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Divorce really may be the only answer

8K views 57 replies 51 participants last post by  Monner 1 
#1 ·
:dis:Yep its true....I think it may be it. I can not keep doing this with my DH. The alcohol ALWAYS wins and my kids are beginning to lose everyday.Hes agreed to get help but doesn't and ends up back to his old ways and i cann't deal with it. sigh...theres soooooo MUCH more to all of this for tonight but i feel drained. I just needed your shoulders as usual...THANX:shake:
 
#3 ·
Do you go to Al-Anon? It is for families, friends, and loved ones of those with alcohol problems. I STRONGLY recommend it!!

Also---are you in counseling of some kind? Even if your DH won't go with you, you need to get help and you need someone with training in these matters to listen to you and give you options. If you are a church-goer, your pastor can refer you to someone. The United Way in your town can also give recommendations. Many base their fees on a sliding pay scale so you pay what you can afford.

Counseling is VERY important right now.

I will keep you and your children in my prayers.
 
#4 ·
Hugs to you, I'm so sorry. And know that this is NOT your fault. If he can't see the light and change his ways then he's the loser.

Such sad news though, know we're here for you hun!

Hugs,
kj
 
#5 ·
I am so sorry for what you are going through. He must be in a lot of pain to choose alcohol over his family but that is NOT YOUR FAULT. The choice is being made by him, not you if he refuses to get help.

You need to see someone for counseling. Leaving a situation like this can have a lot of resulting guilt, which you must work through for you and your children.

Best of luck and my thoughts are with you.
 
#17 ·
Thank you all for your support!! I truly appreciate it. I am going to have a sit down with him when hes sober to see where/what the next step is, the balls in his court. I am looking for a local al-anon meeting.
***See Below as well***


I had to comment strictly on this....His family is on his side. We were at a family get together when all of this started. Of course he didn't act an a** when we were there just as soon as we got in the car. He can not drink hard liquor or he completely loses it....his cousin was passing the Petron(sp) tequila shots around when I stepped in looking like a total freak BTW. I stopped that and his family said "oh just let him do his thing. You just take him home and its his problem if he gets outta control" UMMMMM hello this is the same man that locked me and my kids out on Easter Eve when he lost it. Its not HIS problem when he gets like that its mine and my kids. :shake: Suddenly it became clear they will NEVER be behind me. I was even told "ya know chances are good when he gets crazy like that you are probably instigating the whole thing" wow. Sorry so long.Thanks again
 
#8 ·
I am so sorry that this is happening to your family. I'm not married to an alcoholic, but there have been more than a few in my family. It is a terrible sickness. I am praying for you, your husband and your children.
 
#9 ·
Been there, done that hon, so I can relate. I had just left mine when he died driving drunk on a motorcycle. Be prepared for a lot of emotions. Divorce is a lot like having someone die, and the grieving symptoms are the same. You might want to go to some al-anon meetings. It will help you with the transition. If your kids are teens, there is al-ateen too. Great organizations!

I'm here if you want to talk.

Mega hugs!!!
 
#11 ·
I'm sorry that you're going through this. I will pray for strength for you and your family.
 
#20 ·
I am so sorry. Living with an alcoholic is no kind of life for you or your children. Been there, done that. Life gets immensely better when you get away from the emotional drain. Best of luck to you. Be strong.
 
#21 · (Edited)
I wish the best for you and your family. My first boyfriend at the age of 15 (he was 15 yrs old also) was an alcoholic. Imagine being an alcoholic so young! I recognized this at the time as he would always pick alcohol over me. I knew this would lead to a life of pain for both of us, so I chose to walk away. I'm glad I did.
 
#24 ·
You and your children will be in my thoughts. My mother and husband are both recovering alcoholics, and I know what a difficult situation you are in. I am sorry that his family members aren't strong enough to see the truth.
 
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