Not sure where to put this...

[Jessesbride]

but hopefully it'll get in the right spot...

I teach sunday school twice a month & I teach in the 4 & 5 yr old room. We just switched up all the kids & my co-teacher & I have a problem with one of the kids. He's 4 (I think) & we're not getting much help in how to handle him (not with the church or our supervisers or really even the parents). He's very disruptive, doesn't seem to know how to really talk? tends to talk like he's 1-2 yrs old. If you say his name or even look at him or try to speak to him he starts screaming NO or screaming period... We've only had him a few weeks but apparently the teachers that used to have him said he did the same way with them. This little boy cannot be contained in any way, trying to talk to him one on one isn't helping. Last week (while I wasn't there) he was hitting the other students, he's known to take off out of classroom/away from classroom etc. He has a few symptoms of autism but not all... he can play with others etc...

Not sure what to do & my question is... anyone have any advise? ANY WAY to help this child to help us connect with him in any way? We are at a loss & have no idea what to do with him or how to reach him. It's simply not safe for him to go where ever, but it's also disruptive to the class (& we want to keep this child as well as the other children safe). ANY advise is appreciated. Again, no help with the church supervisors ... trying to talk 1 on 1 with him (or at all) doesn't help. There are only 2 teachers per room & usually we have 12-17 just in our room & if they combine us w/another class... so yeah... HELP!!!!

Thanks!

Kim

[Jeanna]

My first suggestion is to find something that he likes to do by himself. Does he like playdough, coloring, etc. If so try to just let him do that a few Sundays. Still keep him in ear shot of the story but still kind of by himself. Then have him come and sit with the others during story time. Tell him if he is "good" that he can go play with the play dough or what ever when he is done. Once you have him doing that then add something else you do to the list of what he does before the play dough, etc. Then just keep adding until he fits in with the rest of the children for the whole service. Another suggestion, which you probably already do, is really praise him for each positive thing he does also let him be a helper. I have had disruptive children in class before and besides letting them know you will not put up with it these are some of the other things I have had work. Hope some of this helps.

[hotprincesscm]

Maybe aspergers syndrome? Similar to Autism, but more high functioning. I would suggest if the issues don't get better after trying alternatives, and if the parents won't cooperate, I would suggest to the parents to remove him from the classes. As sad as that sounds. One child ruining class for 12-17 other children, just isn't fair, right or acceptable in my opinion. I have a child that has been diagnosed with ADHD, Explosive behavioral disorder, tick disorder and also anxiety. While I know he can't help his behaviors and we work with him, at school, home, doctors and counseling, I understand that the safety, well being, and other childrens education are important, and the rest of the class shouldn't have to suffer because my child is having a hard time controlling himself. If this child's parents were rational you would think they would feel the same way as well.

[2ndGenGranola]

He has a few symptoms of autism but not all... he can play with others etc...

You don't have to have 8 out of 10 symptoms to have autism. Every autistic child is different. I have 2. Both of mine are very social. There are just "differences". Our church has special "floaters" who help with special needs kids who need the extra attention. Does your church have an older youth who could go and "shadow" this child and give him a little extra attention.

[Jessesbride]

Thanks! Our biggest "problem area" is when we first all meet up, it's in the big room w/a lot of the other classes (Kid's club time) where there is praise & worship & then after 20 min or so we line up & go back to "our" classroom while we wait for the other class to come out of "our" classroom (where they go to the big room) & then we can go in ... while it's great for MOST of the kids... this one... not so much

[Imarachne]

Sorry--we have a girl in our daycare that is not a good listener and the mom is no help at all.

[krbshappy71]

You mention he is hitting other kids, what is the standard consequence for that? Is there a three strike rule at which point you can refuse to accept him onto the program? I understand you are saying there is no help from the parent but that doesn't mean you are just stuck with him to harm others, either. If they cannot help you to keep others safe they (disruptive child's parents) may have to find alternative care during their church time.

[Ramona]

The minute he laid a hand on another child, something should have been done. The supervisor should have been contacted and he/she should have called the parents into a conference and told why the child was not allowed in class. Letting this child run amok in a classroom does no one good. It sets a bad example for the others.

