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Inner simplicity vs frugality - can they live side by side

2K views 19 replies 15 participants last post by  pip 
#1 ·
Yes they can, as long as we begin to realize the difference between the two and yet how they go hand in hand.

The question was on couponing and how much time it took. It does take time to coupon but if you aren't enjoying it, why do it??? If baking bread takes time that you could spend elsewhere and you aren't really liking it, why do it? If gardening is driving you insane with all the work, then why do it?

Thats what simplicity is about - if you enjoy doing some of the frugal things we all do, then do it with gusto. BUT if it is causing you to feel stress or taking away from that inner simplicity your wanting, then put it aside. At a later time, it might be something you begin to thoroughly enjoy.

I've come to the place in my life right now where my thoughts on gardening are changing BIG time. I love gardens, but the work of weeding and watering and picking the bugs causes me major stress and is very time consuming, whereas I could purchase most of my products from the local farmer and give him some income. In doing this, I could focus on something I thoroughly enjoy doing, kwim. So I'm not sure if I'll garden this coming year or not, I'm thinking hard on it. And if I do, I'll garden veggies that take little time and don't cause me so much stress.

We can save when it comes to couponing, just look at Alyasmommy and how much she saves. But for me, I don't get many coupons, in fact probably about 12 a year UNLESS I really work at going through Canadian magazines, walking the isles of SOME grocery stores, getting on a Canadian coupon train, etc., etc., so I never use them unless they come right to my mail box. I don't stress out about it but look at other ways to save ways, by watching how much I spend on clothing and how much clothing we have or by not going out as often as we use to (4x a week), that don't cause me stress and that I enjoy doing.

I love baking bread so that is something I do. I enjoy hanging my clothes outside and inside during winter months, so that is something I do with gusto. I love reading but I no longer purchase books that add to our monthly budget, but instead go to the local library which I enjoy doing and get my reading from there.

So what you need to do is to begin to look at what you enjoy doing frugally and (if possible) forget the rest until such time as you can do it and enjoy doing it. To me, inner simplicity is far more important. It brings contentment and a peace that makes your life so much better. Its being able to walk the journey of living with far less stress and to enjoy it, no matter what is thrown your way. Please understand, I'm not saying everything is going to be peachy-que here or that you'll handle everything well. But when you begin to have inner simplicity reining in your thoughts and it has begun to sink deep into your soul, you'll find living much much easier than you ever did.

I wish I could take the journey that Henry David Thoreau did and go to a special place and begin to learn to live has he truly was able to live. He really is someone that through his writings and quotes, has given me so much food for thought.

Here are a couple of his quotes:

"to so love wisdom as to live according to its dictates a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity and trust."

"I went to the woods because I weished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I wanted to live deep and suck all of the marrow of life."

The last quote is my all time favorite. I want to learn how to live like that, don't you?
 
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#2 ·
hey can we have a train for this it is one i would ride all the time. I am still trying to figure out what i like and don't like. IT has been a long journey, started after my first divorce. I do have to wonder when do you finally make it to our destination. Sorry i know i asked more questions.
 
#3 ·
Heaven, when do we make it to our destination. I'm a firm believer we don't make it until we leave this earth.

Its an on going process that revolves I believe and it keeps going. I don't think I would want it to stop because I know that it keeps helping me grow and learn and go deeper. It has changed me profoundly and I believe it still has a long way to go.

I also don't ever want it to stop because I want to fully enjoy every day as if it were my last!! I don't want to come to the end of the road and regret not having done so.
 
#4 ·
Wow! You have come through for me as usual, Cj! You are absolutely right- if I'm not enjoying couponing, then why not try to cut in other areas. Its not really the couponing I'm not enjoying- I do get a thrill getting things for so little, it's just that it's taking so much time away from other things that I enjoy more. Like snuggling up with my son (who will soon be too old to even think about doing this with this mom) and watching a movie. Or taking a walk with my husband. Or letting the dog sniff everything in sight on his walk instead of hurring him along. In the end, these are the things that matter in life- not how much I saved at the grocery store. I know I'm over simplifying things here- I still do need to make ends meet, etc. But I need to focus on slowing down, streamlining things, so that I can have time for the simple pleasures in life that really matter. What you said about coming to the end of the road and having regrets is exactly how I'm feeling. I don't want to feel that I didn't do enough of the things that really mattered.
 
