Emotional Affair

**CrazyCat** · 07-01-2009, 03:23 PM

good Luck katie.

**Palooka** · 07-01-2009, 04:16 PM

Originally Posted by Mummy2I

find this very puzzling because he has been so adimant almost to the point of fanatical about people who cheat or stray from their wedding vows. I have been forbidden to speak to other men and the ones I have to work with he acts as if I would run off with them, no matter if they have wives and children.

I haven't read all the post yet, but just wanted to comment on this. I was too married to a very controlling jealous husband and he was the one always saying and making me 'feel' like I was the one doing something wrong even when it came to my job. We first got the internet together and he "layed down the law" that there would be no chat or no porn. lol Okie dokie. He was the one that stayed up all night doing it, not me. As I found that out later.

**gapeach** · 07-01-2009, 04:41 PM

Best of luck with this situation.

**ravenhart** · 07-01-2009, 05:48 PM

Katie, I feel your pain. My dh was emotionally cheating and got confronted with it just last week. So far things are working out ok - but it is hard to trust again. Here he thought if it ever happened it would be me. I have grown to hate the words "I needed someone to talk to and they understand me". What am I - chopped liver? I'm the one who has been there through all the bad and good times not other women. And yes there was more than one.

I applaud you for waiting till he could be more rational. Only you can know your heart and hope that he will realize what he has before he loses it.

Take Care!

**frugalfranny** · 07-01-2009, 06:16 PM

Thanks for the update. I hope you can get things going in the direction you want them to go. Sounds like you are remaining calm and focused....which is more than I would be doing.

Good luck!!

**craftypam** · 07-01-2009, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by Mummy2

Dh is very insecure, and is paranoid but only about me, go figure.

He went off his meds for depression without a Dr.'s help (very bad thing to do). Is now just getting back on them, so yeah this may be part of a depression thing and needs the meds to kick in before he sees the true meaning of his actions.

He is a very social creature and has lots of friends and talks on the phone alot to people back home (I call him "Sir Talksalot") but this is not a normal behaviour pattern for him.

The guys or girls who accuse others of cheating are usually the ones doing it. Putting their behavior on you

**Palooka** · 07-01-2009, 07:11 PM

Originally Posted by craftypam

The guys or girls who accuse others of cheating are usually the ones doing it. Putting their behavior on you

Score! Swish.

**MommyBliss** · 07-01-2009, 07:35 PM

Glad to read your positive update.

**craftypam** · 07-01-2009, 08:34 PM

Originally Posted by i.m.cheap

I would be sending him packing. But that is just my opinion. You deserve to be respected, and it doesn't sound like you are. If I understand correctly, you provide 100% of his financial support? What does he bring to the marriage?

I am so with you. This is so early in the marriage; things should be wonderful. What's he going to do when the going gets tough? I don't understand while people stay in something like this. You deserve to be respected and treated so much better.

**Debbie-cat** · 07-01-2009, 09:09 PM

I am so sorry you are going through this.

**Mummy2** · 07-02-2009, 08:57 AM

Thanks for all the support and advice.
Dh knows he is walking a thin line and it was evident in his mannerisms (I cant spell) last night when he came home. He didnt say much of anything important but did compliment me on dinner, salad and toast so gourmet. I did reiterate I was not a happy camper in a mater of fact way and I was waiting for him to start taking control of his emotional situation. Short and sweet to the point no naging or arguing he knows I mean business now.

Its now that I want to cry after he sees the light and it is a real reminder that I did find another husband with similar traits to the last one. ~Big Sigh~~

**ravenhart** · 07-02-2009, 04:36 PM

Hugs to you! I have been crying off and on all day. It feels good and helps with the hurt so let it out. Dh got off work early so we had a talk so I'm thinking he understands how I feel a little bit more. Hope everything works out with you!

Ravenhart

**mauimagic** · 07-02-2009, 05:00 PM

Painful ladies, I am so glad you are sharing on this thread. Personally I know that I tend to get in similar situations over and over until I finally figure it all out. All is not lost, this is just a rough time for you. Prayers, hugs and love coming your way!!

**cab54** · 07-04-2009, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by craftypam

I am so with you. This is so early in the marriage; things should be wonderful. What's he going to do when the going gets tough? I don't understand while people stay in something like this. You deserve to be respected and treated so much better.

I would say this sums it up for me, too.

**Persimmon Lace** · 07-04-2009, 01:26 PM

You will need to work on yourself as well as the marriage. If possible get into some counseling for you and he both. If you don't get well yourself you will fall into the same relationship over and over only with different men.

This can be overcome with work and toughness on your part. Infidelity is not the end of a marriage.