What do couples talk about?

[monkeywrangler71]

Recent threads have started me thinking about this, and I am particularly interested in what couples without children at home talk about with each other.

All I do is look after the kids and house. I noticed last time dh and went out together that I am starting to struggle to think of non-kid related things to talk about.

I don't want to make him talk about work all the time either, which seems to be where I end up when I run out of things to say about the kids.

I think I used to be a lot more interesting.

[forHISglory]

I really wondered about this when I got married many years ago. I wondered if we would reach a point of staring at each other at supper and have nothing to say. But we have not yet run out of topics. Sometimes it's the mundane, run of the mill, everyday things: weather, things breaking, the dog, the baby. Sometimes it's to plan and dream: building that new house, moving, vacation, planning the garden, painting the house. Sometimes it is commentary and debate: politics, religion, finances. Sometimes it's reviews: movies and TV, last night's party. Sometimes it's philosophical: ethics, morals, worries and fear. Sometimes we discuss news headlines. Sometimes we commiserate. And yes, sometimes we say nothing, letting our eyes and smiles do the talking.

[stinkbug]

Well, we've been empty nesters for almost 10 years and I don't think we'll ever run out of things to talk about!

We discuss things going on with our grown kids, grandkids, etc. And keep in touch with our parents and what they're up to. We talk a lot about projects we want to work on around the house, because we work on most everything together. We go grocery shopping and plan meals. We entertain. We both have hobbies and we check in and see what the other one is working on. Dh travels a lot for work, so we try to catch up when he's home...we are never bored and I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend time with.

This weekend, he's working on his boat and I'm cleaning kitchen cabinets. We stop and have coffee together and chat for awhile...he brings in the ladder for me.....I'm sewing a camo cover for his hunting boat. We watched the BSU-Vandals game together yesterday, we went grocery shopping. it's just never been an issue for us.

[stinkbug]

And to simplify....pretty much everything forHISglory just said

[chevy_chick95]

I think this is exactly what greebo was talking about. If all a wife does is consume her time with kids and all the husband does is consume his time with work then when it comes to being together you don't have anything in common. I think that hobbies and activities (alone or together) are very important.

[gapeach]

My husband and I don't have kids but we never seem to run out of things to talk about. I think FHG summed it up very well.

[nancycg56]

Up until my DH retired, we had spent half our marriage apart ~ I still have things to talk about that happened YEARS ago, LOL! I doubt we will ever run out of stuff to talk about

[monkeywrangler71]

I think this is exactly what greebo was talking about. If all a wife does is consume her time with kids and all the husband does is consume his time with work then when it comes to being together you don't have anything in common.

This is what I'm worried about. We aren't at this point, and I don't ever want to get to it, but it just seems like something that sneaks up on people without really noticing until it's too late. I read greebo's post and it was something that I always agreed with, except that when I started thinking about it honestly I realized I wasn't actually doing it.

[sabrelvssammy]

you know i noticed the other night when dh and i were at the mexican restaurant that the other couples around us were not speaking to each other much...they were looking at their food, or around the room but not really communicating and interacting with one another...almost like they were eating their dinner alone, together.....

i noticed this because i was chatting non-stop (i know, you all find this very hard to believe...lol...well it is TRUE).....dh isn't much of a talker and i have to prompt alot of the conversation but once i get him going on a subject he can open up...i don't think we will ever run out of things to talk about coz we spend so much of our days doing different things and we tend to come together at the end of the day and catch up..and while dh would probably prefer to veg out in front of the tv quietly-i get him to recount his day...then i recount mine.....(good thing about dh is he half-listens anyway...so i can tell the same ole story over and over and each time he hears it...it's a new story).....haha

[Contrary Housewife]

What forHISglory said.

I try to read the news every day and find something to talk about with DH when he gets home. It might be something stupid or funny that happened locally, or an upcoming event happening, or silly politics, or something I know he is interested in like a new season of a tv show or a new book from a favorite author.

[pollypurebred39]

This post got me to thinking about what do we talk about really? We both do different things, he gardens, sings in the choir, is a commander for the Rangers, serves trustee duty at church, serves on the missions board and Angel food ministries, writes songs and studies the Bible and herbs and plants. I take care of him, the kids, home, holidays & birthdays, craft. make herbal medicine, help my Mom, help my Aunt sick with Cancer, serve those in need, and various needs at church. There is very little that we do together, but there are some common threads, we serve others, we both are interested in herbal/natural things, and we have the same values and beliefs. These are the things that drew us to each other in the first place and these are the things we talk about besides the kids. After almost 2 decades together there's something very comforting and connecting in the quiet times we spend together, sometimes there's no need for words.

[Nishu]

Books we've read
video games
Where we're gonig to our next duty station
how weird our kids are
how cute our kids are
what to have for dinner
how hilarious I am
how nice it would be to sleep in
various bills
when to visit home
the absurdity of American politics
how good my chicken tacos are
how much he hates going underway
some funny thing his friend said at work
how nice it would be not to have to move every couple years
how he needs to stop eating sunflower seeds all over the house so that I don't have to find the shells stuck somewhere they shouldn't be
how I'm going to have to delete everyone off my facebook friends list if I can't beat them at Word Challenge
how he really wanted that last soda
how if I wanted french fries, I should have ordered french fries because now we're halfway home and I've eaten all his french fries
how pretty his grey hair is
whether or not I'm as pretty as he says I am
how I get sick of watching all his stupid TV shows, and how he owes it to me to sit and watch the Painted Veil with me because it's an awesome movie
how he's owed me a backrub for the past 6 years and just because I usually don't care for back rubs and refuse them when they're offered does not alleviate him of the responsibility
what happened to all our dental floss
where my keys are and how I need to get one of those things that beeps when you lose them
where my ID is and how I need to keep better track of it
where the remote is
what he's getting me for christmas and how it better not be a book that he likes or a video game that he wants to play or a bowling ball with his name engraved on it

[nodmicks]

Dh and I always have lots to talk about besides the kids after 18 years ~ friends, works, events, plans for the future, the past stuff, family, hobbies, something one of us reads etc.

[AnW819]

My DH talk about a lot of the same things a lot.

We talk about money (ugh), and we both like to cook and bake so we talk about that. We talk about our dreams and goals (opening up a cafe/bakery one day), we talk about having kids...

There are a lot of times we do not really say anything, but thats okay but I love staring into his eyes <3 Sometimes you need some quiet time.

[miss_thrifty]

well actually we talked baout this yesterday- when the kida re grown and gone id like to leave and go out of Canada and either live in Scotland, maybe austrailia for awhile. he thinks Im nuts lol he wants to move to manitoba or Saint John. i told him Manitoba is too flat and he wants to live way out in the country and work part tiem on farms again. nope aint happening lol done that.
saint John NB is very pretty no doubt about it but I want to see parts of the world or at least live in it part time of the year, maybe those winter months he hates. he agreed on that part . lol
Plus we gotta think of what he wants to do is it still constuction or go bck to farming milking cows etc.
well see we got lots of time till the 143 yr odl is gone. Lots of places to look into.