I don't think it should even take three strikes and you're out. One slap and he's gone.

[onencgirl]

The minute he laid a hand on another child, something should have been done. The supervisor should have been contacted and he/she should have called the parents into a conference and told why the child was not allowed in class. Letting this child run amok in a classroom does no one good. It sets a bad example for the others.

I don't think it should even take three strikes and you're out. One slap and he's gone.

I totally agree with Ramona. When harm comes to another child it is time for NO tolerance.

[Jessesbride]

Ramona I agree! I wasn't there & I know the other teacher was by herself as there weren't enough volunteers that day & she had about 17 kids. Hitting, as well as, a having a teacher in the classroom all by herself is unacceptable! From what I understand, the teachers who had him before had trouble & "supposedly" the church staff was unaware of the problem. I will check out a few ideas & will be trying pretty much anything & everything. Hopefully we can reach this kid, b/c I don't think (so far) anyone has.

Kim

[krbshappy71]

Ramona I agree! I wasn't there & I know the other teacher was by herself as there weren't enough volunteers that day & she had about 17 kids. Hitting, as well as, a having a teacher in the classroom all by herself is unacceptable! From what I understand, the teachers who had him before had trouble & "supposedly" the church staff was unaware of the problem. I will check out a few ideas & will be trying pretty much anything & everything. Hopefully we can reach this kid, b/c I don't think (so far) anyone has.

Kim

Just a thought to protect yourself...document document document and also be verbal to other parents that you have notified the higher-ups and are not getting a response/solution from them. Many times higher-ups will JUMP when its other parents complaining as opposed to their own staff. (speaking from the experience of a school-setting, if a parent hollers, the admins pay attention)

[dinah]

it sounds like the child has dificulty with transitions so i would work on limiting the number of transitions and give many warnings about upcoming transitions.

perhaps one of the ss teachers could go directly to the activity room with the child and skip the group praise and worship? or try giving warnings, things like: 'we are going to sing 3 songs and have prayer and then go to do an activity, 'after this song finishes we are going to do the activity', 'in 5 minutes we are finishing here and moving to the other room'. or if your own teaching section has a song, story, prayer, activity, game...maybe this child only participates in the story and the game. maybe he can do something he likes during the other parts.

perhaps also a visual schedule for him might help (something simple - just pictures of singing, prayer, singing, walking, activity or whatever the schedule looks like.

if the behaviour does continue i would document it and make arrangements for the child to stay with his parents in the sanctuary.

[dinah]

i was also going to suggest having a stress reliever for the child to manipulate to help keep calm. maybe a stress ball or even a teddy bear would help.

[shoiji]

I would keep requesting an additional adult or older teen to soley be with the child on a one to one type of interaction. This person could stay with the child during the 20 minutes where they are all together and waiting for another room. Sounds as if there is to much activity for the child all at once. Personally I have always found it annoying, confusing and very loud when there are a lot of people around in one place. Have the additional person stay with the child in a quieter environment until the child's class is already in the new room to join everyone.

You may need to discuss this with the church and parents. But try to let them know you are trying to make things easier for their child and that you will encourage their child to interact with the other children.

[saver]

Wow, that's alot to deal with. I think you should arrange a formal meeting with the other teacher and the superintendent and a paid church staff member. I would tell them what you've said here and say that this child, for the safety and well-being of all concerned, needs to have one-on-one supervision with an adult while in your class. Neither you nor the co-teacher are able to provide this, and the church must come up with a schedule of people who are available to help with this.

Now, they may balk and say its not possible, well then I would make it possible. First, I would put the word out that there is a need for a one-on-one adult for this child or that child cannot be in the sunday school classroom period.

If the church does not take you seriously and won't (not can't cause they certainly can) arrange this, then I would tell each and every parent that there is an issue in their child's class and you will be pulling them out of their church activities so that adequate supervision can be provided to this child.

I've had one or two children in church over the years who would act up, not because of any medical/educational issue, and I've gone directly to the parents and made them come into the classroom for one or two sessions. This was in a church where I also knew the parents well and could count on their participation. That was all it took to nip that behavior in the bud.

Good luck to you, and I would brainstorm any and all solutions to get this addressed and rectified.