#5 ·
boy do i agree. i dont garden,dont know how. but am thinking of continer gardening next year.but i love couponing..i just do it while im watching auto racing or some other show..i hate sitting and doing nothing..esp when i know i can be doing other things that really need to be done:) :) :) :D :smball:
 
#6 ·
You are right, Homesteadmama :)

We should always try to do what makes us truly happy. But I don't listen very well to my heart...I listen more to my family's and everyone else who needs me, so I forget myself too much...
 
#7 ·
You are so right Mamma!
I do things all the time I don't really care to do,but I feel others expect me to do. I couldn't tell you the last time I did something just for Tammy. Tammy is always doing for others and never have time to do for herself.
Now I don't mean doing things for my kids.My kids and DH are my life,so I do for them what a mother/wife is suppose to do.
I'm talking about helping others.Now don't get me wrong,I love helping others,I just have a hard time saying no.

I love saving money by using coupons,so I use them.But I HATE HATE HATE cutting them out! It seems to take so much time.
And walking through the grocery store knowing I have a coupon for something and can't find the coupon...or the item!
Then you have cashiers who don't know anything and you have to explain every lil detail to them and argue over or not you can use the coupon even though the item is on sale lol I've actually had woman cashiers telling me I couldn't use a coupon but the item was on sale that week and already a great bargain!! LOL!!!

Anyways...I do need to do more for just myself and learn to say no when I don't really wanna do something :)

Hope my post makes sense!

I love reading your post... you are so inspiring! Thanks Mamma!! :)
 
#8 ·
You are absolutely right CJ !!!! for me it's not so much about the $$ saved as it is the satisfaction I get out of having done something.... We do need to do the things we love to do, but also re-explore the things we gave up and thought we might never do...
 
#9 ·
I basically do what I enjoy. I love thrift stores and yard sales so, I seldom buy new items. I really enjoy looking for "Teasures" at Target. Most of the time, I get a big kick out of couponing. I feel guilty sometimes that I don't do as much bread baking, canning and scratch cooking as most of you do. Most of you gals just amaze me at how much you do! I am pretty mellow these days. I just try to do the best I can.
 
#10 ·
Thanks for that post, cj! I have just started my journey to a more simple life, and finding inner simplicity. I have been on the frugal journey for a year now. They aren't necessarily the same, but they can be a help to the other.
 
#11 ·
Count me in on the "do what you love to have what you need" philosophy. I just don't see the need in stressing out over everything. So many LITTE things add up to such huge savings and if you can comfortably do them and don't mind the time, it's great. My time is of some value too so I don't clip every coupon I see, only the ones I know I will use. I don't go to every store for loss leaders cuz I have to drive 17 miles each way to the stores. I really stock up when I do go and I find that if I do some fairly simple things like ALWAYS have meat in the freezer I can find enough veggies, etc. to cook a meal. My life is sooooooo much simpler mostly due to the fact that the kids are gone from home. Just cooking what dh and I will eat is a lot easier but I am very, very happy that I stayed home with the kids and we did all that we did during that time. Now, I'm ready for things to slow down and concentrate on dh and me for a while. Simplicity to me means, making things as easy as possible on us. That's it. If that means not gardening, not cleaning as often, not cooking as elaborate meals as before....then that's what we're gonna do. AND I might add, it feels great.
 
#12 ·
I've been re-reading some of the old threads on simple living and I'm bumping this up for more discussion. This is my whole philosophy in life - if you don't enjoy doing something, don't do it.

I'm not saying here not to wash you toilet out, heaven forbid there would be a lot of dirty toilets. I am saying if gardening has become overwhelming, why do it. Why not make a smaller one or none at all. Last year we didn't make a veggie garden, this year we did and although I love having fresh veggies I'm not enjoying the weeding or the frustration of the weather. My plans for next year still haven't been decided, BUT I probably won't have a veggie garden. I'll continue with my flowerbeds because I love working in them and seeing their beauty. Yes veggie gardens are more frugal, but at this point in my life inner simplicity is more important. I can get fresh veggies at the local farmer's market and support my local economy.

Whats your thoughts on this?
 
