Question for the married women here.

**CrazyCat** · 08-07-2009, 04:44 PM

Ceashells....most excellent advise.

My only other comment..after reading this thread is this.....

Even though you both spend all your time together..but sleep seperately..you are not 'really' together. To me..and take this for what it's worth...he wants to remain 'seperate'...with no committment. Even living together gives 'some' measure of committment..without the legalities involved.

HAHAH...my first question when I read your inital post was...I wonder how old they are? Because my first thought was 60's...and woodstock..and freedom. (Just my take on it).

My thought is he's probably happy with the way things are.~and unless given an ultimatum...will continue living this way. Obviously you are not happy...or you wouldn't have fallen into a depression.

As with any ultimatum...if you give one...be prepared for any direction it could take.

Oh yeah...one more thing....the comment about how he loves how you take care of him.....has he actually said he loves YOU?? I mean...damn....his MOTHER could take care of him.

**Sassyclass** · 08-18-2009, 10:12 PM

Hmmmm, well my DH and I have only been married for almost 2 months. We lived together for 12 1/2 years. We were both married previously and were in no rush(obviously) to marry again. We are both in our late 40's though and are past wanting kids. So as for staying with someone strictly because of love then I'd have to say yes I could and I did.

Cat

**militlady** · 08-19-2009, 06:11 PM

My husband and I had this issue before we got married. He found his ex wife in a very compromising situation when he came home early. He told her to get out and threw all her stuff out on the front lawn. Anyways, he did not have a serious relationship again until he met me. 16 years later. We were together for 3 years before we got married. I even had to ask him to marry me, twice, before he agreed. We have a very stong marriage now but it took a lot for him to trust anyone again.

**HandyMom** · 08-20-2009, 02:41 AM

Actually, your man sounds a lot like me. At this point in my life (age 51) I really don't want someone living with me or doing more than going places with me occasionally and spending some free time with me and not someone else. I wouldn't want to be one of several girlfriends, either, I just don't want to be "the wife".

It is true, I've been in and out of relationships, married twice and engaged more than once and I learned that for the time being and for the most part, I am happily single. No desire to commit, not that I have anything against it, just not interested. I do enjoy doing things with men and I have male friends, too.

So my answer would be YES. I'd stick with that someone I knew who was there for me when it counted and not because of a piece of paper or out of convenience. Someone I loved who loved me and who was more than a friend but not constantly in my life and my bed every single night. I don't want to do his laundry and pay his bills or shop for gifts for his relatives.

But since your heart is in a different place, it seems you will always be longing for something - or someone - different because chances are if he hasn't "put a ring on it" by now, he never will. Good luck.

**cissylu** · 08-20-2009, 05:51 AM

NO I couldn`t stay with him.

**mom21ofeach** · 08-20-2009, 07:23 AM

I haven't read all the replys, but I think you need to figure out what YOU want and go from there. Do you want to spend the rest of your life living the way you do now? If you are happy with your life, and want to continue this way, then I say stay with him. If you are unfulfulled, and want more out of this relationship that he is unwilling to give, then I think you need to move on. But, don't stay in the hopes that he may change his mind, because he probably never will.