Your spouse's view on Simple Living

[MamaPyratekk]

I was curious, how many of you had spouses who were completely on board with your journey towards a more simple life?

And for those of you whose spouses weren't completely on board, but are now, what steps did you take to ease them into this?

I've recently felt the need to live a more minimalistic lifestyle, much like the recent post about a simple(r) lifestyle. In fact I went to make a post here about it and about balancing all things I want to balance in life and realized that post covered some of it! But anyhow...

The thing is that I know some of the things I would love to do, such as getting rid of cable, my husband won't be completely up for. The thing is that we only really use the television as background noise during the day and then at night we'll sometimes watch a couple of hours of TV until bedtime...just to kill time. We'd much rather sit and watch the fishtanks (soon to have three in the living room lol) instead. I've figured that I'll first talk him into cutting back to the basic package, and then see how it goes from there. But in the end my goal really is to get rid of it, I mean we might as well not even have it with how little we watch!

I think that he's open to some of the ideas that I have, but others I'm not too sure about. So how did YOU bring up these things with your spouse?

[AmyBoz]

My husband is generally on board. He agrees that we need to slow down. We enjoy each other, as a family, a great deal and anything that brings us closer together is a good thing.

He would probably be the first to say, "Let's get rid of the tv" however, I'm the one who isn't at that point. In terms of cutting back and paring down, he's on board. He and I were both looking around the house the other day, finding things to get rid of and it was nice to have a partner in it.

If I do get that garden started, I know he'll be right there, helping me. It's really great to know that he is willing to go down this road.

[Momto2Boyz]

DH is on board with alot of the things we do...however, like you there are certain things he won't give up and TV is one of them!

For the most part... I do most of the leg work in our simple living system. I know everyone has a different idea of simple living, so it depends on what your version is. Our idea of simple living is to get away from many of the "modern conveniences" that tend to make life more complicated.

So to me, I don't own a car, I cook from scratch, try to handwash my dishes (ok, I'm guilty of using the dishwasher once a week or so), no home phone, line dry my clothing, grow food in the garden, etc., etc.

However, there are certain things that we have agreed for now, that we won't give up. Those being cell phones (need for communication), internet (my one modern weakness), and TV (DH and kids weakness). However, we are trying to limit our time using all of these things!

My advice is to take baby steps and see where it leads you. Life is about the journey...not the end result! So, take little steps and enjoy the journey along the way! Don't make the end result your goal or you'll miss out on everything along the way.

[Greebo]

I'm not as willing to go as simple as Ceashels is, but we're 100% on the same page in terms of debt reduction.

I like to insist that my wife live it up a little.

[Ceashels]

Greebo not have technical entertainment?!? I don't think it would ever happen.


Would your spouse be interested in substituting Cable programming for Netflix? You can get full series of tv shows, movies, documentary, etc for a low monthly subscription and it is delivered in your mail. You may find you begin to more actively watch what you have on dvd instead of it being a time waster.

[nuisance26]

~I'd much rather converse while playing a board game or doing a puzzle than watch tv or play video games bu DH is not at all in agreement. He's an entertainment junkie. I've tried everything from "unplug days" to time limits to try to keep things simpler for my sanity but he likes what he likes. I feel I get some balance because I determine how to spend the weekdays while he's at work but after a full Saturday of gaming, movies, tv, internet games and sports I'm climbing up the walls. I'm thinking of making Sundays a permanent "Simplistic" day. Right now I just hint and make snarky comments on Sundays and that's not working!~

[freebs]

my dh is totally on board. We are already making more plans after the kids leave home. Smaller house, acres, cows, goats, big garden, all that. i just wont let go of my internet and cell phone!

[MamaPyratekk]

Would your spouse be interested in substituting Cable programming for Netflix?

This is something I've been thinking about. It would be cheaper than the cable here and he could still have some entertainment. What I think is funny is that we hardly ever watch TV, yet I know he wouldn't be too keen on giving it up. It's more of wanting to have it there "just in case" he wants to watch it lol. Do you know how much netflix is?

Our idea of simple living is to get away from many of the "modern conveniences" that tend to make life more complicated.

