Life...where is it leading us...?

[simplemom]

Heather's daily quote of today has made me think...

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.

...I know everything happens for a reason, but why is it some people go through much more difficult things in their lives than others?
I know life teaches us lots of important lessons for our own growth, but sometimes I wonder how much can one person be able to learn, if it's through many difficulties? I think of my aunt Francine...I also think of my father when I say this...I don't want to go into his life's story, but his whole life, from birth to today has been a very difficult road. Today he is very sick and very depressed and even with support from his therapist and pyschiatrist, drs. and family, he just isn't able to *find* happiness....

I'm thinking alot, also about me...my life, my family....often I feel happy, but often I feel a void inside and think...*Is this what life is?* I find there must be something more than this?....

It's true, today, with life being so fast, no body having time to slow down and talk with you, enjoy time with loved ones, family and friends--because everyone is running---how can I make sense of this life?

Everyday, I try to live my life as meaningful as I can, but I feel lonely trying to do this...I wish more people around me would invest what I invest for others.

...I don't know...I feel kind of lost this morning. Being sick with the cold, maybe didn't help. Not really celebrating Easter maybe didn't help. My father being very ill this week-end maybe didn't help. Having a confrontation with my sis certainly didn't help....I only have one sister and we are *so* not close....I tried so much, but I am tired of being careful of what I say and being nice all the time....

In conclusion, as much as I love you all here at Frugal Village and need your friendship to brighten my day, I wish I had such great friends living closer to me. Somehow it makes no sense that my closest friends are on internet...(no offense to you dear friends)...but do you know what I mean?....

So as Heather said... Everything happens for a reason. But what IS the reason? Will I find out one day?

What's your view on this?

[Heather]

First of all Lucie, yes I do know what you mean and what you are talking about!

It does seem like some people have way more to "deal" with than others and yet I look at my grandma who in her later years told me so many stories of her growing up and I was shocked to say the least.....the sadness, early death of some of her siblings, father abandoning them and so much more.....I never would have known, my grandma was the sweetest, kindest person with the most gentle soul. She took life for what it was and moved on she said, not that she wasn't sad inside at times because she was. There was a better place she was going to be someday and I'm thankful she's there now, at peace.

I too wonder Lucie, why me, how much more can I take and yet time heals so much and so much more quickly than I can imagine. And after hardships there is usually always good. A simple act, a smile from someone you love, something is always there that is good.

With my faith I believe I am here to serve the Lord through my family, friends and yes, even strangers. There are many times that my mind wanders, my path isn't straight, I feel like giving up but faith leads me. It isn't something I can really explain, it's just there. Don't get me wrong, I cry, I get angry when I've been hurt deeply and sometimes it takes a long time to get over but I always have to remember why I'm here and for who. I know the rewards in Heaven will be far greater.

My aunt who passed away too early in her life told me that all you can do is "Do your best in every area of your life" It sounds like such a simple statement but it's so true....if we give it our best we can't go wrong. And then on the flip side, being such a simple statement, it's hard to do sometimes.

Lucie, you are one of those people that have such a kind "aura" around you......it didn't take long to realize that you too have a gentle soul and kind heart. You are raising a beautiful family and have a husband who loves you and you love in return. I think real, true friends are hard to come by and when it's right it will happen!

Thanks for making me think even more.........

[simplemom]

Thank-you Heather for sharing your thoughts with me. I see you understand what I mean....and you're too kind with your compliments for me....thank-you...I think the same of you... (((hugs)))

You know...what really holds me up to continue each day and try to be positve is often my faith too....and that I feel needed by my family, parents, aunt Francine...I have the impression nothing would make sense if I had no one to care for. I know life is not only about living for others, but I couldn't live just for me....I need others to be happy...

What I find hard, sometimes, is to see those I love suffer and that there is little I can do but try to comfort them or be there....

Heather, your grandma seemed like a very special lady. Bless her heart. And your aunt's advice is very good. She was right and you're right, too---it's not always easy to do...

