Cleaning vs family

**auntbopera** · 04-29-2008, 09:28 AM

I married my husband's house. I am a 'passionate' cleaner, who just loves to make the house pretty. My family are a bunch of nuts and the less time I spend with them the happier I am. I don't regret not being around the family hearing all the nonsense about how they have no life, but they will travel to Viet Nam and Switzerland in one year. I am a farmer's wife and have no desire to see the other parts of the world. I have done my own traveling and I am currently earning a Ph.D. (I am not jealous.)

I just love to paint the walls, cut the grass, trim the hedges and do general housework. It all depends on your family, if mine weren't so nutty, maybe I would enjoy them more, but I would rather clean the house than be told or ordered to do this or that by them. I ceratinly don't miss any time away from these people. Not all families are sane and happy as the fairy tales go!

**PrairieRose** · 04-29-2008, 09:38 AM

You're preachin' to the choir here, sister. I love my family but can only tolerate some of them in very small doses, very far apart. I too love to work on my home, although I don't prefer to clean rather being around people I love. (I'm tired of cleaning even though I still do it all of the time, it seems)

**C@rol** · 04-29-2008, 09:41 AM

I understand what you mean. All of my relatives are at least three states away and I can't tell you what heaven that is. I love them but don't visit them often. Every few months is enough.

**IntlMom** · 04-29-2008, 09:47 AM

Kinda along those lines.....
A clean well-kept home is very important to me. I don;t like living with or in clutter. I am trying to train my children to be the same way. We often spend time cleaning together (or at least at the same time).
Anyway, my son, who is 9, said to me the other day after I had him "switch the laundry" (taking out the clothes from the dryer and putting the load from the washer into the dryer) "Mommy, I love helping you, cause you always give me easy jobs". How sweet is that????

This made me think about how some families don't train their children to do housework (my mom NEVER showed my bro. how to do laundry, now he's 35 and no help to his wife at all!). I think that it's perfectly fine to spend time with your kiddos helping them clean alongside them, instead of always "playing" with them. There has been a big debate over this lately in our mom's group at church. I have friend who says she's a mommy first, then a housekeeper..... I say you can do both. Not sure what this has to do with your question, but it's been on my mind a bit lately.

**PrairieRose** · 04-29-2008, 09:58 AM

It is very important to train your children Int'lmom. I agree with what you've said and did a lot of what you related with my own. Sometimes I thought it wasn't working, however.....in the last few years I can see it did

.

**perSue** · 04-29-2008, 10:03 AM

I can relate.
my first family is always "disappointed" in me doing whatever... or NOT doing whatever.

No one EVER contacts me unless it's to complain or ask for gifts.

I'm treated like I don't belong because I dont conform to THEIR wishes of how "I" should live my life.

So I've pretty well lost my first family.
It doesnt hurt so much except I'd like to keep in touch w/their kids, but I'm being FORCED outta my first family.

I gave them up years ago, and then gave 'em a second chance, hoping they'd see that after a few yrs of no contact w/me that I AM my own person. That worked for about a year, then it all started up again, how terrible a person I am, a failure, their disappointed... etc etc.

Part of me is hurt, it is my first family, but the other part of me says "it's not worth it. let it go."