#13 ·
I'm with you CJ!

Everyones ability varies. And one year to the next brings changes.

I didn't garden at all this year, so glad I did all that mulching last year before my surgery. Just a lot of back and forth travel and even with my new and improved energy, I need lots of recovery between travelling and guests.

Dh and I are considering putting the rasberries in 2 or 3 big rows with lots and lots of plastic in between, to make a rasberry bed, and that is it.

I'm not doing my compost again this year and I've dejunked a lot of stuff to the charity.

I got rid of my grain grinder, bread machines and some of my canning equipment and my dehydrator. Gave it to someone who will enjoy it all, and she has the freedom to let go of it somewhere further as her circumstances change.

My life has changed, and in the interests of easier cleaning, I get rid of stuff I no longer use.

There was a time for all that, and it's not now anymore, so I'm dealing with now and liking the freedom.

I got rid of all my ufo knitting projects, and my wool stash apart from my perennial love of dishcloth yarn because that IS what I knit consistently.

the freedom is fantastic.

I got rid of a lot of homeschool stuff, letting dd decide what she wants to keep for her kids/classroom later.

That is simplifying my life, by letting go my expectations of who I am right now. Yes I'm a former homeschooler and wanna be granny (but not TOO soon), yes I used to make all our bread, yes I'm a good gardener but my needs are changing.

Our son moved back home, I need space, and I need simplicity more than ever before, streamlined living and this is me now.

I want to write more, read more, and enjoy the last year of having kids at home. They both leave, ds this January, dd next May.

I will have a completely empty nest and what I've always done is live in the present, and enjoy what is NOW, so there are no regrets later.

That means ditching last years expectations and dreams for NOW and to free me up to be something different NEXT year.
 
#14 ·
I'm firmly convinced that we should do what makes us happy. Why be frugal with coupons, or gardening, sewing, cooking from scratch etc if that doesn't make you happy?

I see frugality as a means to an end. Being frugal helps us live debt-free, or at least contributes to it, and that eases stress and develops inner simplicity. But you're right, CJ, there is no destination, simplicity is a journey that never ends. There are changes from year to year in the things that take our interest and what we like or dislike, but essentially the journey towards simplicity takes a lifestime.
 
#15 ·
Margery - were on the same wavelength for sure. I've done very little canning this year and was telling a friend the other day I don't plan on canning peaches or pears. I'm going through all my jars and donating them to charity.

I've given up crocheting, other than to finish the afghan I'm doing. The instructions are greek to me and my passion lies in quilting. I want to stretch myself more in my quilting endeavours.

I think as we get older, this becomes easier to do for many of us. We realize that life is short and that if we continue to not live it, its going to be gone and were going to have many regrets. I for one, don't want those regrets.

I love this topic - very dear to me.
 
#17 ·
It's all about making the choices to live, not just churn it all over, living in the past (I wanted to knit that project) or the future (someday I'll have time for the kids)

but living in the now.

the wool left last week sometime or was it the week before. I don't regret it at all in fact it is surprising me how much freer I feel.:D
 
#18 ·
This is a great thread, and I agree with you homesteadingmamma! I do not like to garden or make bread, so I don't do either. Just not worth my peace of mind. :)
 
#19 ·
Hi - I am from New Zealand. what are all these coupons that folk keep talking about. We do not do the coupon thing in New Zealand - the supermarkets USED to have coupons you cut out for food on special but they have all done away with that now and just have what are called auto coupons which means no cutting out - the items come up auotmatically on special at the checkout.
 
#20 ·
This IS a good thread. I agree that if you can cut the things out of your life that cause you great stress, you should do it. I think the whole idea of simplicity often enables one to live a frugal life in itself. Lately I had found that my past endeavers to BE frugal, have often actually increased stress in my life. For example, saving things (that I know in my heart that I will probably never need or use in the future) that clutter up my life and peace of mind just for being there. But, I actually do not have many needs or desires for fancy, expensive items and can be content most of the time with simple meals, clothing, etc. To me, a simple life means being content with what I have and being OK with the fact that I may not go to the extremes that others might . (and maybe they enjoy the efforts they are putting forth, more power to them!) Accept my lot in life, I guess is what I am trying to say. :)
 
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