This is so frustrating

**fernykins** · 07-01-2008, 11:22 PM

Heres the story. We don't offten get to see my granddaughter Julia. Her mother doesn't allow it. So my son drives over 300 miles to pick her up. So they get back down her and her mother is calling her every 3 hours. Saying your cats miss you ...... then its your little brother. you get the picture. so after talking to her mom 6-8 times a day its I want to go. Now her mom knows exactly what she is doing. My dgd doesn't she's to young. So mom decides to come and pick her up wanting my so to give her gas money to come get her. Its almost like she is afraid of what her dd might tell her dad. It makes me so angery.
Fern

**larabelle** · 07-01-2008, 11:29 PM

I hear your frustration!! Possibly as your granddaughter gets older this situation will change as she will realize what her mother is doing.
On the flip side I am rather envious of you. No one in my family has seen my niece in over #10 years. My brother and his girlfriend split up ten years ago and each took one of my nieces. His girlfriend married and has chosen to exclude us from her life. My brother does not see the need in pursuing a relationship with this daughter. My mother longs to see this child. It is all very sad.

**pip** · 07-02-2008, 12:16 AM

Do you have to put her on the phone every time her mother calls? What if you were busy or not home for some of the calls. That would drive me crazy. I know that it would probably be just be playing another game to avoid some of the calls, but it sure would be tempting! I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

**Momof3girls** · 07-02-2008, 12:48 AM

Oh that is so sad.

**leezza** · 07-02-2008, 01:13 AM

Fern,

All I can say is, "Voice Mail". Don't let the Ex take time away from your son and you......and for sure don't let him give her money to pay for her gas......YEESH, what is wrong with that woman???? I know I am sure it's a long story......

Maybe you and your son should give her some of her own medicine????

I know I am not being a nice person but neither is she.

Take care Fern and I hope you were able to enjoy some of your time with your DGD.

Kind Regards,
leezza

**fernykins** · 07-02-2008, 01:16 AM

larabelle I feel your sadness in not being allowed to be part of your neices life........ The first year of my dgd life we were not allwed contact but then mom needed a babysitter and she had no one so I was good enough for that. Thats how we started to get to see her. I also don't have contact with my brothers 4 girls because of the mom her choice. I could understand if my son abused his children or my brother, but thats not the case. I think a child needs to know their parents and let them make up their own mind. On my dgd I think she is afraid she will say something shes not surpose to. Her stepdad is a big A**.
Fern

**Mom23boys** · 07-02-2008, 12:42 PM

AWW Fern! I am so sorry you do not get to share much time with your granddaughter. I know that must be frustrating.

Is there a court order in place that says that your DS gets custody of her from this time to this time? For example, does it say the father will have her one week out of the summer in July? If there is something stating this, I would remind the ex of the clause in the custody papers.

**Izzy0906** · 07-02-2008, 12:52 PM

If your son has a custody agreement where he gets visitation, he should tell his ex that she is limited to ONE call and her daughter will call her. I never call my daughter when she's with her father (she would want to come home). I'm sorry you barely get to see her but honestly, it's your sons place to do what's right for him to be able to see his daughter.

**heartofmine** · 07-02-2008, 01:18 PM

I agree with Izzy. If your son has a custody agreement and is paying his child support then she can't do that. Your son needs to limit her calling to only once during the day and make sure she's not laying on the guilt trip to the child. Its so unfair to her. Good luck thoughts and prayers for you all.

**pkellyc** · 07-02-2008, 02:23 PM

Emotional blackmail Fern, you have every right to be angry. I have a niece that withholds her dd her grandparents. Makes me angry and hurts not only my brother and his wife but is taking away from their grandchild as well.

**itsahumanzoo** · 07-02-2008, 02:31 PM

I agree. Just don't put her on the phone, or don't answer. If you're not required to answer the phone, then don't. You could be out somewhere, or eating, or whatever. She doesn't need to ruin her daughters trip when she could be having a great time with her family.

**cab54** · 07-02-2008, 02:35 PM

I agree--let the machine get it.

**AmyBoz** · 07-02-2008, 02:36 PM

I don't have any sage advice...just wanted to offer you hugs and agree that this situation sucks.

**Russ** · 07-02-2008, 02:39 PM

unplug the phone.

**Suzy** · 07-02-2008, 03:40 PM

Even though our kids are older, it is in the court papers that the KIDS may call when ever THEY want. And that the parents may call IN CASE OF EMERGENCY.