Giving/receiving cash gifts???

[steve-in-kville]

If you were a parent with adult children, wold you give them cash gifts?

If you are an established adult, would you except a cash gift from a parent?

How would such practices fit into a frugal lifestyle?

I'm talking about hundreds of dollars or even a few thousand. Not just a twenty in your birthday card!!

I'm in a touchy situation where my parents want to give us some money to help with some large expenses we've had (i.e. medical bills, high cost of heating oil, etc). I initially turned them down but they are insisting that they help.

What to do... what to do...

steve

[carlitasway]

If they have the money and want to give it to you I would let them. I'm giving SIL 50. It's not alot as we can not afford alot but she is a single mom and I feel single moms can always use money. My dh's family usually gives us cash for Christmas. I never feel weird about it.

[Kitten20]

If I knew my parents had the money to "spare" and they were insistent on giving it to me , I would accept it. And if I had children and they were grown, I would help them out if I was able to financially, absolutely - assuming they were responsible and all that.

[Jenna]

My mom gifts us money almost every year. She can afford it, and to be honest - I've started to count on it. I'm 34. My brother is older.

This year I'm hoping to stash it in my ROTH. I make sure I send a Thank You card letting her know how it's being spent. She's been a big financial help in the past, and I'm happy to voluntarily give her updates on my financial life.

I would accept the money so long as there are no strings attached. You don't want them "holding it over your head" that they gave you money.

[stinkbug]

As an adult, I would feel weird about my parents giving me money. Unless I was absolultely destitute, and really in need....I'm not their responsibility anymore. They are retired and have money, and can afford it, but it's theirs and all of us kids keep telling them to spend it!!!

[leezza]

Steve,

If your parents want to give it to you and they are trying to help you out with something such as medical bills, ect.....I say to let them, as long as they have it and it isn't putting them out. Wouldn't you rather have the money than some thing to find a place for?? It sounds like they are just trying to do a good thing, but I can understand that this may not be to easy on the male ego,(no offense ment).

leezza

[LexTysMommy]

I have not gotten cash form my parents as gifts, but I see nothing wrong with it. My mom asks me what I want or need, and works from there.

However my ex's dad used to tell him he had choice either $500 cash for Christmas or a gift of their choice. A couple years he took the money when we were first starting out, but years since he got toolchest, nice watch etc.

I think you should take the money and make sure to know how it is appreciated, and that you will not be accepting every year, if you do not feel comfortable. It sounds like they are just trying to help out. Very nice of them, I hope to do the same for my kids when they get older!

[Cricket1]

Perhaps that want to give it to you now while they're alive and see you put it to good use as opposed to after they've passed away. I used to go out with a guy who's parents had that mentality. I see nothing wrong with accepting it.

My mom doesn't have the money so that would never happen to me. DH's parents do and I would have a hard time taking it from them because then they would make us feel obligated to them.

[monkeywrangler71]

In my family, parents give regular cash gifts to their children regardless of whether or not they need it. My parents give us money, my grandmother gives us money, my grandmother gives my parents money, I will give my children money even when they're grown ups. This is the way we do things, but I know that a lot of other families don't. My ex mil helped us out a couple times when we were starving and she basically kept an ongoing tally of how much her son owed her then used it to try to control him (it didn't work, and he must owe her millions by now). I wouldn't take a gift from someone like that, since it isn't really a gift.

For me, frugality means not wasting resources, so I don't really understand the question about how this fits into a frugal lifestyle. I don't waste the money I receive, and I don't consider giving to be a waste of my money.

[DAAC3DEC]

I have only received one cash gift, due to the fact I was taking my kids on a road trip for their gift and my parents wanted to pay for a couple of nights at a hotel.......other than that we do gifts. I would love cash gifts..


though I do love gifts from "my" parents at gift exchange time since no one knows me like my Mom---she always knows the perfect gift.

[peanut]

As a mother who has adult children and finds herself offering cash gifts, I say take it. The thing is, we've been where you kids are. We know it's not easy. We also know we do not know the intimates of your lives, and we aren't all that sure we want to get into them! There are a lot of people out there who feel bareing their financial soul is a blow to their pride or ego. We don't want to do that to our kids. We just want to help. The money is for you to spend as you like, in my case. When it leaves my hands it's gone...

UNLESS I give it for a specific purpose and I see it being used for something else. Then I'm miffed. But I've decided not to do that anymore. I give smaller amounts that I really don't care about after it leaves my hands.

So if you take the money, I'd say be sure to let your parents know where it went in the end. It sounds like a fair chunk of change.

I'm with the mentality of sharing your money with your family before you die. That's what I hope to do with mine. If I have anything left when I die 50% goes to the government in inheritance tax anyway, so why keep it?

Jean

[Luv2BeFrugal]

If the parents have it and that's what they want to do it's fine. I would love if my parents would help out right now!! We're so tight on money it's scary.

I personally would only feel right (for large amounts) if it was to help out of a situation...debt, medical problems, etc. For smaller amounts (like $50 in a card) then I could take it as "fun money" without a problem (though I'd probably spend it on groceries or gas anyway).

If your parents are in a position to help...let them. In the long run it'll be a better overall situation for your kids...and you... Maybe there's something you all could do as a big thank you? Like paint some rooms in their house, help clean out their garage, etc?

[Mamaw]

If I know of nothing my adult children need for their home or whatever, I often give money or gift cards. I am not in a position to give alot but as an example my youngest ( 25) will get 200 in a neat little box wrapped for a gift. I also got her a gift certificate for gas in her car, one to eat out and 2 little items just to have something to open up. My middle child just bought a new house and she and her hubby have the 2 little ones. I coordinate with her as to what to give the little ones but gifts for her and her hubby were easy as there is a ton they need. My oldest son and his wife, need nothing...want nothing...that to me equates to a few good bottles of wine and gift cards so they can splurge a bit.
More to the point...if parents do not hold it over your head and they just want to help, take the money. It gives us enjoyment to know we are helping out our children and to see them enjoy it. Regardless of how old you may get, you will always be someones "little one". And in the future you will probably do the same for others.

[ms. frugal kugel]

My MIL gives us cash via childcare expense payments when it's Xmas and we are so thankful to get it!

I see nothing wrong with giving cash and a loving note as a gift to someone who needs it, unless there is an addiction issue, then I would just do gift cards (and maybe a tough-loving note).

[isabel.loveday]

I've had to take lots of monetary help from my folks over the years, who have been generous enough to foot some unpayable bills...I think it depends on the relationship one has with their parents, however. Hopefully I'll feel comfortable enough with my children to warrant this kind of exchange.