Do you feel a bit guilty making large purchases

**Mamaw** · 03-02-2008, 09:01 AM

I am wondering if any of you have a moment of hesitation or guilt when you make a larger purchase, even if it is planned for?
As some of you know, I have 2 wonderful grand daughters. When the first was on her way, I made up my mind that I would buy her a Barbie motorized car when she was old enough. DH and I saved change and when she was 2 1/2 we took her out and got her the Barbie jeep. So of course, I had every intention of doing the same for the second little one. Maddie is now 2 1/2 so I discussed the car with her parents. They felt that since they already have the 1 car which is in perfect condition, the girls could share it. They prefered we use the money to put toward a playhouse for the girls instead.
The girls are crazy about the Disney princesses, so I found a great princess play house that is like a castle at toys r us. On line it is 399.99 but I found it on clearance at the store for 299.99 which saves me not only the obvious 100 bucks but also shipping on that item. Hence, this afternoon DH and I are going to the store to grab that baby up! Again, we have saved change and have the cash to pay for this and I get great enjoyment from buying it. But I do feel kind of guilty since I could, in theory, put this cash toward debt..

All that being said and done, of course I am buying the playhouse and I am looking forward to spending time playing in it with the girls. And I realize that I don't really feel guilty spending more money than I should at the thrift stores and garage sales/flea markets. If anything I spend more during the year at this kind of thing....hummmmmmmmm I really need to start only buying items that are needs....not wants or impulse buys at those places.....

Do any of you have this kind of guilt or hesitation when making a planned for and budgeted for purchase......

**mombottoo** · 03-02-2008, 11:01 AM

I have a sweatshirt with the following message on the front: "Grandma's Rules: 1) Buy them presents 2) Feed them sweets and 3) Send them home

I spoil my grandkids I suppose. I buy them things I couldn't afford to buy my own children for all the obvious reasons. When my kids were little, money was very tight and it's not so tight anymore. Could I pay the money towards debt? Yes, but my grandbabies will only be little for a short while and if I can buy them things that their parents can't afford well then I guess I will probably continue to do it.

As far as guilt goes, I never feel guilty for buying things for others...however, I always feel guilty if I buy something for myself.

**peanut** · 03-02-2008, 11:22 AM

Yep. Now we have some money (mortgage paid out, inheritance, etc.) I am having a hard time adjusting to the increased income and buying quality items. I have to really justify it by buying them on sale. I just hate paying full price for them. I feel like such a spendthrift...sigh.

Jean

**Samigirl** · 03-02-2008, 11:43 AM

We don't buy a lot of gifts throughout the year (mostly birthdays and Christmas), but I don't feel guilty when I buy for others. It gives me great satisfaction; and I usually spend way too much, but that's okay. Sometimes, I'll feel regret in buying a present for someone whom I know isn't going to appreciate it. In the past, I have had children (not mine) throw royal fits (screaming and crying) over the fact that they didn't like what we bought them. They were very nice gifts; mind you, not anything cheap....just not what the child "ordered". That's when I wish I would have used the money on my debts instead.

You shouldn't have guilt buying a playhouse if you can afford it, and if it gives you pleasure to give it your grandchildren. I'm sure you'll have great fun playing in it together. My dad made me a playhouse when I was little. I loved that thing! Most of my favorite childhood memories are tied to that precious house.

**Telephus44** · 03-02-2008, 01:55 PM

I only feel guilty if it isn't well thought-out or researched. If I had been thinking about buying it, or have compared models/prices/etc and know what I'm getting, then I don't feel guilty at all. We bought a digital camera 4 years ago for almost $1000. However, we spent 6 months comparing various models, and then looking at different stores to see where they had the best price, return policy, service warantee, etc. And four years later, even though digital cameras have come a long way since then, we're still happy with it. Even thought I wasn't happy at the time to part with $1000.

OTOH, if I were in a store and saw something I just wanted and bought it right then and there, I would feel guilty if it were a large purchase.

**Samigirl** · 03-02-2008, 02:00 PM

I meant to add, that I usually feel guilty when buying for myself...whether it be a large or small purchase.

**Marie78** · 03-02-2008, 02:33 PM

I think it's normal to question purchases, at least normal for those of us here at FV

. I feel better about purchases when I have planned for them or researched them and can pay for them with cash. Then I have no guilt and no remorse over the purchase.

I feel things are expensive and quite overpriced. Growing up my family and extended family were not well off. My parents were frugal then and I learned a lot about frugality in the first 8 years of my life. I remember my mom draping an old comforter over the picnic table and my sister and I played under that like it was a fort. We were short and this was fun and possible until I was around 8 years old. You don't have to give kids everything and spend a lot of money to make moments special in a child's life. I wish my grandparents had played with me more. I think it's nice that you saved for such a special gift, and if that's the last big ticket item you buy them it will be enough as long as you play with them and pay attention to them, that's what children will remember most as adults

.

**Mamaw** · 03-02-2008, 04:50 PM

Thanks all. I drive from Penna to Ohio every other weekend to spend time with the girls. We play, watch Disney movies, do crafts and cuddle. And of course take long walks, go to the park, go swimming, run through the sprinkler and go to different events. I agree that there is nothing more important than spending time with them. The playhouse is in the truck now and I am feeling much better about it!