This is part of my personal view of it as well. I think of simple living in a very minimalistic kind of way. Right now I don't own a car (part by choice, part not), I grow a garden and am trying to cook from scratch MOST of the time. Etc etc.

[redhead68]

My spouse is generally on-board, but we still have conflicts. I have learned to compromise and let him go at his own pace. Sometimes he surprises me, like a few days ago when I found him going through his closet, weeding out clothes he never wears. That was huge! I try very hard not to push my agenda on him, but sometimes it is frustrating to let him down-size in his own time and own way.

One area that has helped is that we agreed on the maximum size of house we were willing to buy. With two kids of different genders, we needed to purchase a three-bedroom house, but that was it. No fourth bedroom to fill with junk. We finally found a house that suited us, and we are in the process of moving. There's nothing like a move to put you in a simplifying state of mind! We've donated loads of stuff to the thrift store and the library. More to go, but it's a start.

[warramra]

My husband is a good sport about it all. He lets me take the lead and see how it goes first. He does agree we have too much stuff and is totally on board about not buying new unless absolutely necessary for what we do have to buy. He also has no intention of giving up cable as long as it doesn't stress our budget. He is a huge sports fan and likes to watch whatever sport season it is. We only have standard cable, and he does not want or need any larger package for more sports channels.

He has told me that he likes our life and where it is heading now so much more than when we were so stressed out trying to live like "everyone else."

[cab54]

My DH is on a quest to get the most toys before he dies.

My quest for simplicity is my own. We are in our 50's, and I don't believe in trying to change people. I wouldn't want him trying to change me in my simpler life.

I've said many times here that my goal is and was simplicity more than frugality, but simplicity does mean that I, personally, have cut down on 'stuff', so therefore I offset his spending. He was the bread-earner, and I respect his life-decisions.

If we were broke or in debt, it would be different. We'd need to sit down and budget, as we did in our younger days. (We were VERY frugal at one time, so we're not 'hurting' now.

I DO, however, make subtle comments, like--"....in the interest of simplicity." or "I just love living the simple life".

DH just goes back to his techno-junk.

[The Muse]

DH is onboard and has been from the beginning. The quest for a simpler life has brought our marriage back from the brink of divorce. I'm lucky to have him and couldn't be happier.

[Thrifty Mom]

We are a mixed bag. My husband had never been to a garage sale when I met him & he thought it strange that people wanted other people's junk. But, my husband is not a spender. He will not buy a pop & a candy bar at the gas station. He does not particularly like to go out to eat. He gets fast food one day a week for lunch($2.00). The other days he packs, or skips lunch. He keeps out a weekly allowance & sticks to it. He can take his grandson to the hobby shop to look & never spend a dime. -- However, he hates to fix things! He wants to hire someone to fix a toilet that I think just needs adjusted. We spend a fortune each year getting the tractor serviced. He has, before I met him, hired someone to hang wallpaper & used to have a cleaning lady. Also, he never looked at prices when he bought clothes.

I look at all prices, I rarely buy anything that is not on sale. I fix as much stuff myself as I can. I rescreened the patio doors last year for just a few dollars. I scrubbed white plastic patio chairs that most people would throw out & get new. I have a garden & cook from scratch, put tons of veggies & berries in the freezer etc. I buy all my clothes at the thrift stores. I have taken over buying his clothes & although he doesn't want used clothing, I have found some tremendous sales, especially end of season, so he has fabulous clothes for work for a fraction of what he would have spent.

We do have cable, its a package with the phone & internet. He watches more TV than I do, mostly in the winter. We both are hooked on audio books & we get them from the library

[DJ1972]

DH is a man, so he is simple by nature...all he needs is food, sex, sleep, a fishing pole, and an occasional ego stroke and he's good! As long as I can deal with being single during deer season, we have no problems, lol.

[FrugalMomof3]

I would have to say my DH is on board... he is NOT a spender and if he is it's only at tax time when any CC's we have are paid off and there is a little left over but otherwise he agrees with everything I do, the brands I buy and he LOVES thrift stores and flea markets ... YAY!