I guess that's also why we often hear *live one day at a time*---maybe living ahead too much can be too much one person can handle--well at least I feel like that, when I try to look ahead too far...or when I try to understand too much about life...

I'm glad I made you think more about your quote... I was afraid that maybe I sounded too pessimist this morning...since I wasn't feeling that joyful...I'm slowly feeling alive as my cold slowly leaves my body....

[forestdale]

What a great thread, Lucie. Thankyou for sharing your innermost thoughts with me.

I too believe that everything happens for a reason and what that reason is can be a different thing to each person. For instance, what was the reason behind 9/11? For each person who experienced that horror there is probably a different reason that they feel was behind it. Each person is free to examine that tradegy and how it effected them and take from it what they can. I doubt we ever get to know the true reason for anything that happens. What is important is how we let things effect us and how we learn from what happens.

I think we all have to make ourselves happy and everyone does this in their own way. My version of happiness may not be yours and vice versa. I believe that happiness is not one thing, not one momentous event that happens and then we think: ok, now I'm happy. Happiness comes and goes, it's fleeting, transient and elastic. Sometimes it can be stretched further but most times it dissapears as quickly as it came. I don't think you always know happiness when it's calling, I think more that it's something you look back on and think: yes, I was happy then or, yep, that really made me happy. I think that it's all of those little happinesses that add up to "being happy"- it's all the small triumphs you have in life, the unexpected things your kids say that make you smile or proud, as well as a million other things.

Lucie, I think that what you're doing, examining your life and trying to live it as best you can, is a most admirable thing. Many people never examine their lives. Thoreau said: "Most men live lives of quiet desperation." and I think that's right. But we don't have to be desperate, we can choose happiness. I have about 10 women who I think of as true long-term friends. Of those wonderful women I can really only talk about my inner self with two of them. The internet is a miracle in some ways. It gives us a way of loving and caring for people we may never see in the flesh. But that doesn't mean that the feelings are less. I hope that one day soon you find someone close that you can discuss these profound thoughts with. In the meantime, I'd be happy to receive a PM from you so we could discuss it further.

And Heather is right, you do have a "kind aura".

[simplemom]

Originally posted by forestdale

I think we all have to make ourselves happy and everyone does this in their own way. My version of happiness may not be yours and vice versa. I believe that happiness is not one thing, not one momentous event that happens and then we think: ok, now I'm happy. Happiness comes and goes, it's fleeting, transient and elastic. Sometimes it can be stretched further but most times it dissapears as quickly as it came. I don't think you always know happiness when it's calling, I think more that it's something you look back on and think: yes, I was happy then or, yep, that really made me happy. I think that it's all of those little happinesses that add up to "being happy"- it's all the small triumphs you have in life, the unexpected things your kids say that make you smile or proud, as well as a million other things.
[/B]

Bethany, I really like what you have written there....I think I panic when I feel less happy, on occasions...like you said, happiness comes and goes....I'll have to think more about his.... and try to be at peace more...

Thank-you Bethany. I'm looking forward in talking more with you....

[guest2]

Well....you have all got me to thinking about this. It has taken me a couple of days to digest all this and to think about it before I responded.

I agree that happiness is fleeting and varies from person to person. I also have moments of great despare and have to go to my source (the Lord) for strength. I have found that for me, true Joy comes from knowing that I am a child of God and even in my darkest moments, I take joy in that. True Joy is different from happiness. When I feel overwhelmed and empty, I go to the Lord to be filled once again with His love. I ask His direction for my life and try to be still and know that He is God and is in control. I can honestly say that before I became a Christian, I had a hole in my life that could not be filled with anything. I tried to fill it with relationships, alcohol (to numb the intense emotional pain I was feeling), activities, work, buying clothing I did not need, food, etc.. My life is diferent now, even though I feel empty at times and like I have nothing left to give and even feel intense sadness, I don't have that hole, it's been filled by God.

Does this make any sense at all???????

[Heather]

Debbie, it makes total sense to me!