I did something.....

mandi0808 · 12-11-2008, 09:52 AM

So my BF and I live together. We moved here to Tampa six months ago from Dallas.
He has not always been the most consistent person when it comes to working.
He ran his own construction company back in Texas and basically drove it into the ground.
And when money has been tight he has always refused to get a real job. He always says he will work it out and find something.
I could never understand why he wouldn't just take a job somewhere. But he would eventually earn money to pay the bills.

Well his construction business that he started here in Tampa has finally bitten the dust. He has been doing odd jobs here and
there for money, but has basically just been living off of me and my paycheck now.
We have gone round and round about him working and now he tells me he is "formulating a plan" to get a new job as a bus boy. WTF??
How do you formulate a plan to get a job as a bus boy??

I'm pretty much done with him at this point. He won't work, won't help around the house, won't do anything.
He has now taken to staying up all night on the computer and sleeping all day. And living off my dime.
And he is not paying any of his bills. He has let all of his bills go, including his child support, which infuriates me.
He has told me repeatedly during the time we have been together that he has been paying his child support.
He swore to me just a few weeks ago that it was paid up.

I found out that he has not been paying it at all!
He is $80,000 behind!!!!
AND he has not filed a tax return in 10 years!!
And he has also lied to his ex and his kids about still being in Texas.
And now he has a court date in Texas next month over the child support.
They are probably going to put him in jail for it.
And he is now basically hiding out here in Tampa so he won't have to take responsibility for any of it.

Soooo....
I emailed his ex and gave her all of his info and our address.
She was stunned. And grateful.
Now the courts know where to find him, and next month he will most likely go to jail for quite a while.

And he has no idea I did this. I haven't told anyone...

StaceyS · 12-11-2008, 10:00 AM

You're probably freaking out right now - but be assured you did the right thing! My ex is "hiding out" somewhere in Tennessee. Hasn't paid child support in over 15 years. You'll sleep better when it's over. Hugs!

QuarterPounder · 12-11-2008, 10:04 AM

Before I post my honest reply, First I will post this...............
I have a friend who's hubby is fined by the state of ca for not having his payday's to their specifications!!!!! They want the $ on the first, he gets paid every 2 weeks but it rarely falls on the 1st!! So they fine him for that, he has the child support taken out of his check by the co. and sent directly to ca.....and has not gotten to see his kids in 5 years!!!! Their tax returns, stimulus checks are always taken, every year, the whole thing!!!!
Then there is my ex!!! Air traffic controller for 22 years, crapped out when we got divorced so he didn't have to pay child support, then mooched off of everyone in his family till they were tired of him, $30 grand later, the courts and child support services in Oregon still do NOTHING to punish him for his lack of parenting responsibility!!! He does not call, he does not send birthday or Christmas presents!
So, on some advise I got here, don't remember from who, I told him, " Deal of a lifetime, I will drop the child support order, you pay the $30 grand you owe and disappear out of the kids lives forever!!!" Well, surprisingly enough, he has since got a job, and has started paying child support!!!!!(after his 12 year old daughter told him, "Your worthless, all you do is lie to us and hurt us, and I think your an A$$hole")
SO, good for you, you did the right thing, those kids do not deserve to go without.
I, for 1, am proud of you, and only wish several of my ex's girlfriends had the ball's to do the same!!
Now kick him to the curb and find your prince charming!!!!!!

Patty A · 12-11-2008, 10:06 AM

I think you have come to the point where you are looking at self preservation. You have no choice but to look out for yourself, you can't let your life go because of him. Hang in there and remember that "Self-preservation is the first law of nature."
And don't let him take you down the road where you end up hurt with all he has done. He really needs to grow up and be responsible, its way past time for him to be an adult and act like one!

I think you did the right thing in turning him in! But do be careful who you tell.

forHISglory · 12-11-2008, 10:11 AM

It's going to get back to him that you provided the info on him. How will he react? I don't know you both at all, but I'm hoping that he doesn't react in violence. It's time for you to make plans about cutting all ties to him and protect yourself.

TexasPeanut · 12-11-2008, 10:13 AM

You honestly did the right thing. His children deserve better, and YOU deserve better.

justpeachy92 · 12-11-2008, 10:24 AM

I also feel that you did the right thing, and agree that you should take further steps to protect yourself now. I can't imagine that a man that has lied to you in the way he has is going to be greatful and thank you for providing his ex with the information you gave her.

Greebo · 12-11-2008, 10:27 AM

I absolutely agree you did the right thing, but at the same time, you need to really start thinking about protecting yourself now.

Grayce · 12-11-2008, 10:28 AM

You did the right thing! Thank goodness you have seen this man's true colours before he dragged you down with him!

mandi0808 · 12-11-2008, 10:58 AM

My BF won't do anything to me. No need to worry there.
He is not that kind of man. So that's not my worry at all.
The only thing I might be worried about is him yelling at me
in front of my kids. But they are good kids, and old enough to
know what the reality of the situation would be.

The only way he could find out is, if/when he is arrested and goes to court, they reveal in court where they got the information.
I don't think that would happen, as his ex told me that she would not tell anyone where the info came from.
And since she does not have to appear in court for the case, I don't have to worry about that.

Florida is an open records state. It would be easy for any skip tracer to find him, I have just sped up the process.
I have talked more with his ex. He claims to her that he owns property and vehicles and has had to get two jobs to get her some money.
He even blasted her in an email about how useless it would be to send him to jail for failure to pay.
I was amazed at the gall of this man. He owns nothing, drives my vehicle, and has no jobs!

This week has been very enlightening, as far as learning about this man that I have lived with for two years.

lgw · 12-11-2008, 11:02 AM

Wow. You are one strong and brave woman. Thank goodness you didn't marry him! Considering the relationship appears over, perhaps you should ask him to leave so that you don't have to pay his way anymore.

And I agree with the protection. I wonder if you should alert the local police to the situation...

zakity · 12-11-2008, 11:12 AM

Good job!! That took a lot of guts.

Greebo · 12-11-2008, 11:14 AM

As long as you're not concerned for your safety...just...be on guard, k?

And get this loser OUT OF YOUR LIFE! Wow!

ahmom · 12-11-2008, 11:19 AM

You did the right thing. I'd be afraid of what he'd do if I were you. You have kids to think about.

JustMegan79 · 12-11-2008, 11:25 AM

I absolutley think you did the right thing. Not only is he obviously a deadbeat POS, if he treats his kids this way, he will eventually treat yours with the same disdain.

I am so glad you are getting out. I know too many women who stay with idiots like this and it really ruins their lives. Props to you, now get to kicking his butt out!

BTW...if he has an open warrant out in texas or anywhere, you can go down to the local pd and lead them right to him. Easy way to get him out of your house.

Good luck!