are you happy?

[forestdale]

I've been thinking a lot about happiness lately. What it is, and why it visits us and is not a permanent state of being. Let me first say that I think happiness is the conscious state of being content. It's that moment when you think, "I'm really happy", it's the acknowledgement when you think about how you're doing in your life. For the rest of the time I think we are content - to me, that's the everyday version of happiness. Being content. for me, is when I go about my normal everyday life, not questioning my state of mind - I just know everything is okay. I've learnt life's lessons so far, I've made my mistakes, I've cried over all that split milk, I've regretted all I'm going to regret, and now, NOW I've got it together and finally, I'm content, and when I think about it, I'm happy. For me, being content seems to be a long term feeling, being happy comes in short spurts.

This feeling I've got now is a deep down, firmly ingrained feeling that everything is good and will continue to be good. It's not the kind of happiness I felt when I was younger and I just bought a new dress and was going out that night, or when I finished studying, after all those years, and I was about to graduate. This is a permanent state, it feels secure and comfortable.

I'm wondering now if this contented feeling comes with age. I never felt like this when I was younger. I felt happy (in spurts), this is different. This feeling permeates my life and makes most things easy and I doubt I could have felt it earlier. I'm more relaxed, I'm not wanting more, I'm okay with whatever happens. Maybe I'm just seeing things from a different perspective now. Maybe I need to be locked away in looney bin, who knows.

I doubt that happiness can be a permanent state. If it were, how would we know that we were happy? It would be redundant. It needs to be a feeling that happens occasionally, that's one of the things that makes it so special. It's like a gift that can be from someone you love, from a stranger or from yourself.

How do you describe happiness. Are you happy? And if you aren't, what would it take right now to make you happy?

Please take a few minutes to think about this and reply. I'd love to find out how most people here define their happiness. Thanks.

[Chea]

I am happy and I agree that its not the kind of happiness that goes in spurts anymore. I think they say that with age comes contentment and I think thats what I'm feeling. Sure there are the day to day struggle of life but they don't phase me. I'm quite content and happy with what I already have. I think thats the key to it all.

[Guest1]

no, I'm not happy & I don't care to say much more than that at the present time....

I'm hoping it is something that comes with age...but I wish it came with MY age!

someday....

[DaisyLady]

Happiness for me is a conscious state of mind. It is an opportunity everyday to look at our circumstances and decide how to deal with them. When life throws us a curve(and we have been thrown many) we choose if we are going to let it bog us down or if we are going to rise above it. As I get older I find it less of an effort to make that decision and more of an instinct. I have learned not to allow my "mood" to be determined by how much money I have in the bank, or what possessions I own or what other people think of me. These were big factors when I was younger. I take pleasure in every "little" thing like watching spiders with a five year old, cuddling with hubby and singing with my children. That is how I define my happiness. I make my own happiness. Part of that is also finally accepting me for who I am.
Will I always be happy now? I don't know because I don't know what the future holds. But for now I will enjoy.

[Michelle]

Overall yes. There are many days, though, when I need to remind myself of how fortunate I am to be blessed with all I have.

I do find myself not caring (as much!) about the little things any more as I age. I really hope to find happiness every day at some point.

Debbie

[isaacsmommy]

Overall, I'd have to say I'm happy. Although I don't think of it in those terms (I probably should) - I generally feel like I'm not as UNhappy as I used to be. As I learn and grow and make decisions about the way I want to live my life, I feel much more empowered, confident, and secure in who I am. That's where my contentment comes from...

[sunshine]

Nope, not happy now. However, I made some decisions recently that have contributed to this- and I'm content with my decisions.

So-- not happy, but content. Does that make sense at all, without going into my whole life story?

[duckduckgoose007]

The older I get, the more I just let life take over.

I am happy when my Hubby & Children are all Happy & Healthy.

Right now things are going pretty good.

I have ALOT more patience now that I am older. {for most things}

For the most part I just take each day as it comes & try to be the best I can be.

[forestdale]

Thank you all so much for your responses on this very personal subject. I think a few of you have hit the nail on the head when you say that happiness can be connected to acceptance and empowerment. Do those qualities come with maturity? For me they did.

I'd like to read many more responses to this fascinating topic. Hopefully, by reading how others feel about happiness and contentedness, it may help guide some along the road to a more fulfilling inner life.