When you were spending, what was your mindset?

**ironmaiden** · 02-06-2008, 10:17 AM

When you were a spender, what did you think about spending more than you could pay off each month? Did you not think about it? Did you just say that everybody is doing it so it must be okay? We'll make more money later on and pay it off then?

What made you "see the light" and come here? What thought process made you decide to change your ways?

**bamber** · 02-06-2008, 10:20 AM

Most of my debt came from needs; gas to get to work/school, groceries when I had just bought the books, etc. I just never got ahead enough to pay it off because the next check went to that month's groceries, you know? I have never been a big spender. Occasionally, I would go on a shopping spree, and what did I tell myself? I would say, I have not bought anything for myself, I've been working hard for months, I deserve it.

The reason I came to this board is because moving out my expenses increased when my income decreased...so you get the idea.

**thrifty gal** · 02-06-2008, 10:28 AM

When I was spending, overspending anyways, was usually because I thought I deserved it. Hated seeing everyone else have the name brand clothes, the expensive purses, etc. And, I would go for a long time without shopping, and then it would be like a binge. I'd go to WalMart, and clothing stores, and charge a ton. I'm still working on being more frugal, but I'm sooo glad those days are over!!

**stinkbug** · 02-06-2008, 12:16 PM

Years ago when I had spending problems, I was married to my ex. I was compensating for a crappy life. Once I left him...one my own, I had no problems, good credit and haven't had a problem since. And, as a single parent, I really had no choice. Frugality was a necessity.

**Edna_E** · 02-06-2008, 12:18 PM

Just call me Scarlett! "Tomorrow is another day!" Mostly I was just heavily into escapism. I'm not too sure what woke me up.

**Holly** · 02-06-2008, 12:27 PM

Just trying to make ends meet.
Now I make ends meet.

**VanVivCam** · 02-06-2008, 01:18 PM

I came to this board when i was quiting my full time job year before last. i was looking for some good frugal ideas...i had NO idea how this board would change my life and my mind set on spending money. My hubby loves that i come here.

**mikandmari** · 02-06-2008, 01:50 PM

I figured that having some debt was no big deal. We weren't having any problem making payments, even big payments. In addition to our jobs, we had a side business and a few rental properties, both bringing in decent money. We were running with the big dogs... with the attitude that "it takes money to make money".

But we were running ourselves ragged. We worked around the clock. Our kids had nice stuff, but we seldom took them on vacation. Tenants called in the middle of the night with broken heaters.

I decided I wanted a simpler life!!

Then I added up the amount of debt, and the monthly finance charges

. Then I realized that even though our house has doubled in value, we still owed the same amount that we had purchased it for... rather than it going down, because of 2 refinances (and equity means very little in a bad real estate market)

.

We sold the rentals. The business is scaled back so that it still exists, but doesn't rule every weekend. We make much less money, but I'm much more content. I bake from scratch, and we don't go out as much. I'm still downsizing everything... it doesn't happen overnight! I hope to be debt free in 4 to 5 years.

Ironically, we have good friends who were living the exact same lifestyle... side business, rentals, etc. They refused to slow down, they were determined to be wealthy. They ended up filing bankruptcy. Now they are getting onboard with the simple life... but not exactly by choice.

**StartingOver** · 02-06-2008, 02:19 PM

I spent with the mindset of "THERE IS ALWAYS TOMORROW" my dh made great money and we never really gave it a second thought. Then he lost his job and was unemployed for 18 months. Boy, that was a wake up call to the both of us.

He now has a job he really enjoys, but his salary is less than half of what we were accustomed to. I found this board while doing a google search on ways to live on a budget, how to create a budget etc.....

Through the tips I found on this board and actually implementing them, we are finally able to see the "LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL"....it's not happening fast enough for me, but I'm happy and content and I know we'll do this together. I'm excited at the idea of having a plan, and seeing the balances decrease each and every month!

**dancar3** · 02-06-2008, 02:51 PM

Well for me, I just didn't realize we were spending more than what we were bringing home...talk about not being aware! I never really was a big spender though. I would buy some items from online retailers here that wasn't expensive, not reailzing though that we still didn't have the money for it. We would go out eat about every 2 weeks and buy stuff at the convenience stores...........not big purchases at all! So I guess my mindset was uninformed!

**Starlight9803** · 02-06-2008, 03:17 PM

DH and I both fell into the "we work so hard that we deserve it" thing, and for me, that meant lots of little expenditures which I rationalized by saying, oh $30 for this won't matter on the bills, $25 on this won't make a difference (and oh I was so wrong). DH, on the other hand, likes to buy "toys" (campers, classic trucks, boats, etc) that he "deserves" and for a long time I let him get whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. I finally had that "ah-ha" moment when we had our first child and I didn't know where the next meal would come from. Needless to say, I changed!

**prairiewife** · 02-06-2008, 03:19 PM

When I was overspending I think I did it because I felt I deserved to have some extras. I also worked for a family that was very well off, new vehicles every couple of years, new custom built home, ate out all the time etc.. I was single and struggling to make payments on an older house I had bought and had a car that ran on prayers and tears. I simply felt sorry for myself and refused to believe I was building up cc debt that I couldn't pay off.

Well, now I'm with my wonderful fiance a very simple man who could care less about keeping up with the Joneses. He has taught me that the quality of our life doesn't revolve around the things we own.

We've set some goals for the future like owning property and a house. We don't have much but are very happy together and getting our finances in order and saving for our future are top priority. It's amazing how once you have goals and a plan things start to turn around.

**Marie78** · 02-06-2008, 06:18 PM

I didn't think I deserved it when I was overspending, I had to buy food and gasoline for my car to get to my 2 and sometimes 3 jobs that I worked in order to pay: rent, college loan, utilities, health insurance, car maintenance & insurance. I have never lived richly in my adult life, at least not with material items. I feel like my family makes my life rich. If I had found Frugal Village several years ago I might have had more ideas to save a dollar and have less debt to speak of today

.

**sumdumsurfer** · 02-06-2008, 08:25 PM

When I was a student I told myself that this was the best money I'll ever spend. Even for vacations - I told myself I wouldn't have time for long surf trips after I got a "real job", so I traveled more then. I became a master of juggling the credit-card courtesy check.

As a worker... I don't think I spent too much time thinking about what I was spending. I kept a rough monthly count in my head (and thought I was basically okay), but I don't think I was accounting for all my yearly expenses and "one-time" purchases...

I'm still trying to figure that one out.