How are you improving your life, daily?

**PrairieRose** · 08-10-2008, 11:54 AM

This is more of a 'thought life' based question.....maybe a little off the wall but if you think about it, it's really along the same lines as 'daily gratitues' etc... .

I have been reading a lot of positive thinking books for the past few years and have gradually been implementing what I've learned but I do feel as if I've had a breakthrough in the past year or so. I'm wondering how many of us are aware of how we actually create our lives with our thoughts. I'm becoming more and more mindful of what thoughts I 'allow' myself to entertain (such as no worry, no negativity about myself like guilt, shame, etc..) and working hard to acknowledge all the wonderful things that come my way daily.

I'm wondering what techniques you're using to improve your life? Do you constantly focus on not having enough and think that by controlling only the way you handle money will make the difference that you seek? Is your frugality your main focus or is freedom the focus? If you've seen a shift in your life due to a shift in thinking I'd love to hear about it.

**inneedofhope** · 08-10-2008, 12:01 PM

I have been consciously working on positive thinking lately as well. I always used to complain about other people's negativity holding them down, but after years of self help books, therapy, and countless "heart to hearts" with close freinds and family, I'm finally putting the focus where it needs to be, on myself!
I catch myself several times a day thinking thoughts like "I won't make it", "i can't do it", "things will never improve" etc. etc.
So now I'm making a put to counter those thoughts with more positive thoughts. It does help. For example " I survived labor pains, I can certainly get through this moment"

**elphie** · 08-10-2008, 02:01 PM

I have undergone a major life change in the last couple of years. I have become happier and more content even though none of the things I thought were holding me back have changed. I also recognize that it is up to me what I get from and give to this life. I have a hard time even explaining the change to others, it just is. I no longer have negative emotions such as worry, anger, frustration, or (this one is big for me) a need to please and impress others. I don't have to work at this, although I did in the beginning, it just is. I am much more forgiving, much more peaceful, and much more joyful.

Don't get me wrong, life is not a bed of roses. I do still get sad and have grief in my life, but I handle it differently now. I don't think of these natural emotions as negative when dealt with in a positive way. When my mil passed last year we were able to grieve for her, to feel our loss, but to also celebrate her life, and celebrate the life we still had before us. We gained wisdom and knowledge from her life and from her death. We are still sad at times but it is not in control of our lives the way grief was at times in the past.

I really think this change is one of the reasons for my change toward money too. I am looking for freedom. I see now that my purchases should be based on how they will impact the quality of my life not how others perceive me.

Thank you PR for raising such an important topic.

**PrairieRose** · 08-10-2008, 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by elphie

I have undergone a major life change in the last couple of years. I have become happier and more content even though none of the things I thought were holding me back have changed. I also recognize that it is up to me what I get from and give to this life. I have a hard time even explaining the change to others, it just is. I no longer have negative emotions such as worry, anger, frustration, or (this one is big for me) a need to please and impress others. I don't have to work at this, although I did in the beginning, it just is. I am much more forgiving, much more peaceful, and much more joyful.

This is exactly what I'm talking about too. I also feel much less judgemental not only toward myself and loved ones but others as well.....(Um, the comment I made to you the other day on AIM aside Darlene.....lol)

**missyali** · 08-10-2008, 02:20 PM

I realized, with some help, that I was negative, negative, negative. Like that character from Steele Magnolias "If you don't have something nice to say, come sit next to me." I was such a gossip and, ugh! I made some changes mostly because I didn't want my children to see me like I view others in my family. I want people to WANT to be around me rather than run from me. I think that answers your question.

**elphie** · 08-10-2008, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by PrairieRose

This is exactly what I'm talking about too. I also feel much less judgemental not only toward myself and loved ones but others as well.....(Um, the comment I made to you the other day on AIM aside Darlene.....lol)

Yes, me too. The only way I can describe this is that I can see past a person's actions and into their intentions. I see the fear and worry that causes people to do things that used to make me angry but now I realize I don't need to do anything but understand.

**dwallyfam** · 08-10-2008, 06:14 PM

Trying to have the positive outlook on life. Just finished reading "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. Very inspiring and life changing. Expecially when he tells you why road blocks exist. Makes you really think.

**TheRootedNomad** · 08-11-2008, 09:18 AM

How am I improving my life daily???? ..... hmmm...

