I want to change our routine and slow down.

**happymommy** · 04-28-2005, 07:59 PM

I hope you all don't mind me jumping in here. What has been bothering me is my dh work schedule.
Well, now I feel we are at a place where he doesn't need to work
O.T., yet feel like the company expects him to put it in. or else your slacking off...kwim?
Dh would love to work 40hrs... how can I help him acheive this goal?
I know I would have to be more careful with out spending and savings, because we are use to the extra money and yes I know it's extra and could be gone in a flash... another reason to live on less and make due.

He works 50-55hrs. each week plus commute. He has worked so hard for us and is finaly able to slow down, less bills, more savings, better spending habits.

I want to change our thinking and add more simple pleasures, like time together.

Thanks Jan

**Chea** · 04-28-2005, 09:00 PM

I'm in the same boat as you with my dh. I've been able to cut down on our expenses and TG we've been able to start working on our savings etc. My dh works a nearly mandatory 10 hours a day, 6 days a week. He never calls in, never takes sick days and its difficult to see him doing so much hard work! I'm not sure how to pull it off myself. I'm working on having my dh put in for more 3 day weekends this summer to enjoy life a bit. But its always a struggle since there is so much pressure to do the OT.

**momof4** · 04-30-2005, 09:48 AM

I just joined and am reading several threads - I had to reply to this one because I need advice in this area, too!!!

In my warped thinking, I have been trying to simplify things on the homefront and with the kids and our personal lives, but yet still letting DH go on with his busy work schedule. I have figured that at least he has a calming home environment and family. However, I am not always successful and it just turns into a vicious cycle. ..What do you do and how do you handle it?!? DH truly believes in simplifying things, but it is soooo hard achieving it. We make baby steps forward and make good progress, and then it seems we will take a big step backwards. We keep plugging along, but somedays it is discouraging. I hope some more seasoned and experienced people will share their struggles and advice.

Elizabeth

**homesteadmamma** · 04-30-2005, 11:01 AM

Your all doing great. Your starting on the homefront where you feel the most comfortable and where you know you'll have success. Keep working on that front in baby steps.

While working on the homefront, start showing your dh what you've been doing. Show him how you've cut back in your expenses. Show him how you've been able to save a dollar here, a dollar there. While do that, begin to set some goals of him not working so many hours. Talk, talk, talk so that he knows you want him at home more and what it means to you and the kids. Don't nag - it won't get you anywhere.

Also sit down and figure out what OT is really costing you and how much you really bring home. Most times, it puts you in a totally different tax bracket and you bring home way less that you would if he worked the regular hours. Don't let others make you think OT is the best. Not only does it cost in the tax area, but it puts stress on the homefront, it doesn't help his health nor does he get the rest he needs.

He has to make the decision on his own though (with hint from you). If he is anything like my dh, he wants security for his family and he wants to know that everything is good. When I burnt out and our family physician told me I had to cut back in every area, he finally realized he needed to come off the road and work the regular 40 hours. Now he is retired and were loving it.

Good luck in getting your dh home more. Were here to encourage you and help anyway we can.

**Mom23boys** · 04-30-2005, 01:07 PM

CJ gave you some wonderful advice.

I am speaking from my personal life here. My DH has been at a job for 14 1/2 years. They had always worked 7 days a week, 12 hours a day. They would work 12 days straight and get 2 days off. So we were accustomed to his overtime pay. Then the mad cow scare hit last year and his hours went down to 3 days a week, 8 hour days (if you were lucky). We weren't planning for such a cut in his hours, but things happen that were out of our control. That went on for almost 9 months. Talk about tightening your belt. We cut out everything we didn't see as a neccessity.....cable, extra phone line, newspaper, raised insurance deductibles, cut out long distance on the phone, etc. I clipped coupons and bargain hunted. DH even pitched in to help me. We had a stock pile already to start with because we already were living frugally and I think that is what saved us. We just cut out a little more. I work also so my pay helped pay the mortgage, car payment, etc. We worked together to survive. I had alot of prayers from the Village family also.

I didn't think we would make it at first, but we did. I am glad that we had this happen because now we see that DH doesn't need that overtime for us to be happy. Now he seldom works overtime even though things have picked back up. He is happier for not having too and being able to stay home and do things with his family. It was a blessing to our family that we weren't aware of at the time.

I hope that it works out for you so that your DH won't have to put in so many hours.