnard (NY), another Seven Sister, and had an incredible undergraduate education. It still remains all-women, although it does share classes with Columbia. Good luck to your DD!

**Neeley** · 04-18-2010, 03:37 PM

Originally Posted by KathleenCG

Neeley- No Bama or War Eagle, I guess? lol Bryn Mawr is a good school, one of the Seven Sisters, as you know. I went to Barnard (NY), another Seven Sister, and had an incredible undergraduate education. It still remains all-women, although it does share classes with Columbia. Good luck to your DD!

Ha!!! I don't think anyone could pay DD to go to U of Alabama. She is a HUGE Auburn fan. She comes from a long line of Auburn graduates, including DH and her great-grandfather. Most everyone in our family has attended Auburn for at least a year or more. She has considered going to Auburn. But, she really wants to leave the state and attend a private, liberal arts college.

Bryn Mawr is the one school she keeps leaning to. She has the grades and the funding. My only concern is the cold weather. When she was 14 she had a breast reduction. Ever since, whenever the weather drops under 35*-40*, she has serious pains in her chest. At times they are almost unbearable.

Of course, I am a nervous wreck just thinking about her being that far away. But, it is a good school and she would get an excellent education.

**KathleenCG** · 04-18-2010, 10:22 PM

Originally Posted by Neeley

Ha!!! I don't think anyone could pay DD to go to U of Alabama. She is a HUGE Auburn fan. She comes from a long line of Auburn graduates, including DH and her great-grandfather. Most everyone in our family has attended Auburn for at least a year or more. She has considered going to Auburn. But, she really wants to leave the state and attend a private, liberal arts college.

Bryn Mawr is the one school she keeps leaning to. She has the grades and the funding. My only concern is the cold weather. When she was 14 she had a breast reduction. Ever since, whenever the weather drops under 35*-40*, she has serious pains in her chest. At times they are almost unbearable.

Of course, I am a nervous wreck just thinking about her being that far away. But, it is a good school and she would get an excellent education.

Well, I guess there go the roll of toilet paper and the box of Tide. . .
. . .and Dreamland in Tuscaloosa, too! (SIL went to school there, so that's the only reason I know about all that stuff.)

I can understand your concern about the cold; something to consider; your poor baby. Otherwise, y'all are gonna have to let your little chick fly, and trust that all will go well with those Yankees, because, yes, she will get an excellent education.
(I should talk: I couldn't bear it when my daughter moved from WI to AL! I certainly learned how to drive between those two states, and the Huntsville Airport is like a second home!) You, too, can learn the joys of looooong inter-state travel on icy highways and white-out conditions. Ugh. What we won't do for our kids!

**happymomof4** · 04-19-2010, 06:35 AM

Originally Posted by Neeley

Ha!!! I
Bryn Mawr is the one school she keeps leaning to. She has the grades and the funding. My only concern is the cold weather. When she was 14 she had a breast reduction. Ever since, whenever the weather drops under 35*-40*, she has serious pains in her chest. At times they are almost unbearable.

Of course, I am a nervous wreck just thinking about her being that far away. But, it is a good school and she would get an excellent education.

I work very close to Bryn Mawr college. It does get cold here during the winter months. I would remind her of this and make sure she is willing to take the chance with the cold weather and snow we get here in PA.