Can I please divorce my MOTHER!!!

**larabelle** · 02-18-2011, 08:54 AM

Originally Posted by happymomof4

Then in November my mom calls and tells me she bought a brand new car. I flipped. My older sister won't even talk to her. She is that mad about it. My younger sister told me about the car before my mom did.

A new car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, my mom has just notified me that they are taking a #18 day european vacation! Yes! I did say #18 day and yes it is first class....I refuse...just refuse to ask them how they are are going to pay for this trip. I think they are juggling bills/money.

**larabelle** · 02-18-2011, 10:27 AM

Originally Posted by frugalfriend

I totally get it, I have family members that are similar to yours. So hard to watch them self destruct, huh?

It is very hard to watch them self destruct but I have learned a very good lesson from all of you in that they are choosing to self destruct. I can not live their lives and until they choose to wise up their lives will continue the way they are currently going. I am so glad that I learned this lesson. It definitely takes away any feelings of guilt/responsiblity toward them.
I also refuse to lend them money....YES my brother who is a spender has asked to borrow money.

**gmarie** · 02-18-2011, 03:04 PM

What is wrong with our parents? I love when Dave Ramsey goes off on baby boomers for not planning and expecting their kids to take care of them.

I am so sick of my mother telling me she will just move in with me when she's old.

And, when I suggested that my 64 yo father (who has not saved a PENNY toward his retirement) read Dave Ramsey's book, he laughs and tells me that he is too old, and it is time to spend, not save. He is so ridiculous, I almost want to laugh (and hope his property miraculously sells - it is the only thing that may prevent a life of cat food dinners).

**bonnotsm9** · 02-18-2011, 03:21 PM

I feel for you. My mom has a habit of coming up with things that I supposedly need to have then offering to give me money to buy one, usually with my having to front the money, find the item and have her reimburse me. The amount she offers is always 1/2 or less of what the thing would cost, then gets huffy or acts likes I'm trying to scam her for the money when I tell her so. This happens even though I didn't want the item in the first place and didn't ask her to buy one. We just refuse to let her buy us anything.

Well, I should say refused since we have cut off all contact with her. She has a lot of other issues.

Funny thing is, my younger sister has hit her up for large amounts of money in the past and has always gotten it. I've never borrowed or asked for money from my mom yet she's always acted as if I'm a huge mooch. Go figure.

**happymomof4** · 02-18-2011, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by larabelle

A new car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, my mom has just notified me that they are taking a #18 day european vacation! Yes! I did say #18 day and yes it is first class....I refuse...just refuse to ask them how they are are going to pay for this trip. I think they are juggling bills/money.

Wow a trip like that has to be big money.

**happymomof4** · 02-18-2011, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by larabelle

I am so glad that I am not alone in this whole mess...that there are other people with parents in similar situations to mine.

It is sad. Dh and I have no credit cards and we didn't take a home equity loan to pay them off. We just paid them off month by month years ago. We have no car payment. We are in better shape then my parents.

Both my parents get SS, my dad has a small 401K(didn't put $ into it till he was much older), my mom works under the table as a home health aide. My dad works part time also in a machine shop and he gets unemployment. They still have no money. WTH.

**ohio47** · 02-18-2011, 06:28 PM

HappyMom of4, What part of Pa are you from? I am also from Pa and it sounds like we may have some of the same relatives,haha.

**happymomof4** · 02-20-2011, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by ohio47

HappyMom of4, What part of Pa are you from? I am also from Pa and it sounds like we may have some of the same relatives,haha.

I live about hour outside Philadelphia.

**CrazyHomemaker** · 02-20-2011, 02:55 PM

Welcome to my world! My mother wants to buy EVERYTHING in the whole dang store when we shop together...because she loves me and wants me to have stuff. I keep telling her I'm not destitute and I don't NEED anything I can't buy for myself. We always end up in an argument about this.

She has so much crap in her kitchen closets that it's amazing. She keeps buying 'cute' things for 'only $1' or so. I lived with that growing up and I don't need that in my house. In fact, I'm prepping for a yard sale. Every closet is being gone through and about 50% of my closet stuff will be gone. If I don't use it, I'm getting rid of it.

I guess I should be grateful I still have a mother.

Good luck, larabelle. Just put the unwanted stuff on the curbside and it will disappear.

**larabelle** · 02-21-2011, 08:09 AM

I am done...done...done...done...yep stick a fork in me done!!
I called my mom yesterday and she told me that her and dad were on there way out of town for a dinner theatre and then to spend the night out of town.

I am not the one to complain about priorities ...but come on

....Mom does not even have life insurance or any type of burial savings and she is 70. They have a house but no emergency fund and they have a loan for remodeling the kitchen. Shouldn't they be saving their money...neither of them are working.
I am so glad that I have all of you...if not I would think that i was the one crazy by living frugally.

**Greebo** · 02-21-2011, 08:16 AM

You cannot force personal responsibility on others - you can only refuse to enable their failure to accept it.

**Daisygirl** · 02-21-2011, 12:32 PM

I can totally relate. My mom likes to guilt me into purchases. She tells me how poorly-done-by my kids are if I don't provide them with ***** (fill in the blanks). Eventually she will purchase the item she feels is necessary for their happiness and well being and I never hear the end of it.

I think you are absolutely correct to have moved so far away - it's the only way to get any peace from folks like that. (BTW - I live in Canada and my mom is in Arkansas.)

Hang tough!