Friends that ride for free

[Moi]

Everybody knows that gas prices has gone through the roof, and it's not over yet. I have a small car that doesn't take up a lot of gas. I have figured it costs about $8,000 a year to keep my car on the road.

I have a problem with carless friends or acquaintances that expect to be chauffered around. Some friends of mine have never had a car and whenever we had an outing, I always picked them up at home before and drove them back after the event. They never gave me anything to compensate, as if this was owed to them. These people have very good jobs, and being carless is a choice.

I have decided that enough is enough. Without being rude, I stopped offering rides. Now, if somebody asks me for a ride, I tell them this is the route I am taking. If they don't want to go that route, then I am not going to go out of my way. I have had it. One friend even insisted I waited until she was inside her home when I drove her home at night. I was single at the time and nobody watched over me when I got home. Another one made me stop on the way because she had errands to do, thereby forcing me to re-route my way home. I am neither a taxi driver nor a body guard. Gas and car maintenance are too expensive for me to chauffeur these people around any more. Plus, it is a drag on my time.

I will wholeheartedly help a friend that has a car if he or she has a car problem. In other words, I am willing to drive around only friends that can reciprocate if I have car problems. Otherwise, carless people, with the money they save by now owning a car, can take a taxi.

What do you think?

[Darlene]

If my sister drives I buy her lunch if we stop. If not I'll find some way to compensate her. Your friends need to offer you something in return. It's barter time baby.
Even before the gas crunch it was always a matter of manners to me. Someone does something nice for you, you reciprocate. No question.

[shoiji]

I do understand where you are coming from. When I had a car I would try and help people out who did not have a car. (Usually because they could not afford it.) Anyway it got to the point where they would show up at my place for a ride home not to visit. Also, some would take advantage with the ride and I would end up as a taxi.

It got to be a little nerve racking since I really did not have that much money myself. Between gas and car insurance things were really tight.

You need to do what is right for you. Especially if they are able to afford a taxi. You can also explain that gas is getting really expensive. If they really are your friends they should understand.

Hang in there.

[Jessesbride]

People who are truly your friends will not try to use you esp. in this manner. If they cannot or will not help or provide compensation, too bad for them! BEEN THERE DONE THAT! That is not to say that people that I am friends with that are needing a ride now & then b/c their car is on the fritz or whatever... that I would not help them b/c I would... but I am no one's doormat & neither should you let yourself be! Think of it this way: TRUE friends will be there for you & will help you out as much as possible & vice versa, BUT FAKE friends (in otherwords USERS) are out for how much you can "help" them & they just take & take!

I think that you are doing the right thing!

Kim

[kaykwilts]

Good for you for deciding to no longer be a doormat!

[Edna_E]

I wholeheartedly support you! I have a couple of friends at work who almost always go to lunch together. When I go too, I chip in for gas or buy the driver's lunch. The one who usually drives is a single mom with lower job status (and pay) than the other. The other is married to someone with an extremely good job and is better paid herself, but NEVER offers to help pay for gas. Go figure!

[emily_hope]

I'm sure we've all encountered these types of people. I'm with you. It gets really old when people use you like that. If I have a friend that needs me to help them out on occasion, I am more than glad, but don't turn it into a habit.

[Ceashels]

I think you are doing the right thing and you can explain to them that as you look over the budget, your car is becoming more expensive to maintain and keep on the road. Many people will automatically offer to then pay toward the price of gas if it gets them a ride and if they don't offer, you can say that you will have a service charge of $$$. But I would agree that you can't keep being taxi.

[leezza]

I think you are doing the right thing.....you can't take care of everyone else....it's your car and your bills so I would not feel bad about taking care of business.....you don't owe those folks anything......from what you said it seems like they are taking advantage of you and your kindness, I would say it's time to quit being so nice.

Good Luck,
leezza

[miss_thrifty]

I truly believe that your feinds are taking advantge of oyu. Im gald you put a stop it. they need to realize that not all things are free in life and should give back too.
I have good friends who take me once in awhile shopping or cash my check when hubbys at work but then we do lots for each other. We buy each other cofees or breakfasts at times, I buy small gifts to show them how I feel or make something for them in crafts or food wise. Hubby takes one of our friends daughters to work or school to wheh her mom works. So it always equals out in the end.

[qtkitty]

I worked with a lady and most days i worked the same days as she did and took her back and forth to work because she needed a ride. Well when it started out she was paying me the same she was the other lady who used to drive her but she had said she couldn't anymore because it was to much. $7 a round trip.

While i let them choose the rate then her BF said that $7 a round trip was to much and changed it to $4 i was like fine because that paid for my gas for the week atleast.

I stopped working for the company but still lived in the same trailer park. Then they started not paying at all. I finally after a month of not getting any $ i had to tell them that they had to pay or i wouldn't be able to take her back and forth. They paid me most of the back amount and paid deciently on time not even $4 a time by then and had told us they planned on moving.

I was so dang glad when they moved, cause the lady was really nice and i liked her but her BF was a jack off jerk and i knew it and was cheating on her ect spending all the money on stupid things like sound systems for his truck and what not instead of bills and not working. She was making less then i was ( i knew cause she had showed me her pay check ) and was getting $500 a month allamony from a previous marrage, so it averaged out to what i was making a month so i knew they were tight.

While i was working at the place it was fine taking her back and forth and i would have done it for free, but the days i had off trying to get everything i needed to get done and run her to work got to be a little much. Then when i was no longer working there and trying to run her there every day it really turned into a pain in the BUTT even though she was paying for the gas cost still.

Thing that got me was when we had asked for help moving because we didn't have a truck the ladies BF charged us $150 just to drive back and forth he didn't help pick up anything 2 trips plus $40 to drive me to work once and while out he would ask for more money for gas. Which was back when i had NOTHING we were struggling and had to live in a hotel for 2 weeks because of my Ex bugging us so bad. Going into the house (with a duplicate key i didn't know he had) abusing animals and breaking dishes and generally making a mess, he stole my car and the police told me it was common law since we were not divorced yet and he could take it but if i went and tried to take it then i could get arrested for tresspassing, i had to get a Domestic Abuse Restraining Order and still i was to uncomfortable to stay there. He still charged us out the butt for any little thing, but then didn't want to even pay for gas for their money source to get back and forth to work. ( as if i had the money growing on trees ) We were just more frugal, had plenty of food because we bought to make from scratch ect so i think they thought we had money *lol* Fooled them.

[latierra84]

well put! good for you for taking your stand, stick with it.

[Tango]

I don't like people that expect a free ride all the time either. I have a co-worker, who I don't consider a friend, who has the nerve to be standing beside my car for a ride home after work. I've been nice so far but someday soon I'll just end up telling her off. She the rudest mooch I have ever encounted.
___________________
Krissy

[FrugalWitch]

DH has the perfect saying for this situation "A$$, grass, or cash baby. Nobody rides for free"
Sounds like something from the 70s to me.

[guest002]

Good for you. You are not a taxi service.