How do you find joy in life?

[simplemom]

What makes you happy each day?

Do you ever have the impression you don't know what you are doing here in this life?

And another question which is always in my mind...

how many of you truly enjoy Christmas and other holidays....don't you feel it is so much work?.....

What motivates you to keep caring for your family, taking care of your home, doing the cooking, the shoping, etc...?

I may sound weird with my questions, but I am feeling so out of touch about life these days and it's not just recent---this has been in my heart for a long time. I never seem to find or feel the answers.

Maybe I'm not alone feeling this way....?

[kimmee]

I love to serve. and I love being loved and needed. This is with regard to my family AND my animals. I take great joy and pride from doing a job and doing it well. I KNOW I am a good mom. That fills me with happiness. Sometimes its overwhelming and you don't feel appreciated but ho wdo YOU feel about you and the job you are doing. We can't count on others to give us the kudos we need - they may be feeling their own voids. (I know with my posts that you all know I run the gamut of emotions) The bottom line is it is all within us. I love the holidays and the work is worth it to see the sparkle in my family's eyes. But I can tell if my tree is pretty and my food is yummy and that makes me feel lik I do'd good!!

[Ellise]

What makes you happy each day?
It's the little things that count for me. A simple thank you, hug, kiss and smiles. It makes me happy to know that I have people who love me for who and what I am.

Do you ever have the impression you don't know what you are doing here in this life?
No, I feel like I put here on this earth to take care of others, to give unconditional love and open my heart, arms and mind to those who wish to partake in it.

And another question which is always in my mind...

how many of you truly enjoy Christmas and other holidays....don't you feel it is so much work?.....

I love The Holidays, I don't feel like it is work to spend time and make memories with the ones you love. We love it so much that we celebrate Chrismakkah, inorder to observe both of our religions.

What motivates you to keep caring for your family, taking care of your home, doing the cooking, the shoping, etc...?

My family. It's my job

I may sound weird with my questions, but I am feeling so out of touch about life these days and it's not just recent---this has been in my heart for a long time. I never seem to find or feel the answers.

Maybe I'm not alone feeling this way....?

I think there are alot of people that feel this way.
When was the last time you did something JUST for you?
Oh Lucie, all I can do is send you lots of & I hope you can come to terms with what is making you feel this way.

[guest2]

Lucie

It's the little things that make me happy each day...even when I am overwhelmed and feeling really down I can always count on a few things.
~my family and their love
~goodmorning kisses from my hubby before he heads off to work
~my cats and their need for love and attention
~knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if it seems very dark where I am at the moment
~knowing that if things get really bad, I can go to Montana and spend some time there being refreshed
~getting into God's word and drawing strength from it and prayer

As for Christmas...I try to make it as hassle free as possible. I no longer try and do the big meals but rather bake a bunch of different breads ahead of time, make a huge pot of potato cheese soup, have cinnamon rolls for breakfast (I buy the frozen ones and let them rise overnight on the counter then pop them into the oven in the morning) and try to relax a bit. The best Christmas gift you can give to yourself and your family is to be relaxed and really enjoy yourself rather than being stress about the meals, extended family obligations, etc.. Last year was a horrible Christmas for us due to extended family members and we are not having a repeat of that this year. I think we are going to Montana to spend Christmas at the lake with my parents and oldest brother this year since I am feeling a need to be there. It should be a good time and give my boys some time to get to know thier Uncle better. Plus there will be lots of wonderful snow there and the kids can go sledding, ice skating and snowboarding!

As for caring for my family, we all pitch in around here with the chores. Nobody should be expected to do everything. I know that I cannot do it all and I need help! I want more than anything to make my home a place where people feel welcome, where they can come and be loved and heal from all the hurts they feel. I needed a place like that growing up on a consistant basis and rarely got it. So now I am trying to do that for others.

I pray that you will once again find your joy Lucie. Sometimes we just get so overwhelmed doing for others that the dpression sets in heavy upon us. You need to take some time for you and let your family know that you need help. You are a giver, but givers need time to recharge or they will have nothing left to give. I love you Sweetie!!!!

[simplemom]

Thank-you Kimmee, Elise and Debbie for answering to my questions. Hearing what others feel and think, helps me alot.

[forestdale]

Lucie, for me it's having the freedom to do as I please. I could fly to London and go shopping but I choose to sit on my front verandah and smile at my silly dogs. It makes me so happy!

I think there are times in our lives when we hit a wall and feel like we don't belong or that everything is hopeless. I hit one of those about a year ago. But I really think that those times are there to make us stop and think about the next stage of our lives. Are you at some sort of crossroads? You uneasyness may be because of uncertainty. Give yourself time to think about your life. Your mind is a wonderful thing, given half a chance it will lead you to where you should be.

[Sara Noel]

I'm happy each to day to just be breathing. I'm really not the type to marvel over the tiny trickle designs condensation makes on the windows or anything, but I do feel a sense of deep joy when I consider that life is a gift. My little family brings me joy and when they don't (because I don't rely on that) I create it for myself. Even when they are all making me nuts, I am so happy to be a mom and wife. Life wasn't always this good. I think hope is what keeps me joyful too.

I keep a mental tally of things that make me feel happy and when I feel down I draw from that little internal list and do something about it.

