When people don't agree with your chosen path..

**mommyto5** · 10-15-2002, 07:32 PM

I was just curious if any of you experience this? We have lots of friends and most of our family don't seem to thrilled with the idea of me having another baby. (this makes #5 for us) They think we have too many kids, I have stayed home too long, we could have so much more if we had less kids and I worked. I really get offended by this because we CHOSE for our lives to be this way and I expect people to respect that. My dh makes pretty good money and all my kids are well dressed, clean and most of all well behaved. They go to Catholic school and are involved in many extra curricular acitvities. We can do lots of things because our schedule revolves arounds dh's work ours so we are available for family time. I am very happy with our lives and let most of it roll of my back but it is hurtful when your own parents are too thrilled with another grandchild. It makes me mad because I very rarely ask them to babysit and don't ask for one dime. for one thing for them to go out of their way. Yet I still get a negative attitude from them. I have ignored it for the most part because it will never change (I know this from previous experience) but it bugs me. Does anyone else go thru this??? Thanks for letting me vent. Amy

**mustang80** · 10-15-2002, 07:42 PM

I hear you Amy. Last Thanksgiving, when I was pregnant with DD3, we got attacked at dinner by relatives who feel we "have" to move. You can't stay in that house, you have to move, what's wrong with you, etc. etc. We have a 2 bedroom house with a manageable mortgage that allows us to sleep at night. We are very happy and do not like people telling us what is best for us. We've been married almost 15 years, we're doing something right. At least our kids aren't being raised in daycare. Thanks for letting ME vent-lol.

**MJsLady** · 10-15-2002, 08:00 PM

You know i used to get the same ....stuff from my mil. She felt doing volunteer wrok and leaving my sons with a sitter was better than being a SAHM!
Now that they are older I do work but when they were little i only worked at home. It drove her nuts. Now she just hates me so its not bother anymore
I would just tell them its none of their business and to move on.
but i am a witch too. I can get plenty rude when riled! fortunately thats a rare occurence

**captclearance** · 10-15-2002, 08:27 PM

We have had something similar, ds#4 was born when I was 35 and dh was 47, He was a surprise....... Family members said..You two are too old for that !!!! Too old for what ????? We were having a baby and that's all there was to it.... They would not have wanted me to end my pregnancy, but they just felt they had to get their 2 cents in..... I have heard in the past people say "Well if you ask me" (and they always say that when you didn't ask them a thing) so I let them know, I didn't ask you.....
Tell them...... MYOB !!!!!!!!

**grneyegrl** · 10-15-2002, 08:38 PM

man people like that get on my nerves..i dont have any kids,dont want any of my own but wouldnt begrudge(sp) any one who wanted a whole bunch..and by the way 5 is not a lot..when my mother had her 3 she was asked all the time why she only had 3..there is a saying "u cant win for losing".. so live your life the way u want and ignore those who dont agree..

and if i were a family member i would be asking(after saying how nice u were expecting) if u considered fostering or adopting a slightly older unwanted child..after all u seems to really be good at mothering and enjoyed a large brood

..

**homesteadmamma** · 10-15-2002, 08:43 PM

You can't please everyone, so why bother trying. In situations like this and I've had plenty after adopting 3 special needs kids when my kids were all in their teen years, I've learnt to just ignore them.

If your happy and everything is working the way you want it, in my books thats all that matters. Family members and others can often be so cruel, can't they. You can vent here all you want.

You might want to shock them with a statement something like this, "well just wait until number 12".

**dozymom** · 10-15-2002, 09:18 PM

LOL I agree!

Yup when we homeschooled in the kids high school years, that really threw a lot of people, when I quit to be a SAHM in order to homeschool. Yup everyone at work thought I was nuts and some even said so to my face.

Now that they are safely in university, people think I'm nuts for NOT going back to work.

I get a kick out of housework, cooking etc and some people tease me for that.

Most times I just laugh and say thanks for your input, but this is a done deal. Sometimes it stings.

Re the comment about 12 kids, I have a dear friend with 11 and whenever people find out she has a barrage of the RUDEST comments!

Her favourite is when they think they are so funny asking her if she and her husband know what causes the babies yet, she has a couple of showstopper answers

1-- no but we hope it isn't sex, thats too much fun to stop

2--yes but we like having sex too much to quit

Usually makes em blush!!!!

She has some other gems for large families, but I can't remember the rest off the top.

**mommyto5** · 10-16-2002, 07:46 AM

Thanks everyone. I know I should ignore it and I do for the most part. It's just very frustrating when you can't even get the support from your own family!!!!!Oh well. As long as we are all happy with our lives. Thanks!!!!!!!!! Amy