Living Frugal Or Living Without?

**perSue** · 01-06-2008, 07:11 PM

so reading several posts got me thinking.

sure, we're all saving up for rainy days, vacations, big holidays, special people and many other things.

I think it's great.

But where is the line of being "too frugal/cheap" where you miss out on life?

You know, like you're saving, scrinching and pinching so much that you forget to stop and smell the flowers.
All these other people we discuss, coworkers, family, friends who spend-spend-spend - having nice houses, cars, vacations, clothes, etc.

Are they living in the "now" while some "frugalites" are waiting for tomorrow?

I'd just like to know your thoughts.

**faw42077** · 01-06-2008, 07:25 PM

I pesonally think it's a choice on how you want to live and what's right for each family. I defintely agree that frugality can be taken to an extreme, but for me personally I am frugal but we still have fun. We may not live in the biggest house or drive the fanciest car, but we are happy living the way we live and we don't just live for tomorrow.

I think as long as people are happy in there frugality then that is all that matters

**monkeywrangler71** · 01-06-2008, 08:14 PM

I live this way because I enjoy it. I'm not sacrificing today because I'm saving for tomorrow, I think that I actually am more aware of and happy in the present than if I was a big spender because I am perfectly content with what I have rather than always being focussed on what I want next.

I guess there are a lot of people out there who see frugality as deprivation, and perhaps many frugal people feel deprived. For me, it's not about depriving myself of the things that will make me happy, it's about realizing that happiness doesn't come from things and no longer wanting them.

**Telephus44** · 01-06-2008, 09:10 PM

I think you're right that there are some people who take it too far - I mean, you can't take it with you in the end! I think that as long as your frugal ways make you happy, then you haven't crossed the line. If you have a million dollars in the bank and want to wash out your baggies anyways - go ahead if it makes you happy! But I do think that some people insist on doing frugal things "to save money" when they don't need to and it makes them miserable - I don't need to be miserable :-), especially if I can afford not to be.

I think it's a lot more about attitude.

**Jskell911** · 01-06-2008, 09:20 PM

I love to live frugally, but I do it so that we can be unfrugal in other areas. For instance, I love the challenge of feeding us on under $150 a month, but cannot give up high speed internet. We love our gadgets to a point, but buy yard sale furniture for the most part. Stuff like that.

I am sure there are all kinds of reasons for people who live this way. Some have zero choice and there are some who want to retire early, and some like us who are really frugal in some aspects so they can splurge a bit in others.

**bumplett** · 01-06-2008, 09:39 PM

I agree, I think it's all about the attitude -
I enjoy the challenge of being 'frugal' - it's almost a game as much as it is a way of life - and I hope to teach my children that game as well.

**joyofsix** · 01-06-2008, 09:40 PM

Originally Posted by Jskell911

I love to live frugally, but I do it so that we can be unfrugal in other areas. For instance, I love the challenge of feeding us on under $150 a month, but cannot give up high speed internet. We love our gadgets to a point, but buy yard sale furniture for the most part. Stuff like that.

That pretty much sums up my philosophy. I am frugal in areas that are not important to me so that I can indulge my other interests. If you are allowing yourself nothing you enjoy just for the sake of $$$$ you're missing out on life. I do think that frugality taken to an obsessive level when you are not enjoying it or needing too will make a person unhappy BUT they would probably be unhappy anyway. Quirks show up in all sorts of ways.

**McD** · 01-06-2008, 09:42 PM

I scrimp and save in some areas, so we can splurge in others.

I try and spend as little as possible on groceries, gas, etc. so that I can take my son to the pumpkin patch, the zoo, the corn maze, etc.

It's a matter of decision for each person, they have to decide what is comfortable for them.

If I eat out one less meal a month so that I can buy Wesley a movie that I know the two of us will enjoy--so be it.

Does that answer your question? (I don't mean that flippantly, i just don't feel like I am expressing myself well.)