There are times I feel despair or a bit defeated over it all, but it's a very temporary feeling and it passes once I refocus externally instead of focusing on myself. Occasionally, the problem is the lack of focus on myself and in that case, I do something to nurture myself. Whether that's just some quiet time to read, accomplishing something I've been wanting/needing to do, sharing with friends or my little family, setting goals, whatever.

As for Christmas, I do enjoy it. Before I was married I worked crazy hours during holidays and really just couldn't wait for them to be over. Now, I love the special family time together. I often wish our extended family was more supportive because we spend holidays alone every year. Being alone is good too though. It's a day where I don't feel pressure. It's a day for me to make as special as I want for my family. One year it might be more simple and that's ok too. There are of course times when I wish there was more I could provide for my children because times are tight, but overall I love them the best I can and truly feel inside that that is what they will remember most of all.

You ask what motivates me to care for my family and whatnot. I motivate me. Knowing the role I have in this family. Knowing the impact I can have on their lives. All the little moments are building blocks of time that is in essence our lives. How do I want it to be for all of us? So many things are out of our control. I can control some things and I take advantage of that. I choose to be happy. It's part of what I want my children to remember. It's how I choose to be.

As far as cooking, well I am not very well motivated all the time to do that. It's not something I enjoy all the time. Some days I downright hate it. lol I think of it as a responsibility and just dive in and do it. I really want to work on this area and work on presentation and little things. I was raised that way and it's one of those little things I don't always take time doing, but I certainly could. I have the chance to and should while I am here at home and not working outside of the home.

Cleaning...well for me that's a personality preference. I am clean. It doesn't mean I like to clean. It just means for me clean is the only option. lol I'm motivated by my personality that doesn't like things to be untidy. I'm also motivated by wanting my family to be in an environment that is appealing, organized, warm etc. I want to be a good role model for my kids too.

[Nada.Leona]

What makes you happy each day? I think I enjoy the fact that I wake up every morning to a man I love. My health is good, I am able to live a lifestyle I chose of my own free will and enjoy it to the full extent of my abilities. My religion and choices cost me nothing and they have given me so much in return. And there's nothing that brings tears to my eyes like seeing my sweet little kitty come purring over and curling up in my lap.

Do you ever have the impression you don't know what you are doing here in this life? More often, I worry that I am not progressing farther or as quickly. But I know why I'm here and what I'm doing: I am a Kitchen Witch and a Country Goth. I am to be a mother, a wife, a friend, a healer, a confidant, a challenge, a choice and a security. I also have an incredible imagination and a good deal of creativity. It makes me feel good that I can use both in my life. They are very important tools to me.

How many of you truly enjoy Christmas and other holidays....don't you feel it is so much work?..... Perhaps Christmas (I celebrate Yule, but it's similar) is more difficult for those with larger families and children. I myself have none, and only have to truely worry about myself and my husband. For me, the biggest worry about Christmas is presents and with whom we choose to spend the holiday.

What motivates you to keep caring for your family, taking care of your home, doing the cooking, the shoping, etc...? Pride. I am so proud of my accomplishments. I am the soul bread-winner in my home, while my husband goes to school. As well, he's a man and knows nothing about housework, no matter how hard I try to teach him. Yes, I'm sure he fakes much of it, but as the saying goes, "If you want something done right..." But it does make me proud to provide for my husband, to pay for our home, to cook good healthy meals, to pay our bills, to find little ways to make our lives better. And I love seeing my sink all shiny!

If you're feeling out of sorts, perhaps it is more than just within -- perhaps it is without, as well! I don't mean to sound pushy or promoting, but check out www.flylady.net. She is an excellent source of inspiration and positive thinking, and she helps organize both your home and your life. I thoroughly enjoy her sight, and so do thousands of others.

Bright Blessings!
Rawiya

[simplemom]

I really enjoy reading what you have all written. Thank-you for taking the time to answer these questions.

From time to time, I need to know what other people around me do in life and how they see life. I realize that sharing thoughts and feelings and ideas is essential for me. Learning how others live their lives, how they spend their time, how they love their families helps me open up my eyes to my own life. I don't know if you think this makes sense, but it really does for me.

I have been thinking alot after asking these questions and one thing you have said, Sara, has reminded me of something important I have been putting aside and forgetting. When you said:

*Occasionally, the problem is the lack of focus on myself and in that case, I do something to nurture myself. *

and Elise you even asked me the question:

*When was the last time you did something JUST for you?

Well, I have again forgotten myself completely. I've got to learn to care a little better for me.

Now my question is: Why do I forget this all the time? and if it happens to YOU:

How do you remind yourself to nurture yourself regularly?

I really apreciate all your answers. Thanks for sharing with me.

[kimmee]

Unfortunately - alot of us - especially the full time mommee's - got to crash before we realize. Someone even told me once if you don't take you time your kids will think you don't need it and then when they grow up and become parents (specifically Mommees) they'll say oh yeah - mommees dont need "me" time so the cycle continues. I had a young friend once who told me that he felt his mother was put on earth to serve him and his brothers , and he said it with complete conviction!! we don't have a smiley here witha dropped jaw so I can't follow that sentence with one... will have to do!!