Well I'd like to say I've reached that place where negative thoughts are almost gone but alas that would not be true. I am striving for a much more peaceful exisitance though and have made some big steps.

As for each day (some of these are conscious, some are sub-consious)

~ I try to learn something new each day, even if its something small.

~ I look at at least one thing, usually several, from alternate perspectives, not just my own.

~ I QUESTION and search for answers that make sense to me.

~ I try to find at least 5 things to be grateful for each day (and I try to post them to Emily_Hope's daily thread).

~ I try to keep my house and office organized and in order as I know that makes me feel more peaceful.

~ I spend some time in my own head.

~ I do something comforting for myself AND for someone else every day. This may be as simple as a slow cup of coffee for me and a hug for my son's scraped knee or it may be as extensive as a day alone reading for me or sitting with a loved one at the hospital all day. The point is to do something. It makes a huge difference in what you appreciate.

~ Most days I try to purge something from my life as well. Mostly its "stuff" of some sort but sometimes it's other things like "toxic thoughts or conversations"

**Katybird** · 08-11-2008, 09:39 AM

I keep a praise and joy journal. It helps me focus on the blessings and happiness in my life. I try to write in it everyday and to reread at least 5 or so entries each day. It is hard to be negative when you are reading the positives in your handwriting.

**McD** · 08-11-2008, 10:09 AM

I have recently realized that when I am unhappy...the cause is usually me. I cannot control the actions or behaviors of other people, but I CAN let their actions control my own thoughts and behavior. So now..I just have to work on not letting the actions of other people affect me and my mindset. Does that make any sense at all?

**TheRootedNomad** · 08-11-2008, 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by Katybird

I keep a praise and joy journal. It helps me focus on the blessings and happiness in my life. I try to write in it everyday and to reread at least 5 or so entries each day. It is hard to be negative when you are reading the positives in your handwriting.

What a wonderful way of looking at it. I hadn't thought much about writing things in my handwritting. I use to journal everyday and then put my 5 things at the end. I've slacked on that for a long time. I think I will revisit that activity.

**PrairieRose** · 08-11-2008, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by MrsMcDowell

I have recently realized that when I am unhappy...the cause is usually me. I cannot control the actions or behaviors of other people, but I CAN let their actions control my own thoughts and behavior. So now..I just have to work on not letting the actions of other people affect me and my mindset. Does that make any sense at all?

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Makes perfect sense to me. Good for you for becoming so self aware at such a young age Nichole

There's some really great reading out there on this subject that helps you see where you need to work and where you are at the moment in your journey......

**PrairieRose** · 08-11-2008, 01:38 PM

Originally Posted by Katybird

I keep a praise and joy journal. It helps me focus on the blessings and happiness in my life. I try to write in it everyday and to reread at least 5 or so entries each day. It is hard to be negative when you are reading the positives in your handwriting.

I'm going to implement this with a daily life journal/food journal/travel journal. I think it would be a great tool for all aspects of my life, actually. Thanks for the reminder Katybird.

**The Muse** · 08-11-2008, 03:01 PM

I've made a complete 180 degree turn from where I was a few years ago. Things happened quickly for me professionally and I became very self-absorbed. My marriage was suffering and I didn't like the person I was becoming. I was heading for a personal and marital meltdown.

So, I stopped the path I was on and refocused on what really matters to me, which is my husband and our life together. Being consumed with myself was pushing him away and we were both very unhappy.

I strive each day to live simply, regardless of career or income. I don't pay attention to marketing or the media, and I don't spend a minute considering what others think of me other than to make sure I'm treating them fairly and with respect.

I try very hard to be a loving, supportive, and good wife. I try to accept myself, DH and others without judgment. I try to not be impressed with things that don't matter and to enjoy the things that do. If I skip my evening run and instead cook a nice dinner, the world isn't going to come to an end.

I seek simplicity and frugality follows.

**mira** · 08-12-2008, 08:18 AM

So many good, thought-provoking tips here. Thank you to everyone.

I am also trying to focus more on seeing the positive and in giving up the negative habits. Journaling is great but also just trying to remember to stop now and then to do something gentle (an unexpected kiss for a kid, a nice note for someone, etc).

I'm a work in progress but at least I'm working on it.