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02-26-2011, 10:09 PM #1
It's our anniversary and he's on the couch.
I don't even know where to begin. I'm afraid this has turned out to be a four year mistake. I never wanted my children to have divorced parents because mine were and it almost ruined me. Why didn't I listen to my gut 4 years ago?!
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02-26-2011, 10:11 PM #2
I'm sorry.
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"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies." -- Gene Hill
"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her."
— Maya Angelou
"God has the right, and does not require my permission, to rearrange my life to achieve His purposes."– Anonymous
Live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all!
~ Romans 12:16, NLT
The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.
William James
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02-26-2011, 10:16 PM #3Moderator
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Don't know what to say - sad realization and what are your next steps? Keep us posted.
Travel light. The baggage of the past can only hold you back.

“Decluttering isn't just simplifying your life. It's having a vision, setting new priorities and using those notions to get rid of obstacles.”
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02-26-2011, 10:18 PM #4
I am sorry, sending you hugs.
*Angel*
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02-26-2011, 10:31 PM #5Master Dollar Stretcher
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If it comes down to it, your children will be happier in a life in which their parents are happy, but living apart, than they will be in a home where their parents are stressed and unhappy, but together.
I got out of a relationship that I knew was a mistake, many years ago, and I am deliriously happy compared to how I felt when I was in it. Like you said, your gut knows best. Listen to it.DH aka Mad Hen
(http://mad-hen-creations.blogspot.com/)
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Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Mahatma Gandhi
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02-26-2011, 10:33 PM #6
So sorry you are going through this. I hope everything works out for your family.
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02-26-2011, 10:48 PM #7
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02-26-2011, 10:54 PM #8
Thanks, everyone. I'm heartbroken. I tried really hard. I actually really do love him. Maybe I just love who I thought he was. This is horrible.
I think we are going to separate. We have issues - him more than I, though. But I will at least give him and our daughter the chance his ex never gave him. We will try to save this family. In time, maybe, we can.
I'm not really a Dr. Phil fan, but I agree with one thing I heard him say once - something along the lines of doing all the work before having the right to get divorced, or something like that. I think that when you have kids, divorce should always be THE last resort.
I am so mad at being in this position.
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02-26-2011, 11:43 PM #9
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02-27-2011, 03:05 AM #10
I know about how you feel and I'm sorry that anyone else has to go through that. I was divorced last year, I still love him and it rips my heart out everyday that things went so horribly wrong.
We fortunately didn't have any kids, I'm grateful for that.
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02-27-2011, 04:10 AM #11
I've been married 25 years, and he left 7 years ago. He didn't want a very sick wife. I'm better now, but hes not welcome back. I am so much more happier. I'm sorry you have to go thru this. His only son died a year ago without talking to him in 6 years....... Do whats best for you and your children.
FernYes I'm out of my mind. It's a dark and scary place in there.
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02-27-2011, 08:26 AM #12Registered User
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I'm sooo sorry--I was divorced and its a whole other thing.
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Christmas 2011

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02-27-2011, 04:07 PM #13
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02-27-2011, 04:26 PM #14
It's never too late to do what you know is right. Hugs.
No spend days 2012 94/365
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02-27-2011, 10:05 PM #15
i am not sure if i am missing some secret code or something but i am a bit lost .
he is on the couch -...... alseep- watching TV playing video games ??
is he depressed- just not meeting your expectations of what you think a marraige should be ? just doesnt care ?
we dont make a big deal about anniversaries around here -
probably because i was hugely pregnant with our oldest on our first anniversary and didnt want to go out and be stared at like i was some alien creature ( i was huge and i am short lol )
we have been married almost 24 years with many ups and downs and maybe have gone out to dinner for anniversaries - rarely on the actual date and sometimes with our kids - we have never gone on a weekend away etc because i wouldnt leave the kids with anyone to go away more than one night overnight -
does he know you feel this way ? if not tell him
if he does know he may not believe you will act on it .
so sorry you are feeling this way .*~Debbi~*
Happily Married Mom to 5 ;
PT Home Care RN 
Living with FMS
“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours”
Swedish Proverb
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2012
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