How do you get your kids to clean their rooms?

**Daisygirl** · 02-17-2008, 10:06 AM

It is sheer utter agony to get my kids to clean their rooms...

The routine includes: bribing, threatening, yelling, and stalking in with a garbage bag.

Yes, I know, not mother of the year material!

DD12 has actually taken in boxes to declutter and seems pretty into it this time. DD7 is just kind of staring at the wall, picking up a thing here and there. Their rooms are DISASTERS! They have now been working on their rooms for 3 days straight, since after school on Friday. I know I could go in like always and have each of them done in an hour or so but that is not going to teach them anything.

What do YOU do to get your kids to get (and keep) their rooms clean?

PS: Easy-access storage abounds in both bedrooms!

**ladykemma2** · 02-17-2008, 10:14 AM

speaking as a schoolteacher, do they know how? sometimes it seems easy and obvious to us, but insurmountable to them.

break it into chunks.

start small, like, "all blocks in here! 5 minutes to get all blocks in here! ready go!"

"all doll parts in here, ready go!"

and remeber that most humans can only pay attention for twenty minutes.

**LexTysMommy** · 02-17-2008, 10:24 AM

Can you go in there and show them how to? offer to help them, and while you are in there they will clean better. Give them a plastic bag tell them to fill it with garbage, then give them 5 minutes to work on that. Then give them another bag to put toys they want to donate, or sell in it.

The rest needs to be looked at and made sure has spot or somewhere for it to go. Do you have big toy box that they can throw all girlie stuff, barbies etc.

What is it that is messy in there? My dd is an art freak. SO paperwork is every where. I gave her canvas tote and all her art stuff goes in there, when its full I actually go through it when she is gone, and storing or sorting.

Good luck!

**Jskell911** · 02-17-2008, 10:32 AM

Ok, I feel your pain, first off! My 11 yr old DS is a SLOB. Some of it is his lack of executive function skills due to his Aspergers. He literally has zero organizational skills.

So, we do have to break it into chunks. One day he puts laundry away. Next day, we have to see his floor (LOL). Another day all of his games need to be put where they belong. Etc.

It's not perfect, but for now it works.

**suki** · 02-17-2008, 11:05 AM

LOL, after 18 years of struggling with this and trying everything in every book... I still have no answers. My daughter's dorm room is a disaster! I tried it all, reward charts, cleaning time together, no fun till the room's clean, etc, etc! Both daughters stated emphatically when we remodeled and they got their own rooms that they would have tidy rooms because the other was responsible for the mess in the room they shared. Ha! Both rooms were messy.

But, they still both clean up at least once a week on the weekend because that is habit.

If you figure it out... patent the idea and sell it!!!

**Daisygirl** · 02-17-2008, 11:35 AM

Well, the garbage bag threat worked. you can actually see DD7's floor! I had nearly forgotten what it looked like.

We have plans to get loft beds built, full of wonderful storage underneath. All DD7's toys will be stored under the bed, with a curtain to hide it all.

DD12's is being made out of two long flat dressers, with shelving on each end. I can't WAIT until I have the extra money to get that done.

For now though, I am going to resort to daily inspections. Nothing good will happen until the room is completely tidy. no Brownies, no gymnastics, no TV and no playing outside. I figure it won't take long for it to become a habit. (if this is wishful thinking, don't tell me!)

**amykhar** · 02-17-2008, 11:53 AM

Generally, with the younger kids, I help them clean their rooms and they are expected to help me clean in other areas of the house. On weekends when we are cleaning, we just hit it all as a team. Yep, they grumble, but because I am working too, it's not as much of a grumble.

With the older kids, they eventually learned that when I clean a room, I reach a certain point where I get bored and would rather throw things away than put them away. After I threw out 12 large bags of 'treasures' from my oldest daughter's room, she quickly learned that if I was making noises about cleaning her room, she would get to it first.

**Darlene** · 02-17-2008, 12:32 PM

After all the yelling etc. I just decided as long as they don't have food in there, their room was their responsibility. I just closed the door.

Also helped when I'd warn them that Grandma would be coming over or on their own they knew that friends were coming too. They didn't want to be embarassed.

**YankeeMom** · 02-17-2008, 01:44 PM

I go in & help them.

I'm to the point with 15yo dd that I don't have to help her. She just does it. She's been that way for a few years. I still have to help 13yo dd every couple of months or so to clear out clutter.

My boys, 9 and 6, definitely need constant help & direction. If I just said "clean your room" they would look at me blankly lol. My 9yo is starting to take the initiative and keep their rooms (bedroom & toy room) relatively neat.

**Dancing Lotus** · 02-17-2008, 01:52 PM

My dd has been cleaning hers for three days also.
I give her one task to do at a time. I tell her pick up all the paper and put it in this basket. When that is done I tell her to pick up all the game pieces and put them in the box. The problem is that by the time she finishes job B , job A has to be done all over again.

Good luck to ya~!

**sweetlittle** · 02-17-2008, 02:31 PM

I've found that for our family to not have a lot of toys or stuff in their rooms works the best. We have 3 bedrooms for 4 children. They are allowed to have things (toys and papers) in their rooms as long as it stays neat. Nothing on the floors, drawers closed, closets neat, beds made. The oldest gets to have more because he can organize better (he's 8). I still help show them where things should go and that they can only have so much in order for it to stay that way. Then every night I go through a daily chart that they mark if they have done their chores. Part of the chore chart is to keep their rooms neat. They love doing really well (A's are the best and can get and A plus if they've help someone in some way). All I do is walk by each room to check them. Maybe like the other posts stated, they don't know how or where to keep things and need more of a sense of accomplishement. Also, they have a "habit" of doing things a certain way so you'll have to teach them differently. I don't mean to sound so preachy but this has worked great for us and we really don't have a problem. Hope you are all feeling better about home soon.

**jamie79** · 02-17-2008, 02:51 PM

Thsi was never an big issue for me because I threatened to go in their rooms with a trash bag and clean it if they didnt. They tested me and some of their stuff that I thought was junk and trash got thrown out. After that cleaning their rooms every Sunday was not that big a deal

**Daisygirl** · 02-17-2008, 03:33 PM

I see I'm not the only garbage bag mom here!

**kaykwilts** · 02-17-2008, 04:51 PM

I can't get my 15 yo dd to clean her room. I've tried everything. She just doesn't want to do it. Even cutting her off from myspace hasn't helped.

**kiveve** · 02-17-2008, 05:02 PM

I recently found out about the House Fairy (www.housefairy.com) -- She's been working wonders at our house with my 7 year old!

The House Fairy is Santa's sister -- she helps children keep their room clean by coming and inspecting the rooms when they are asleep or not at home. If the room is messy, she just leaves a little fairy dust. If it's clean she may leave a surprise or an encouraging note. So far, it's been great! Might not work for bigger kids, but for my 7 year old it's just right.