What do you wish you knew before you were married?

[Rebookie]

I wished I had really understood that people don't change and it's wrong to think that they will. If I wasn't happy before marriage, I will still be in the same boat after.


AND no matter how much of a asshole your MIL is... Always respect her, because it's respectful to your spouse.

[lgw]

First: I wish I had known about his significant mental illnesses, which were in remission when we met but came back with a fury shortly before we married: paranoid schizophrenia, bipolar. He'd been diagnosed at 15, but no one -- not him, his parents, or sisters -- told me about them until after we divorced.

Second: That even when you are married to a good man, there is no "perfect" marriage. It takes work. A lot of hard work.

[PaulaMM]

I wish I had appreciated earlier on in our relationship that we, as a couple, could simply not be compared to any others. I held off marrying my DH for a long time because of the examples of marriage set by my family. (Mom married 3 times, Dad married and divorced 4 times, sister married 4 times, another sister engaged to be married to DH #3)

I also tended to critique the quality of our relationship, negatively, against couples I thought had it "right". Over the years, I've learned that perfect couples usually aren't perfect at all. I've learned that some real nastiness can go on behind pristine facades. I've learned that my DH and I, in our laidback, low maintenace, less than perfect in appearance relationship, have it pretty good.

[Ali Lee]

I wish I had known what a rotten father he would be......