Am I a bad parent for not saving for kids...

[lovestolaugh]

I do not have a savings account for either of my two kids college. It's not that I don't want them to go to college, on the contrary, are kids understand that college is a must. I just don't think it is neccessarily a parents responsiblity to write that check. Am I wrong? I have every intention of helping the kids as much as I can. However, I believe that it is their responsibility to earn their way through. If they have to start at a junior college or join ROTC or attend a college in co-op plan, I think it should be on them. I have family that write the check for their kids and I also have family that can't afford to write the check but their kids found other ways to get through withour incurring a lot of debt. I find that my nephews who have to earn college themselves are maturing faster and appreciating school more than the ones with the "free" ride. What do you guys think?

[AmyBoz]

I respect your opinion, yet you've asked for mine, so I'm going to share it.

I find it difficult to tell my children "This is something that I value and that I think is really important, but I'm not going to help you achieve it."

I know we could never save enough money to fully pay for our three children to attend college. They will have to pay for part of it, whether through loans or working, etc. However, we have started savings accounts for the kids where birthday money, savings bonds, etc. go to help them save. As soon as we are done with daycare, we'll be starting an official college savings plan for each child as well. We aren't shouldering the burden completely, but will help because education is something that we value and we'd like to be able to allow the kids to focus as much as possible on the education.

So, that's my two cents. Everyone has their own opinion on this and different solutions will work for everyone.

[cissylu]

my so is raised he put his self thru gasden tech took electrial . now work`s for the railroad.
I feel it is something they should do mostly on there own.

[YankeeMom]

My children have seen me pay for my own college. They know it is expected of them to foot most of the bill for their college.

Will I support them? Yup.
Will they live at home if they can? Yup.
Will I help them pay for the tuition/books along the way should they come up short? Yup.
Am I going to pay the whole thing so they have no clue what really EARNING something means? Hell no.

No, I don't think you are a bad parent for not saving for their college education.

[erstbrmom]

We plan on paying for community college for two years and then the kids have to get loans for the last two years. They will have to work also. My high school age daughter works on weekends and puts 50% of her check into the bank for college. The other 50% is her gas money and spending money. These days it's mostly gas money though.
I know it's hard for my daughter because of our community. A huge majority of kids will go to 4 year schools with their parents paying their way. But that's just now our reality and she knows she doesn't want to get out of school with big debt especially since she wants to major in elementary ed and the paycheck is not huge.

[yankeegal]

We have helped them, but in no way do we fully fund it-that is impossible with some tuitions topping $40,000. You should not feel guilty.

[Bethany]

I can see both sides, however, just because parents pay, doesn't mean some kids don't appreciate it and still do their best. My parents paid my tuition in full. I lived at home for free. It was a state school. I paid for my car, gas, insurance, books and anything else along the way. I totally appreciated what my parents did for me and I never made a choice not to study or fully apply myself just because someone else was footing the bill. My husband and I are fortunate enough to have good jobs where we can atleast help our kids, so I will help. If you choose not to help, that's fine. It's a choice. No right or wrong answer. I think that we all just do our best as parents.

[mombottoo]

When I went to college I paid for it, my kids if they wanted to go found ways to pay for it...although we did help out if necessary. I feel you tend to value something a lot more if you are the one footing the bill. Parents can help out with college expenses in a lot of different ways other than footing the tuition, etc...being able to live at home FOC while attending school is a big help and is all any child should expect once they are out of high school...JMHO.

[lovestolaugh]

Thanks for the quick and honest responses! I just want to add that the kids have their own savings accounts that are for college. They are required to put half of all allowance, gift money and future earnings in this account. We have taught them how cd's help them earn money on their money and they both watch their ING accounts regularly! They also have an educational IRA that their grandparents opened for them. They contributed to them until they both retired. I think they are both worth about $5000. So they won't be starting out at 0. It's just that I have friends that think I should be putting money into a college account myself. I don't agree. Even if I could afford said account, I just don't think it's my responsibility. My parents nor my husbands parents paid our way. Did they help? Of Course and we will too. I just think that part of the problem today with kids and an entitlement attitude is our fault. We parents want to make it easier on our kids than we had it, but what we forget is that the struggle we went through helped build our character. I think we take that opportunity away from our kids and then we all wonder how our kids get these bad attitudes. Just my opinion!

[nodmicks]

I will help my kids as much as I can and I fully expect we will be able to to a degree. However we do not have college accounts set up yet. We are 38 and have less than 15K for retirement. We are doing enough paying for braces in full, school activities,staying debt free and buying the day to day stuff. We are currently saving 6% to retirement accounts. I don't see where college savings accounts can fit.
I refuse to stop funding retirement to save for college because it is 100% guaranteed we will retire eventually.

[Michelle68]

I always tell my DS that we are saving for his college by paying off our home early. That way we can help him financially while he's in college. (He's only 12, but he's already asking if we are putting money away for it.) He will be expected to get scholarships and save money when he can start working to also help pay for his education.


--Michelle

[Jskell911]

My children have seen me pay for my own college. They know it is expected of them to foot most of the bill for their college.

Will I support them? Yup.
Will they live at home if they can? Yup.
Will I help them pay for the tuition/books along the way should they come up short? Yup.
Am I going to pay the whole thing so they have no clue what really EARNING something means? Hell no.

No, I don't think you are a bad parent for not saving for their college education.

Pretty much sums up what I feel too. I will definately help as much as I can, but I won't put second and third mortgages on my house.

[Dancing Lotus]

Lets see.... both dh and I could have had free rides. We blew it.

Today, dh works his tail off. Sells his things to raise money and stays up all hours of the night. We PAY for it. We pay for it with not just money but blood sweat and tears. He has a 4.0 GPA .

I cant speak for any one else but it sure does make me value education.
My girls both have a prepaid plan already paid for. It covers 2 yrs community and 2 yr university. It was a gift from grandma. Beyond that I expect them to earn what they need. I personally wouldn't have bought the plan.

I think those who earn it do better, but again thats just from my experience. And no I don't think you are a bad mom.

[justpeachy92]

My children know that we value an education and expect them to go to college. They know that we will help them out as much as we can, though we do not have college funds for the kids. We invest and save as much as we can for our retirement, so we don't become a financial burden on our children in the future.

[jamie79]

Well this was never a choice for us. We had to pick our retirement over the kids college education. I now have a kid in college. Hes a scholarship kid. He has a summer job that pays well and we help out where we can.