My Dad Isn't Going to Take This Well!

[frugalfranny]

Congrats and good luck.

I hope it works out with your father.........and if not 'right away' maybe in time.

[mauimagic]

Congratulations!! Agree with what has been offered here - agree that he probably knows. No one can change anyone else's reaction.

[Rebookie]

I hope everything goes ok! If not, lend it to how he was raised/his generation. Hopefully he'll come around...

[AmyBoz]

Congratulations to you! I wish you the very best!

[Droppedonmyhead]

I pretty much agree with everyone else here. He's your Dad and you love him. At his age, the chances of him changing his views are remote. But you still have the right to live your life as you see fit. Tell him of your plans and invite him, but don't let it devastate you if he chooses not to come. That is his right. Treat him with respect and hopefully he will treat you the same way.

[madhen]

I suspect your dad already knows you are a lesbian, so you might find that he comes around faster than you fear. It is funny how exposure to the thing you fear seems to be the best way to learn that your fears are unfounded. You have allowed him to "pretend" that you are heterosexual, and this will knock him out of that comfort zone, but if he has been polite to previous girlfriends, he'll probably be polite to this one. And once he sees how happy she makes you, I'll bet he will get over his prejudice and just be happy that you are happy.

My mother is about your dad's age, and she had to deal with both me and my sister moving in with a guy, something that was "verboten" in her language. My sister tried to be sneaky about it and not tell my mother; I opted to discuss it with my mother beforehand, not to ask permission, but to let her know my intentions. It took her a LONG time to get over disliking my sister's boyfriend (now husband). With me, she told me she wasn't happy about it, but that she appreciated that I was honest with her and she expected that times are different now and she would just have to get used to it. (Not her words, exactly, but the meaning behind them.)

[oheoh's momma]

first of all congrats life is to short not to spend it being happy.....
your dad will love u anyway with his age it is a different world....back then it wasn't talked about u know.. talk to him honestly 1 of 3 things will happen . 1. honey i already knew. 2. he will get mad 3.. he will ignore it..

u probably already now what he is going to do..good luck and God Bless u both

[Rhiamon]

Congratulations.... I believe you have to do what is right for you and makes you happy.
Different situation but I spent a good chunk of my life trying to pretend everything was great and not being who I was and it slowly ate away at me. I have discovered I cant please everyone there is always going to be someone who does not approve. I can't control there reaction but I can control mine. Easier said then done I know.
I wish you all the best and it is a real tough spot to be in.

[Mr Fixit]

Congrats, get married, live your life and be happy. Your dad will either learn to deal with it, or he wont. after the wedding, and he has had some time to digest everything, you may be surprised at how he accepts it.
Just do not let him spoil youe happiness!

[karlaa]

yea, i am also temtped to say that you should talk with him about it..

[mylittle4]

I think since he has a dont ask dont tell mentality that if you tell him quickly and bluntly and state that you would like him at the wedding but it is his choice and you will not hold it against him that it will give him the freedom to make that choice without feeling like he has to be unsupportive of your lifestyle.

My father is gay and has been in a serious relationship with the same man for almost as long as I can remember. He never told his parents. They have passed away and while he says that there are moments he wished he could have shared it with them overall he knows they would not have been accepting and he is glad he kept it to himself.

Also, I would like to say congratulations!

[Mamaw]

Congrats!
I believe I would tell him and let him know that you will respect his decision to either attend or not attend the service. If he can't accept it, I would most likely continue a relationship with him via phone calls, occassional visits and outings. But I would not invite him to my home or expect to bring my spouse to his home. I wish you all the happiness the world can hold!