Do guys just not get it??

**druidessemily** · 10-02-2007, 11:49 AM

Over the weekend, my husband and I agreed that $150 should be plenty for groceries for the month. Last night we had agreed to bake a full chicken for dinner (and then have meat for a couple meals, and make stock from bones, etc). But on his way home from work, he stopped and picked up a Little Cesears pizza!

Eeeergh. Do guys just not understand that even if pizza is "only $8" (he got breadsticks, too), that still isn't a good deal? For $8, we can have 2-3 different meals, with leftovers from each!

Does anyone have any tips I can use for trying to teach my husband about being frugal? He's been really good with his work lunches, normally he'd go out to eat with coworkers 3-4 days a week, and lately he's been bringing it. So I guess he's getting better.

**frugalfarmwife** · 10-02-2007, 12:00 PM

Honestly? The majority of the time NO they don't get it! Now mind you, I LOVE MY HUBBY but he has that ingrained sense of entitlement and "it's only's"

The only thing that worked for me? I set a HUGE COMMON GOAL! PAY OFF THE FARM!! Then I restricted him to $10.00 every 2-3 weeks for pocket money and a CC for gas ONLY that I keep tabs on online.

I also have dinner planned ALL THE TIME and plenty of snacks/food on hand here at home, oh and I pack his lunch for him!

Good luck,

kj

**justpeachy92** · 10-02-2007, 12:43 PM

Best way I have found to deal with it is to budget a small allowance in for both of us that is ours to blow however we want without having to explain it to the other person. Then is up to dh if he wants to blow his money on pizza knowing there will be a homecooked meal when he walks in the door after work.

**sdrjeolsen** · 10-02-2007, 12:51 PM

Na, I don't think they get it, don't hold your breath that they ever will. I love my dh too, but when he doesn't like what I put in his lunch he hits the vending machine. When he finds out its fish for dinner, he will pack up the kids and head out to eat, even though dinner is on the table when he walks in the door. Makes me mad, but guys can be that way sometimes. Since he travels to China now and his selection is much...different??... than he is used to (I.e. pig eyes, cow tongue, duck feet, etc, lol) he has become better. I guess after that fish sounds pretty good, hehehe. But I don't recommend sending your dh to China to cure him, lol.

Sorry for the frustrations. A monthly allowance helped us to some extent.

**Lorelei** · 10-02-2007, 01:06 PM

Some people just don't get it, but can improve over time. Just keep pointing out costs in a nice manner, stay frugal yourself, and some of it will rub off.

**pip** · 10-02-2007, 01:39 PM

Whenever we DON'T go out to eat, I'll say, "I just saved us 50 bucks by making this meal." Sometimes he sounds appreciative, sometimes he ignores me. Oh, well. It's true!

**mikandmari** · 10-02-2007, 01:49 PM

My husband is very frugal with the small stuff. I'll make hot wings and he'll say 'you just saved us $5' or he'll fix the car and say 'I just saved us $100'.

Sounds perfect? Fooled ya!

His downfall is the big-ticket items!!!

He'll be on the internet looking at sports cars or motorcycles or other expensive crap. I'll ask him why he can't just be cheap and look at porn!

**gentledenny** · 10-03-2007, 10:49 PM

I dont think men get it. Especially if they are the primary breadwinner. The entitlement thing tht was mentioned. However. I think we can be trained espeically if you do mention often about You know if we went to buffalos wild wing and bought this meal it would of cost us 15 bucks. we did it for 3. and then at the end of the month maybe mention that all them 12 bucks savings from so many meals equaled this much of extra money paid on our mortgage or this much extra spend on snowballing the credit cards. and if we hadnt of had pizza those other nights we could of saved this much of interest on the credit card bill..... I also like the ideal about a certain amount of money each person in the family has to blow anyway they want to and they dont have to account for. I think it is sometimes harder for the men to understand cause it seems the woman in this forum are well educated on the finances and deal with it 3-4 times a day trying to save a penny here and a penny here. Where the man isnt involved daily. he might only get the once a month look at the bills and dont understand the daily struggle and scarifice the wife is dealing with. I listen and read these post and grieve for a few of you making these super hard sacrifices. It is easy being frugal if you dont really have to be. SOme of you are supermom's.

**PrairieRose** · 10-04-2007, 08:27 AM

I think in time if you stay focused and show him the small victories like Denny said, he'll begin to get it. Part of it is 'wanting' to get it and he'll get there as well as long as you don't punish him with frugality all of the time. You have to make it fun or he'll revolt......It's not easy, I'll tell ya for sure. But hang in there, it's so worth it when oneday he says something like "couldn't we save a lot of money if we stopped doing such and such?". Then you'll have to practice a lot of self control not to clobber him....but you can just smile and say, well yes, now that you mention it I think we could. (ofcourse it will be something you don't want to give up then.....

)

**guest002** · 10-04-2007, 08:40 AM

A weekly cash allowance is the only way we make it with my dh.

**gentledenny** · 10-04-2007, 10:00 PM

150 dollars a month. WOW that is a awesome goal. can you make it. I am single , hmmm. you know. i dont really keep up with how much i spend. i guess i need to jump on the bandwagon here and tighten up this leak in my income. but 150 dollars. that is let me see. 30 days carry the 9 multipy. OK square root of 12. like jezzzzz. 5 dollars a day. You must have a great garden, raise some piglets. that is just awesome.

**druidessemily** · 10-04-2007, 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by gentledenny

150 dollars a month. WOW that is a awesome goal. can you make it. I am single , hmmm. you know. i dont really keep up with how much i spend. i guess i need to jump on the bandwagon here and tighten up this leak in my income. but 150 dollars. that is let me see. 30 days carry the 9 multipy. OK square root of 12. like jezzzzz. 5 dollars a day. You must have a great garden, raise some piglets. that is just awesome.

Well, I'm not including cleaning products or paper products in that cost, either. We buy toilet paper and paper towels in bulk from Sam's Club about every ten months.

But I hope we keep in budget! I grow a couple of things, but we live in an apartment complex so it's mainly just herbs.

Oh well!

**Jskell911** · 10-05-2007, 07:08 AM

I must be in the minority here. I am more likely to mutter "it was only..." than DH. But I have gotten so much better since we bought the house last year!