....who you are not who you're suppose to be.

**TheRootedNomad** · 09-01-2008, 08:01 AM

"A house is who you are, not who you ought to be."

When we first moved into this house about a decade ago one of the first things I did was paint the kitchen and stencil a couple of my favorite qoutes on the walls over the cabinets and doorways. Over the years, especially as we've worked on our long-term DIY projects, I've found myself drawn to and to some degree consulting this quote as I make choices I am struggling with. It very frequently helps to keep me grounded and to remind me that I choose to live as I am and not what society as whole expects of me or any of my circle of family, friends, or co-workers thinks I should be.

Over the years as we've went from one crisis or project to the next I would sometimes find myself smiling at that qoute and think yes
"we are in chaos", " we're evolving", " we're growing", "we're a hot mess" and so on. At some points I've thought about hanging a sign under it that says "Forgive us our mess as we do renovations and improvements". Every time I've thought this about our home I've also found that it was in line with how I was feeling at the time as well.

As we approach remodeling the kitchen I find myself thinking of it as I scan kitchen ideas. I continued to battle the wood vs. white cabinet idea in my head (as I've posted many times). I like them both. I have an affinity for clean and simple (white). I also have an affinity for nature and the warmth and comfort of wood. When I found that I kept thinking that the wood I liked for the kitchen would probably make it too dark but then started trying to talk myself into getting all wood cabinets in the darker shade I like by telling myself it would help resale eventually, that wood cabinets are more elegent, and viewed as higher end I had to stop myself. I glanced at my wall while drinking my coffee and thinking about this and gave myself a good swift KICK.

"A house is who you are, not who you ought to be."

I am not elegent, high-end, luxerious, or so on, nor do I strive to be. None of us that live here are. I am a denim and flannel personality with a little soft lace underneath and some hard, heavy leather on top kind of girl. The kitchen is where I spend more time than anywhere else but my bedroom and if/when I don't have to work full-time the time I spend there will probably far outweigh the time I spend in the bedroom so it needs to fit. So there will be no talk of what most would call "elegent" for my kitchen it is not what I am.

Someday I hope to look up at the quote and think....Warm. Peaceful, Happy, and Content in every way.

**daughter of pearl** · 09-01-2008, 09:04 AM

What a great quote!

**Dobby** · 09-01-2008, 09:34 AM

That is a great quote, and I totally agree. I think that's why I'm so uncomfortable in this house right now; I'm renting from my dad, and everything except the living room is still done with his colors, wallpaper, etc. The living room I painted last summer, and it's the only room I feel at home in.

**perSue** · 09-01-2008, 10:29 AM

that's beautiful!

simplicity is the best - imho.

i'd love to have a kitchen like yours.

**Natalie** · 09-01-2008, 10:46 AM

Me, I'm a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl. Though my space(s) is/are rather cluttered right now, it's controlling me. Being a t-shirt girl with way to many t-shirts, I can't seem to part with them right now, but ... I'm more in control ... not acquiring! (grit teeth, cross fingers...)

Life is a journey. It's not how you get there, but that you're on the road.

**elphie** · 09-01-2008, 10:57 AM

Very interesting theory... as I look around my house, I would have to agree. My home is decorated with earth tones; I am an earthy gal. My home is never quite finished, a work in progress if you will; I consider my spirit to be a constant work in progress. My house is clean but messy; the same could be said of my mind/body/spirit.

Thanks, I don't think I'll ever look at those unfinished projects or dirty dishes the same. Now instead of seeing them as clutter or mess I will see them as opportunities for growth.

**GiddyMoon** · 09-01-2008, 11:26 AM

I can totally relate. We looked so long and hard to find a "home" that we loved being in, which was very different than most things on the market or what everyone seemed to want.

I too love my denim ...my sheets are even denim, flannel in the winter..and you will always find me in jeans and a tie dye tshirt. lol