waking up hard kid to wake up

**mh3rdwheel** · 10-28-2011, 06:44 AM

My ds Brad is extremely hard to wake up, this morning he laughed at me then I lost my temper, he woke up and punched the wall.

Now I have to fix the wall. DS is very hard to wake up, he stays up late and takes hours to wake up. I worked till 12:30a.m. and got up at 5 to wake him up for work. We have to wake him up early on Tues, Thurs, and Fridays because of work and school.

Any suggestions? Thanks.

**mom21ofeach** · 10-28-2011, 07:09 AM

How old is your ds?

**ml2620** · 10-28-2011, 07:15 AM

Mh, with respect, how old is your son? If he's old enough to be working and strong enough to punch holes in the walls (and fix them by the way), I think he needs to get himself to bed at a reasonable hour and wake himself up or face the consequences (potentially losing a job).

Other than that, I'd set the timer on the coffee pot so the smell of fresh coffee would pull him out of bed and otherwise stay out of the bears way!

**mh3rdwheel** · 10-28-2011, 07:17 AM

Originally Posted by mom21ofeach

How old is your ds?

19, It stresses me and my dh out. My dh has a heart condition. I don't know if ds is not realizing that he is laughing at my attempts to wake him up.

**Labontet** · 10-28-2011, 07:17 AM

I say if he is old enough to work, he is old enough to get himself up in time to go to work.

I have a dd that was very hard to get up when she was younger. I just let her learn to get up by herself. If she was late for work...so be it. She had to learn the consequences. I was OVER her dependence on me. I put too much stress on myself.

Good luck to you.

**mh3rdwheel** · 10-28-2011, 07:21 AM

Originally Posted by ml2620

Mh, with respect, how old is your son? If he's old enough to be working and strong enough to punch holes in the walls (and fix them by the way), I think he needs to get himself to bed at a reasonable hour and wake himself up or face the consequences (potentially losing a job).

Other than that, I'd set the timer on the coffee pot so the smell of fresh coffee would pull him out of bed and otherwise stay out of the bears way!

Ds will be fixing the walls because I will tell our manager at work and have the money taken from his paycheck (the owner of the gas station also owns our apt), if I don't wake him up for work my manager starts calling me and won't let up.

We let him sleep and try to wake up on his own, he had to be at class at 10 a.m., it was noon when he woke up.

Thank you

**mh3rdwheel** · 10-28-2011, 07:25 AM

Originally Posted by ml2620

Mh, with respect, how old is your son? If he's old enough to be working and strong enough to punch holes in the walls (and fix them by the way), I think he needs to get himself to bed at a reasonable hour and wake himself up or face the consequences (potentially losing a job).

Other than that, I'd set the timer on the coffee pot so the smell of fresh coffee would pull him out of bed and otherwise stay out of the bears way!

The days that are hard to wake him up is Tuesday, Thurs and Friday. On Tues and Thurs he has to be at school from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. and on Mon and Wednes nights he works till 12:30 a.m.

Everyones ideas are excellent I will have to think on the best answer,

**mh3rdwheel** · 10-28-2011, 07:40 AM

Thank you all for your help, it was really hard to chose the best answer because they were simular, and both really good ones.

I like the idea of the coffee pot but unfortunately ours doesn't havea timer. The smell of coffee always wakes me up.

I do think we will be having a talk with him if he comes home after work, we will be possibly putting two or three alarm clocks and setting them for different times to go off and let him wake up by himself.

I will keep you updated on how it goes. Hugs to all.

**Darlene** · 10-28-2011, 08:12 AM

You shouldn't be the middle man between your son & his boss.
"I do think we will be having a talk with him if he comes home after work, we will be possibly putting two or three alarm clocks and setting them for different times to go off and let him wake up by himself."
(I put the we in bold print)
He knows the problem & it's up to him to solve it on his own. No we about it, it's all on him.

**Greebo** · 10-28-2011, 08:19 AM

Originally Posted by mh3rdwheel

Ds will be fixing the walls because I will tell our manager at work and have the money taken from his paycheck (the owner of the gas station also owns our apt), if I don't wake him up for work my manager starts calling me and won't let up.

I'm not sure about the legality of an employer garnishing the wages of an employee for a debt that's your responsibility as the tenants.

We let him sleep and try to wake up on his own, he had to be at class at 10 a.m., it was noon when he woke up.

As long as you insulate your son from the problems he's creating, he won't have any problems, you will.

You're enabling bad behavior. Stop it. Let him suffer consequences.

QM · 10-28-2011, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by Darlene

"I do think we will be having a talk with him if he comes home after work, we will be possibly putting two or three alarm clocks and setting them for different times to go off and let him wake up by himself."
(I put the we in bold print)
He knows the problem & it's up to him to solve it on his own. No we about it, it's all on him.

I agree with the above statement. Sorry to sounds so harsh, but...How is your son going to learn to grow up and be a man when you and your hubby are still wiping his a**?

**mh3rdwheel** · 10-28-2011, 09:35 AM

Originally Posted by Greebo

I'm not sure about the legality of an employer garnishing the wages of an employee for a debt that's your responsibility as the tenants.

As long as you insulate your son from the problems he's creating, he won't have any problems, you will.

You're enabling bad behavior. Stop it. Let him suffer consequences.

We don't pay rent, or have a lease, but Gary might garnish wages for damage. I don't know if it is legal.

I love my son and know We will be putting our foot down. After I take my husband to his doctor today, the I will be getting the loudest alarm clocks I can find and setting them up around his room to go off at different times.

DS might not come home till tomorrow, I will try to catch him at work after he gets done. I will also talk to our manager about not calling me when he is late. I know it is not my responsiblity. I feel that my boss will expect me to work for him, it has happened before.

I know that I am enabling bad behavior and I am now will to change it, starting today.It will be hard Greebo, but I am willing to try.

**mh3rdwheel** · 10-28-2011, 09:41 AM

Thank you everyone, this is what i love about fv you don't pull any punches and you are all right. I will let you know how things go.

**Darlene** · 10-28-2011, 09:47 AM

I know tough love isn't easy but I still wouldn't be buying the alarm clocks and setting them.

The whole boss as landlord thing isn't a good thing either.

Glad you are standing up for yourself with the boss as he's been taking advantage of you too. You can't make everyone else happy at the expense of yourself.( they need to be accountable for what they do) It's time for things to change, be strong, you can do this.

**krbshappy71** · 10-28-2011, 11:10 AM

I figure if someone posts it out here they are looking for feedback, it is so great that you don't mind the feedback you get! So many times a person cannot handle what they hear and it sounds like you are trying really hard to listen to the advice you receive, even when its difficult.

You don't have to change the world all in one day, but any of the suggestions that you are willing to try make a difference.

Have you checked out any of the Love and Logic books? They have helped me a lot over the years. They can be used with people of all ages, not just kids. Its a little more difficult with older people as they will buck your attempts to put your foot down and hand over the responsibilities to them (where it belongs) but it is so worth it in the long run. What is Love and Logic for Parents?