Yeeps. I have a friend who just doesn't listen to me.
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  1. #1
    Registered User Missy's Avatar
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    Default Yeeps. I have a friend who just doesn't listen to me.

    I have a friend (d) who is driving me nuts. I don't really know what to do. SHe feels she has some sort of inside knowledge of my family. She'll speak of MIL being a doting caring hands on kind of mother to her boys, fluttery eyed completely in love with FIL. Now...D had never met her...ever. MIL died before I even met D. And not a moot point, that's really the opposite of how MIL was anyhow. It's like D remembers that I have discussed Mil, family etc in the past, but i was "white noise" she really didn't listen to. She's said stuff like this about my mother, my brother, etc etc. She's said things suggesting my mom's side of the family is wealthy. They're not. They never have been either. My gram is probably the most thrifty, frugal person I have ever known. Not to mention the things she says in a passing sort of way about my DH not providing well. HE does. My hubby works easily 12-16 hour days...6-7 days a week! WTF?? I feel like wringing her neck because several times i have corrected her, and set it straight, but later she says it the same again! It's like i am not being listened to at all.

    What would you do?

    ~~ Missy ~~

    Planting and raising an urban homestead in the middle of Downtown big city right at the foot of the Rocky Mountains!

    Zone 5 Colorado Springs, CO USA

  2. #2
    Registered User Dancing Lotus's Avatar
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    IS your friend my friend? I know what type of person this is because I have one in my life too. I'm sorry to say but it's been my experience that you cant really do anything. They just don't get it. People like her live in a different world. You just have to let it roll off your back but at the same time don't let her get away with it. IF she says something that isn't right just correct her. OF course always say it nicely but firm. Once I started correcting her, even in front of people it just somehow became easier to deal with.

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    Registered User kaykwilts's Avatar
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    Where is she getting these ideas. She sounds looney to me.

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    Registered User FrugalMomof3's Avatar
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    I think you need to just come out and set her straight, I mean if she's truely a friend she will understand.

    Let us know how things go!

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    Super Moderator Darlene's Avatar
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    She sounds wacky to me and enjoys making her own drama. I'd opt out and send her on her way to live well & prosper.
    Feel no remorse in smiling & sending her on her way Miss. She's living in another dimension of which you have no need nor part of.
    Carry on without her, no matter how hard that may be.

  6. #6
    Registered User Missy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darlene View Post
    She sounds wacky to me and enjoys making her own drama. I'd opt out and send her on her way to live well & prosper.
    Feel no remorse in smiling & sending her on her way Miss. She's living in another dimension of which you have no need nor part of.
    Carry on without her, no matter how hard that may be.
    in truth that's probably the best course of action. guesss i just needed to hear it from someone else apart from myself
    ~~ Missy ~~

    Planting and raising an urban homestead in the middle of Downtown big city right at the foot of the Rocky Mountains!

    Zone 5 Colorado Springs, CO USA

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    Registered User frugalfriend's Avatar
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    I agree with Darlene, time to cut your losses. She doesn't sound like a very good friend! You deserve better!

  8. #8
    Registered User Missy's Avatar
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    You're probably right, i just have a hard time worrying about whether or not i am being mean. kwim? But it isn't good for me either.
    ~~ Missy ~~

    Planting and raising an urban homestead in the middle of Downtown big city right at the foot of the Rocky Mountains!

    Zone 5 Colorado Springs, CO USA

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    Registered User Cricket1's Avatar
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    Maybe talk to her about the time you had lunch with her mother and how wonderful it was. If she's living in a dream world, you may as well, too. LOL. You could play some FUN head games.

    Don't listen to me--listen to the other smart ladies here!! That's really strange, though--I've never known anyone like that. She must be lonely and just take on your family as her own???

  10. #10
    Moderator Ceashels's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cricket1 View Post
    Maybe talk to her about the time you had lunch with her mother and how wonderful it was. If she's living in a dream world, you may as well, too. LOL. You could play some FUN head games.

    Nearly blew water out of my nose laughing at this! Thank you!

    My friends Mom is "wacky" and thrives on "making her own drama" somehow all of the events that happen in the world are somehow connected to her. You can send her packing or start correcting her errors when they happen. If you do start correcting her, ALWAYS start with the same statement. She and everyone else will start to see the pattern.

    For example: I don't understand. My MIL died before I met you. How did she dote on your boys again?

    I don't understand, how was it that my MIL showed you kindness you never met her before she died.

    THATS IT!!!! She is channelling your MIL!
    Last edited by Ceashels; 03-11-2008 at 08:48 PM.

  11. #11
    Registered User Cricket1's Avatar
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    Ceashels--now YOU have ME snorting water (Int'l Mom did that to me tonight, too through PM). Are we long lost sisters because MY mom has all tragedy connected to HER!!! LOL.

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    Registered User cissylu's Avatar
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    I`d cut my loses . sound`s like you don`t nee the hassel

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    Registered User happimommi's Avatar
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    I had a "friend" that was a bit like that. In my case, she projected her problems onto my family. It was my kids with the problems, my DH that couldn't keep a job, ect. when in reality these were all her problems. She was always giving me advice and wanting to help me "fix" my life. I had finally had enough and wouldn't give in to one of her demands, she wrote me a nasty letter ending with the phrase..."If you want me to help you fix your life...call me" That was 2 years ago and guess what?....I haven't called and my life is much calmer.

  14. #14
    Registered User luv-my-lexi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ceashels View Post

    THATS IT!!!! She is channelling your MIL!
    Okay, with that line, coffee nearly spewed

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    Registered User M55FF's Avatar
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    if she is acting like she has some inside knowledge, she very well may.

    I have a friend I can't stand either, only the person I know I think is just jealous so I have learned to not react to them or take them seriously. You can learn to do this too maybe.

    Jerry Steinfeld had a show about friends you can't stand how they just keep coming around.

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