It's Crazy Relative Rant Week @ FV!! Join in !

**MaryCarney** · 07-26-2010, 09:47 AM

Soooo..... yesterday was my niece's baby shower. She's 25, and the baby daddy is 40+ and has multiple kids with multiple other women. Whatever.

My daughter and I came about an hour early to help my sister get things ready, and there were about 25 guests. We eat, play games - all the usual shower-type things.

Then she opened the gifts. 25 gifts. Nice gifts, some of them pretty pricy. The girl NEVER ONCE said thank-you. Not one single time.

His family up and leaves as soon as their gifts were opened - no goodbye, thanks for coming - she just waves and keeps plowing through the gifts. Same with her girlfriends, as soon as the gifts they bought were opened, off they go.

DD and I stayed because my 88-year-old Aunt Jean was there, and I haven't seen her in a long time. We were the last to leave, again, no thanks for making the two hour drive, no thanks for helping my mom with the food, just a wave and she headed back in to have another piece of cake!!

Grrr.......

Even my generally clueless 15 year old said, as soon as we got in the car "Mom, she never said thank you to anyone!"

**Darlene** · 07-26-2010, 09:54 AM

I would have called her out on it.
Feel so badly for that baby and all those other babies too. What a shame...

**MaryCarney** · 07-26-2010, 10:02 AM

Originally Posted by Darlene

I would have called her out on it.
Feel so badly for that baby and all those other babies too. What a shame...

God's been dealing with me lately about my tongue, and my (apparent) lack of a filtering device between my brain and my mouth.

I used the whole episode as an object lesson to my DD on our drive back home!

**Greebo** · 07-26-2010, 10:02 AM

She's 25 - so I'm guessing you knew her well enough to expect this - so who are you really mad at?

QM · 07-26-2010, 10:07 AM

At 25, I knew how to say thank you. What a shame she wasn't taught any manners...Where was her mother during the baby shower? Usually at the end of a shower, someone says "OK...Give a little speech." and at that time the person says thank-you to everyone for coming to the shower and for all the wonderful gifts yadda yadda.

Definately a life-lesson that your daughter can learn by.

**Darlene** · 07-26-2010, 10:08 AM

Originally Posted by MaryCarney

God's been dealing with me lately about my tongue, and my (apparent) lack of a filtering device between my brain and my mouth.

I used the whole episode as an object lesson to my DD on our drive back home!

Looks like your Niece needs someone to go off unfiltered on her.

Happy your dd was awestruck by the over the top rudeness of her cousin.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 07-26-2010, 12:04 PM

That sounds like something my sister would do...

speaking of which:

This sister that I have (that I basically disowned after I moved to Canada eight years ago) sent me a Facebook message yesterday out of the blue. I imagine that it was prompted by the fact that I said hello to my 12 year old nephew on Facebook. Anyways, it was full of obscenities and it basically told me what a piece of trash she really is.

I went to bed thinking, "Should I respond?" But then I realized that it would only make things worse. So I went ahead and reported her to the Facebook people and it autoblocked her.

Good riddance, I say.

I teach all of my kids to be nice to people, be thankful and to say it every single time they interact with others who are kind to them. It sounds like your niece missed out on that.

**Syn D** · 07-26-2010, 01:06 PM

It seems to me, the gifts were expected, not appreciated, I am the type of person that would never give a gift to your niece again, if I did at some point, instead of giving it to her, I would give your sibling the gift to pass on to avoid any family problem, if you worry about that sort of thing..

My kids were raised with "whether you like the gift or not, always say thank you".. My second child is 25 and my MIL gives really bad gifts, but my daughter thanks her as if it was some extravagant item..

When she had her baby shower she got some really um useless gifts, but she thanked them as it the gift was a crib..

It's just respect.. Grant it, some people make no effort on gifts (MIL usually finds something in her house and not a good thing, my youngest go dirty stuffed toys once for b-day), some due to laziness, some lack of care, and some lack of money.. My kids never expected much from certain family members, but never seemed unappreciated when they received the item, they always give a grateful thank you..

**fairydana** · 07-26-2010, 01:27 PM

no advice. Just sending out big hugs to you!!

**mauimagic** · 07-26-2010, 03:19 PM

I've finally been able to close my mouth after it dropped open while reading your post!! The whole situation is absurd..

**nodmicks** · 07-26-2010, 03:37 PM

EVEN a four year old can say thank you! That is ridiculous!!!!

**mek42** · 07-26-2010, 03:44 PM

Is it usual for people to ditch these sorts of events after seeing their gift opened? Were they leaving due to being irked at lack of the slightest gratitude?

Glad your daughter noticed and found it not right. If she had anything to do with picking out the gift I bet she'll always remember feeling spurned by this lack of ingratitude and will remember to be grateful for gifts forevermore.

**Sassyclass** · 07-26-2010, 07:05 PM

Oh Mary I can relate on the filter. When my stepson and his girlfriend stayed with us about 2 months ago for 6 weeks, not once did she offer to help with dishes. No help whatsoever. It wasn't beacuse she didn't know where they went because she sure knew where to find them to feed her face. Believe me they will never stay here again. I think God tripled my filter those 6 weeks, in fact I know he did. No one got hurt and I didn't spend any time in jail.

Nothing ticks me off faster than rudeness. Glad your daugter knows what manners are.

Cat

**Paws** · 07-26-2010, 09:23 PM

I know...without a doubt...the stuff would've hit the fan..

I would have said something...either to her directly, or to someone close by...very loudly, so she definitely would have heard...((Yep, I have that filter issue also.))

There is no excuse for that type of behavior or rudeness.

Sad thing is, she probably has no clue she done anything wrong...

**frugalwarrior2** · 07-26-2010, 10:50 PM

See my mouth often goes off w/o my brains position on the subject.
I would have sent her a thank you note.
Dear neice,
Thank you for reminding me who you are and who I am. i just wanted to apologise for burdening you w/ my unwanted gift. I have called Salvation Army and they will be by to pick up my gift along w/ the others. Please forgive my short memory. MC.