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02-26-2011, 10:09 PM #1Registered User
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It's our anniversary and he's on the couch.
I don't even know where to begin. I'm afraid this has turned out to be a four year mistake. I never wanted my children to have divorced parents because mine were and it almost ruined me. Why didn't I listen to my gut 4 years ago?!
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02-26-2011, 10:11 PM #2Registered User
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I'm sorry.
~~~
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"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies." -- Gene Hill
"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her."
— Maya Angelou
"God has the right, and does not require my permission, to rearrange my life to achieve His purposes."– Anonymous
Live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all!
~ Romans 12:16, NLT
The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.
William James
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02-26-2011, 10:16 PM #3Moderator
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Don't know what to say - sad realization and what are your next steps? Keep us posted.
Travel light. The baggage of the past can only hold you back.
“Decluttering isn't just simplifying your life. It's having a vision, setting new priorities and using those notions to get rid of obstacles.”
— Peter Walsh
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02-26-2011, 10:18 PM #4Registered User
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I am sorry, sending you hugs.
*Angel*
Dave R. Plan
Step one - Done
Step two-Done
Step three-Done
Step four-Done
Step five- Working on
Step six- almost done
Living debt free except the mortgage and working on that !!!
Be content with what you have;
Rejoice in the way things are,
When you realise there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.
-Lao Tzu
Have Courage
“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires…courage.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back..." Maya Angelou
"Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life." (Confucius 551-478 BC)
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02-26-2011, 10:31 PM #5Master Dollar Stretcher
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If it comes down to it, your children will be happier in a life in which their parents are happy, but living apart, than they will be in a home where their parents are stressed and unhappy, but together.
I got out of a relationship that I knew was a mistake, many years ago, and I am deliriously happy compared to how I felt when I was in it. Like you said, your gut knows best. Listen to it.DH aka Mad Hen
(http://mad-hen-creations.blogspot.com/)
June no-spend: 0/15 
June wasted money: $0 
June grocery: $0/400
2012 LAPAW: 8.8/20 
2012 Get-Thee-To-The-Gym Challenge: 7/52
: 1136/66,795 
Run/walk challenge: 91/520 miles
Total debt (with mortgage, HELOC, and 1 cc): Jan 2012: $285,105 (Jan 2011: $292,750) 
(2911 days until retirement)
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Mahatma Gandhi
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02-26-2011, 10:33 PM #6Registered User
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So sorry you are going through this. I hope everything works out for your family.
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02-26-2011, 10:48 PM #7Registered User
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I'm sorry.
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02-26-2011, 10:54 PM #8Registered User
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Thanks, everyone. I'm heartbroken. I tried really hard. I actually really do love him. Maybe I just love who I thought he was. This is horrible.
I think we are going to separate. We have issues - him more than I, though. But I will at least give him and our daughter the chance his ex never gave him. We will try to save this family. In time, maybe, we can.
I'm not really a Dr. Phil fan, but I agree with one thing I heard him say once - something along the lines of doing all the work before having the right to get divorced, or something like that. I think that when you have kids, divorce should always be THE last resort.
I am so mad at being in this position.
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02-26-2011, 11:43 PM #9Master Dollar Stretcher aka DixieBob
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I agree.
Originally Posted by Debt Ninjette
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02-27-2011, 03:05 AM #10Registered User
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I know about how you feel and I'm sorry that anyone else has to go through that. I was divorced last year, I still love him and it rips my heart out everyday that things went so horribly wrong.
We fortunately didn't have any kids, I'm grateful for that.
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02-27-2011, 04:10 AM #11Registered User
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I've been married 25 years, and he left 7 years ago. He didn't want a very sick wife. I'm better now, but hes not welcome back. I am so much more happier. I'm sorry you have to go thru this. His only son died a year ago without talking to him in 6 years....... Do whats best for you and your children.
FernYes I'm out of my mind. It's a dark and scary place in there.
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02-27-2011, 08:26 AM #12Registered User
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I'm sooo sorry--I was divorced and its a whole other thing.
Charity Items 3
Change Jar
Christmas 2011 
Books read
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02-27-2011, 04:07 PM #13Registered User
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???Because love can not only be blind........it can be deaf too??? Originally Posted by Debt Ninjette
Have you tried talking? I mean, COMMUNICATING!
Sorry it isn't working out.......do what you feel is best for you and your family...and good luck in whatever choice you make!
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02-27-2011, 04:26 PM #14Registered User
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It's never too late to do what you know is right. Hugs.
No spend days 2012 94/365
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02-27-2011, 10:05 PM #15Registered User
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i am not sure if i am missing some secret code or something but i am a bit lost .
he is on the couch -...... alseep- watching TV playing video games ??
is he depressed- just not meeting your expectations of what you think a marraige should be ? just doesnt care ?
we dont make a big deal about anniversaries around here -
probably because i was hugely pregnant with our oldest on our first anniversary and didnt want to go out and be stared at like i was some alien creature ( i was huge and i am short lol )
we have been married almost 24 years with many ups and downs and maybe have gone out to dinner for anniversaries - rarely on the actual date and sometimes with our kids - we have never gone on a weekend away etc because i wouldnt leave the kids with anyone to go away more than one night overnight -
does he know you feel this way ? if not tell him
if he does know he may not believe you will act on it .
so sorry you are feeling this way .*~Debbi~*
Happily Married Mom to 5 ;
PT Home Care RN
Living with FMS
“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours”
Swedish Proverb
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Getting Gazelle like 7/1/10
Paid off 6 CC's totalling $6807 in 2010
Paid off car 9000
2011
Quit 2nd Job for health reasons so going slower .
2012
purchased used car in cash 5000
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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