When visiting do you bring own food?

[shoiji]

Was wondering what your ideas are if you go to visit someone and you know you can not eat the food they will have. Personally I think it is best to bring whatever food you will eat instead of having the hostess go out and purchase food specifically for your diet. I am talking about staying overnight for a couple of days at someone's house. I always thought it was better manners to atleast contribute some how to the food expense.

With all the foods that I can't eat due to allergies I will bring food with me since I do not expect someone to purchase food just for me.

So what are your ideas on this?

[wanderlusting]

As a hostess, I would try to accomodate dietary restrcictions. But to be honest, I'd feel relieved if you brought your own food- I'd be too worried about serving something my guest would have a reaction to!

[Contrary Housewife]

Anyone who knows me well enough to invite me to stay in their home overnight also knows what we can and cannot eat, or at least asks if what they are serving is ok with us. That said, if I am planning an extended stay I often bring unusual items I know they will not have on hand and should not be expected to provide, such as lactose free milk and sugar substitute.

If I were staying someplace where I knew the entire menu would be inedible, then I would suggest a restaurant where I knew I could make demands of the chef for a special meal while the others could enjoy their favorites.

[krbshappy71]

If you are comfortable doing so, by all means! Another option might be to ask for a quick jaunt to the grocery store after you are there.

My aunt has tons of allergies, every time we went to have a meal it was "can't can't can't" to whatever we suggested. I wish she had just suggested places that she knew she could go to, or that my mom had taken her to a grocery store and we could have had home cooked meals instead of going out. She stayed a week, it was a long time of "can't cant" lol! It's not her fault she has allergies, obviously, and she flew so couldn't bring an entire week of groceries. Hindsight is always 20/20.

[daylily]

Yes, I take food. DH's family know what we can't eat and usually have things we can eat. Most of them are vegan also, some are vegetarian and some eat meat. Besides being vegan, DD2 and I can't eat onions, garlic or peanut butter. DS has intolerances or allergies to many, many foods. I'm very reluctant to eat somewhere other than relatives homes!

[OOwl]

I have a life-threatening allergey to a common additive so I can't risk even the slightest chance that it could be used in even some small element of a prepared dish, so I either take my own food (overnight visit with friend), go to the grocery store and buy the ingredients and cook with my sister or mother, or eat at one of only about two restaurants that I trust don't use that ingredient. Having food allergies really is a pain.

[zakity]

If we are heading down to the relatives down south, I plan out the menu and bring most of the food. If it is the friends up north, I call them ahead of time and we work on planning out a menu together (with me bringing some stuff). My guys can't have "chemicals", pretty much no dyes, little to no corn syrup, and little to no preservatives. MSG gives me a headache, so I try to avoid it.

I don't "do" breakfast foods. I usually bring myself bars for breakfast. I usually bring extra for when they have meals that I can't eat.

[Spirit Deer]

The first time I met my son in law, my daughter walked in the house and announced he had brought his own jalapeno peppers. He likes his food hot and thought we probably wouldn't have hot peppers on hand. They were afraid I would be offended, but it was love at first sight!

I would much rather have a guest who provides for their own special dietary needs, which they are familiar with, than to expect me to cater to them, although I would at least to a point.

[Libby]

I usually ask guests if there's food preferences/sensitivities/allergies/requests when they're planning to come for a stay so I can try to stock some things for them as a courtesy.

I also suggest a menu and/or just wait til they arrive to do the grocery shopping this way we can both come up with an acceptable menu.

If its a group meal, I may feel inclined to bring something that I know I'll be able to eat, especially if its a pot luck or a meal at someones home which I am unfamiliar.

[The Muse]

Being a vegetarian, this comes up a lot for me. When I'm invited to a non-veg household, I usually ask, "would you like me to bring a vegetarian dish to share?"

This reminds the hostess that I'm a vegetarian and gives her an out. This has worked very well for me... sometimes I bring a dish, sometimes I don't. But I think it's an eloquent way of handling it and everyone ends up happy and accommodated.

I would never just show up with my own food without checking it with the hostess ahead of time to make sure that she knows that I'll need fridge/oven space, etc.

If I were going to be a houseguest, I's ask ahead of time if it would be ok for me to use the kitchen to make some veg-friendly food. Works on the same principles mentioned above.

[shoiji]

Thanks for the answers everyone. It gets difficult sometimes always to remind people that you cant eat different types of food. Especially when you know you have told them everytime you eat with them. I just figure it is easier to bring a couple of things you can eat. When I go somewhere I know I may not be able to eat something I will now eat something before I go. Have a friend who always forgets and no amount of telling her before hand will help the situation.

[Dancing Lotus]

It depends on how long we will stay and who it is I'm staying with.
I find it best to ask the host if they would like me to bring a dish.
I can handle making do for a night but longer then that and I need to be better prepared. Fortunately the only home we eat at other the ours is my parents and my mom is great about accommodating us.

Now if we are invited to a party that can be a little tricky. I usually bring a platter under the disguise of sharing. I'm stealthy and if the only choice is a burger or hotdog I just make one without the meat in it and so far not one person has said anything.

[savvy_sniper]

If you have special dietary restrictions then you should let your host know. Also let your host know that you are willing and able to bring food/ingredients. ASK what will work best for your host. Communication is key so that you and your host are not upset, put out, etc.

[2ndGenGranola]

It really depends upon where we are going. Most places we can navigate for a meal or 2. Longer stays would be difficult but we are usually in a hotel for long stays.

Now, If we go visit Mrs __. I will not eat a meal at her house. I am life threatening allergic and she always finds a way to "hide" my allergen in foods that usually do not contain that ingredient. If we must meet with her, we suggest a place out to eat.

If someone were coming to my house, I would hope that they would tell me. I can navigate most allergies except the ones you have to be super careful about cross-contamination. We can even do veggie/vegan (actually prefer veggie).

[madhen]

Speaking from the other end of spectrum, as the person who is usually hosting, I typically ask my guest(s) about any food allergies or preferences, and I try to cater to that. In my mind, if you are visiting my house as a guest, you shouldn't have to cook your own meals. Even when my sister house-sits for me, and I'm out of town, I try to stock the house with things I know she likes, so she'll be comfortable.

If someone told me that they were bringing their own meal because of "x" (x = allergy, lifestyle choice, etc), and they were staying for a few days or more, I wouldn't have a problem with it, but I'd probably also go out, as the host, and try to find other foods that would also meet the requirements of my guest.

If someone tells me that they are bringing their own meal because of "x", and they are just coming over for dinner or overnight, I would be a little insulted, only because it would reflect, to me, a lack of trust on their part that I would do right by them and serve them a meal that met their standards.

However, if someone brought me a finished meal as a "hostess" gift for everyone, or just because, like me, they don't like coming over to someone else's house empty-handed, again, I would appreciate the effort and would not be offended.