**perSue** · 01-06-2008, 09:51 PM

thanks everyone...

you all expressed what you intended very well, and rather uniquely!

i guess it's easy sometimes to forget why we're doing what we do.

sometimes i wonder why i'm scrimping on energy, gas, food, etc.... but every year we do get a fun vacation. sometimes we take mini-vacations (road trips!), and all that saving & cutting corners makes it all worth while.

being able to afford a new car, when you need it, rather than keep trying to fix the old one or buying a used one (someone else's problems?), is a huge luxury.

I guess forgetting the "whys" sometimes is why it can seem like i'm missing out on all those other things I hear people talk about.
But what would we be able to do if I bought a starbucks latte daily, ate out all the time and bought new clothes I dont need?!

thanks everyone!

**FrugalMomof3** · 01-06-2008, 10:09 PM

I too am frugal in everything so that I can not be so frugal in other things

It helps me to keep my sanity and not worry so much about paying this or that.

**sdrjeolsen** · 01-06-2008, 10:18 PM

Originally Posted by monkeywrangler71

I live this way because I enjoy it. I'm not sacrificing today because I'm saving for tomorrow, I think that I actually am more aware of and happy in the present than if I was a big spender because I am perfectly content with what I have rather than always being focussed on what I want next.

I guess there are a lot of people out there who see frugality as deprivation, and perhaps many frugal people feel deprived. For me, it's not about depriving myself of the things that will make me happy, it's about realizing that happiness doesn't come from things and no longer wanting them.

Well said! That's exactly how I feel. I really enjoy the trill of a good deal and seeing how long I can make something last. I feel that because I live a simple life that I have more opportunity and time to enjoy the things that matter most to me.

**redhead68** · 01-06-2008, 10:38 PM

My husband and I set a goal to save 30% of our family income. The rest we spend without any guilt whatsoever.

We are down-sizers in that we live in a small house, drive one car, eat a vegetarian diet, use the library, & live a simple, clutter-free life, all to the end that we can drop everything and go ice-skating for the afternoon (not a cheap excursion!) or enroll the kids in gymnastics (also not a cheap activity!). For us, it's about priorities: some things are important, while others are not.

**acidcookie** · 01-06-2008, 10:52 PM

To the extent that it doesn't put me in debt and allows me to save what I plan to save each month, I still spend money on the things I enjoy: Going out with friends, getting the occasional latte that's better than I can make at home, supporting my hobbies, etc. Without these things my life WOULD be dull.

MY idea of frugality is not spending money where I don't need to. So finding good deals, not buying items I just don't NEED to live my life (like paper towels or dryer sheets or fabric softener, etc.). Not paying for expensive gadgets when simple things will do. Not buying STUFF to fill my house.

**Ceashels** · 01-06-2008, 10:56 PM

I explained to DH after he made a comment about us being cheap or frugal. That "cheap" isn't the right word to me it means buying the least expensive because you don't want to part with your money. Frugal means getting the best quality and value for the cost of time and money. By being frugal in the areas I have success at (home energy consumption, cooking from scratch, growing my own veggies, not eating out, etc) means that we can do other things that significantly improve the time we have together. It means we can travel with friends, we can take a class at the local college, we can treat ourselves for a great dinner and make things a special occasion.

I love the reuse, reduce, recycle , and anti-consumerism attitudes that come along with frugality. I would love to expand other peoples horizons when it comes to meeting your needs and making your "wants" something special.

**Dancing Lotus** · 01-06-2008, 11:06 PM

I wanted to post something like this yesterday only I am not so sure I could have said it as nicely as you.

I love the village and I have learned so much here. I could not have made the changes I have made without this place. BUt I have also noticed that I have become too aware of money. I obsess about waisting to the point that I just dont wanna talk about it anymore.

Take my 6 month no spend challenge for example. A year ago a would have never of given it a chance. I would have laughted at the thought and whats more is that I would have thought that anybody who would do such a thing was nut. But I am determed to make it work for me becuase it's the only way I will be able to save the money I need.