Mind Your Own Business

**JanieD** · 03-12-2009, 04:42 PM

I'm looking for some advise & to vent. First off let me say I'm a saver & don't like to spend money I haven't made yet. I'm not crazy about spending my savings either. I'm content with what I have & don't really want a bunch of stuff. However, there are people in my life I can't avoid, that constantly tell me what I should spent my money on. This one issue keeps coming up & they won't let it go. I'd love to tell them off! I can't. I have to keep the peace & the issue wouldn't be such a big deal if they didn't constantly say something. I've had others to tell them to back off, but they just keep on saying something. I didn't ask for their opinion & don't tell them how to spend their money! HELP?

I've thought about telling them:
I'm not buying ________ just to make you happy.
You should buy one.
If you want to make the payments, I'll pick one out.
I'm happy with my old one & don't like the new ones anyway. Really, it's true!

Can't imagine any of the above will make them leave me alone. Any thoughts? Please, cheer me up.

**QuadSquadMom** · 03-12-2009, 04:49 PM

Are these friends, or family members?

How you spend your money and the choices you make are your own.

I recommend a book called Boundariesby Cloud & Thompson. Powerful & empowering stuff there.

Best wishes!

**JanieD** · 03-12-2009, 04:54 PM

Family. Thanks for the book recommendation. Is it for me or should I give them a copy?

**Contrary Housewife** · 03-12-2009, 05:03 PM

I'm reminded of some alcoholic anonymous literature I read years back, about being pressured to have a drink when you didn't want one. They suggested you turn the tables and ask "Why is it so important to you that I have this drink?"

Perhaps a good question to ask this family member is "Why do you care whether or not I buy this thing?"

**monkeywrangler71** · 03-12-2009, 05:04 PM

You can try what I do when my mother tells me to put my kids in day care. I stick my fingers in my ears and do this:

**MommyBliss** · 03-12-2009, 05:34 PM

I would just nicely say it really isn't any of their business and that you are content in your life.

**cab54** · 03-12-2009, 05:35 PM

People have really learned how to over-step their bounds these days, haven't they?

I don't know what you should say, but I do like some of the examples you gave. They made me laugh!

It baffles me why 'things' and spending are such a big deal to some people. They are things. None of us is gonna make it out alive, and when we're gone, the things will still be here, but we won't be able to enjoy them. Too bad we don't treat loved ones like that are as important as 'stuff', huh?

If they make you feel badly, come here! We are all like you!

**Gardengal18** · 03-12-2009, 05:40 PM

It's your decision in the end.

Just out of curiosity, what is it they are after you to buy/replace?

**sabrelvssammy** · 03-12-2009, 05:43 PM

ever seen a hearst with a luggage rack ?????

**forHISglory** · 03-12-2009, 05:48 PM

I would just smile...... and continue smiling......... and keep on smiling...... and still smile more...... until they went away. There is such power in silence! And then you don't have to deal with words that sometimes get twisted or blown out of context.

Smile!!!!