finding my way back

**Rhiamon** · 08-26-2009, 10:14 AM

Not sure if this is where to post but it seemed like the best place. I stopped going to church and believing in God long ago. I had a traumatic childhood lots of abuse, the death of my brother and my first suicide attempt when I was 11 years old. I didn't feel like he was there for me or that I was forgotten because how could a god that was supposed to love me leave me to go through all that.
Anyways since my separation from my husband I feel like I am finding my way back. That I need a community of good people that I need to pray. I have even started praying with my daughter and this is all new to her as well. DD and I went to church a month ago but Sunday school wasn't in for the summer and we had to leave half way through because she was not behaving very well and was bored, she has focus problems and I did not want to push it so that she has a full blown tantrum. So I thought about going back once Sunday school starts again. I must say I am nervous about all of this and not sure where to start from. I have a strong belief in mother earth and wonder if these two beliefs conflict with each other or can they work together? I feel I just need to simplify things and getting back to the basics of life. If this makes sense at all?

**Incognito** · 08-26-2009, 11:21 AM

In life's struggles, we are all in this together.
Life is hard, and death is harder, but God is there, even when we don't understand why things have happened or how to cope.
Praying that you will find your way back, and that truth and light will guide you in your journey.
Praying that God will give you His comfort in ways that you will recognize.

Praying that you will survive the trauma and sorrow you have known, and that in your growth you will bear the fruits of strength and wisdom and compassion.
Take care!

**perSue** · 08-26-2009, 11:30 AM

Rhiamon, you make perfect sense.
Not everyone here at FV are christians nor believers in a 'God'... and that's ok.
There are many conflicts within one religion, let alone two sets of beliefs. Don't worry about the conflicts... concern yourself with your desires, your beliefs. Perhaps the church you went to is exactly what you need, or perhaps not. But keep looking if you so desire.

Simplicity is not so much a 'religion' or set of rules as given per a religion... it is a choice, a lifestyle some may say. Take it as you will.

As others have told me for advice, take it slowly. This sounds deeply important to you, and you need to take it one step at a time. If something doesnt 'feel right', don't do it. If what one person tells you sounds right, follow that, until you have made a solid decision.

There are "earth" religions (mostly Pagan), some Pagans are here on FV and I'm sure could give you excellent information. However, there are other secular religions that can tie the two (God and Earth) together, if that's what you seek. Again, there are those who have these beliefs here on FV. Just ask.

I really hope you find what you are searching for, as it sounds like you have recognized an emptiness you wish to fill. And for that, I salute you and I support you.

Good luck and many hugs to you.

-perSue

**AmyBoz** · 08-26-2009, 12:02 PM

Best of luck to you, wherever this faith journey takes you.

**schellie69** · 08-31-2009, 08:45 AM

Rhiamon I understand about the childhood abuse and wondering why it seemed God left me alone in that kind of life but as I remember back there where people who came into my life and helped me in many ways just when things were at the worst something would happen to always make things better not to say the abuse stopped or changed but there was something that gave me hope and kept me going. Now as a mother of 4 and grandmother to 1 (and one on the way) I can see things better I was like you at one time trying to find my way to something I have finally found a belief system that works for me it is not really a religion really just the rules that I live by and try to follow. someone told me to follow my heart and it would lead me where I needed to go and it has just remember that there are people who love you and will help you on your journey. Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way....

**Teresa T** · 08-31-2009, 08:25 PM

I think your post makes perfect sense and I wish you luck on the journey ahead of you. After all the care of mother earth would fit in perfectly with a faith in God. To me anyway. I too think a simple life is better.

I don't attend church but you may want to look into several. Maybe a nondenominational church. If one doesn't feel right or seem to fit, try another.

**mamamia** · 09-01-2009, 04:49 AM

Rhiamom, there are so many out there who are at the point where you are at, and I'm sorry for all the sadness in your life.

I would just like to tell you to earnestly pray to God to find the truth. Believe me, it is His will for you (and everyone) to come to know Him. He will be sure to help you find your way.

Keep us posted, ok?

Hoping the best for you!

Theresa